By

~

Ok, so here goes. I never used to think my attraction to people was strange, that is until about 7th grade. That's when I met (let's just call them X for now) X. I tried once again to push down my feelings. I failed though. It was always kind of hard for me to even open up to the possibility I may like people other than boys. My father had raised me in a way to think it was unnatural. After all of the support in the news, I started realizing, maybe this wasn't normal. Earlier this year, I was having an anxiety attack and texted one of my friends that I needed help: I was very depressed. I am usually so happy, so it may have come as a shock. We ended up sharing a lot of secrets that night. She told me she was bi. And that's when I came out for the first time. I did feel a bit bad though because I hadn't come out to my best friend, who I just so happened to have a serious crush on. I told her at a sleepover a few days later. She came out as pan. I didn't know what it was at the time, but after researching I realized I had always been pansexual without knowing there was a word for it. I came out over wattpad in a series of flash published chapters. It was also place I considered a safe place to talk about my depression.

Some people weren't as supportive as others. I got several people who cyber bullied me and blackmailed me. They started playing a game to get me to kill myself. That problem was resolved, but I still cut severely for the weeks following. I'm better now.

I'm not sure how it happened, but one day I told X I liked them. They said they liked me too, thank gosh, but I know at this point it was more than that. I love X. I told X I loved them and now, we are happily in love, dating.

A few weeks after, (in this time I had come out to my mom and brother.) even though I had X, I felt like no one really cared. X couldn't really love me. They probably just wanted to go back to being friends I thought. And with a lot of mental battles happening and memories of the cyberbullies, I decided I wanted to kill myself, I tried that night. I finally decided to slit my wrist and end it all. I messaged X to tell her goodbye, but she somehow managed to convince me out of it.

Things were still rough for a while after, but they improved, I came out to my dad, X and I kissed for the first time, I don't think about death as much. I realized I was agender, after one of my friends came out as transgender, and X also came out as agender (that's why I haven't said he/she got X)

Things are finally starting to work out and it's all thanks to X. I am madly in love with X and want nothing more than to grow old with them, and for once I feel supported.