By

~

I've always known that I was something other than straight.

It started when I was ten, and I first started seeing girls as attractive. I'd never seen one as a love interest, though. I always thought they were pretty and fun people to be with. Then a few years later, I got my first boyfriend. He was nice to me, and everyone said that we were a great couple. I actually was in love with him.

But about seven months into our relationship, I just started... Not feeling right is the easiest way to put it. I felt less romantically interested in him, and that's when I realized I didn't feel right dating him.

And naturally, a year later, he broke up with me. It was all because he thought I had stopped loving him. Untrue. I still loved him, but I didn't feel right about us as lovers. I figured we were better off as friends. Still, lots of us would cry at a breakup, right? Because that's exactly what I did.

Then a year later, I kissed one of my good friends, who was a girl. Not on the mouth, on the cheek, but I still kissed her. She didn't mind it, in fact she did the same thing back.

That's when I realized I wasn't straight.

I tried to push the thought to the back of my head, being the procrastinator I am. But it popped up, and one day I finally said to another friend, "You know, I think I like boys AND girls." So I began labeling myself as bi.

Then I met someone who was agender. Let's call them Jay. Jay was super nice, they would always talk to me, and I eventually felt like I had a crush on them. So I knew I wasn't bi then. I figured out that I was pan.

And then, inconveniently, Jay moved away, and I met a new girl. Let's call her E. She was a great friend when I first met her, all sweet and innocent and cheerful. A couple weeks later (basically now) I figured out that I was crushing on her.

Surprisingly, though, the whole time I rarely got sexual attraction to them. Let's be honest. Sometimes I did, but very rarely and in short bursts. That's how I figured out I was grey-ace.

So here I am now, finally content with who I am (sort of) with great friends who support me.