By

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I began questioning when I was in the 7th grade. I was 12 and trying to understand how society worked. Back then, I only knew of straight, gay, and bisexual. I didn't know about anything else outside of those boxes.

For years, I thought I was bisexual with a slight preference for girls. Personally, girls were a bit more aesthetically pleasing to the eye than guys. However, both were still attractive.

Aesthetically, at least.

I can tell that a guy is handsome like one can tell that a puppy is adorable. I can tell that a girl is cute like one can tell that a painting is beautiful. However, no one wants to date an adorable puppy. No one wants to sleep with a beautiful painting.

Then, years later, it clicked with me. Suddenly, I understood why the term bisexual never fit me right. All this time, I've been misinterpreting aesthetic attraction for something else. All this time, I was obsessed with figuring out whether I liked boys and girls, when it actuality, I like neither.

All the 'crushes' I've had in the past were not the kind of crushes that everyone else had. They were squishes - basically friend crushes. In all honesty, I never wanted to date any of my 'crushes.' I never wanted to kiss any of them. I never got jealous if any of my 'crushes' liked someone else or if they had a significant other. I didn't care if they had a significant other, so long as I could continue being their friend. I was never anxious around my 'crushes' like everyone else was. I didn't get butterflies souring my stomach. I didn't feel a spark whenever I brushed past my 'crush'. I didn't get why so many people were crazy over their crushes, nor did I experience any symptoms of being lovesick. I love reading romance novels and watching romantic TV shows and animes, but I will never understand them completely.

All this time, I thought a crush equaled a person you really wanted to befriend.

Wow.

As it turns out, I'm aromantic asexual. Aromantic asexual. Aro ace for short. It means I feel no romantic and sexual attraction for any gender and anyone. Being aro ace fits me better than bi. It fits me way better. It feels comfortable. Very comfortable.

Some people will tell me that my sexuality isn't valid. Some will tell me it doesn't make me human. Some will tell me that I need to wait for the right one, maybe the right one will magically appear before me and 'cure' me.

"You'll want to get married someday."

Me: Sure I will. I'd marry solely for the dress and attention. Oh, and cake! Can't forget the cake.

"So, like, you're into plants and animals? If so, what kind of plants do you prefer?"

Me: Stop. Just stop.

"What if you find the one?"

Me: Sexuality is fluid. It's okay to question again and again. If I end up 'finding the one,' that's okay. A person might think that they're bisexual one day, but they might realize they're actually gay the next. Right now, I identify as aromantic asexual. Now is what's important.

"You can clone yourself?"

Me: Yes. I have tons of clones all hiding in my bedroom.

"Being in love and having sex is what makes you human."

Me: I guess I'm a goddess then.

"Oh my God, that person is SO hot! You think they're hot too, right? You have to, they're just SUPER DUPER hot!"

Me: wat

"How can you not love? Are you heartless?"

Me: I can love. There are different types of love in the world, not just romantic. I can love my friends, my family, my imaginary goldfish, etc.

"Are you straight?"

Me: I'm as straight as an aro.

Thank you for reading my story. Make sure to spread the love!