By

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It was the beginning of my eighth grade year when I started to develop into my "womanly body". Chest size, hips widening, etc. Before, no one ever really noticed me in a sexual way, so when boys started telling me they liked me, it was completely overwhelming. Over time, I made close friends (who all happen to be boys, might I add). At that time, two of my closest friends confessed to me. For me, the strangest part of it all was that I found myself not interested at all. I didn't like boys or girls and never dated anyone before. I wasn't attracted to anyone like the other kids. I thought I was simply and utterly, broken. I tried to have a crush, but no matter what, I just wasn't sexually attracted to anyone. I didn't know what to identify as when people asked me about my sexuality. The next couple months were miserable in my home and I found myself in a horrific depression. I wouldn't eat and barely slept. The only person who was there for me was my best friend of fourteen years. I felt myself develop unwanted feelings towards her. I didn't want to scare her away since she's obviously straight and I was confused, so I never said anything. She made me happy behind belief and helped me back on my feet. She was the only person who could make me truly laugh when I was at my worst. She would make delicious dishes for me and physically walk them over to my house and wait until I finished the whole thing. She really worried and cared for me. Who wouldn't fall in love with someone like that? When I found out she had a boyfriend later on, I was completely heartbroken. My personality completely changed and I became antisocial and pessimistic. I realized I was never in love with her and I just simply loved her as my best friend. I mistook platonic feelings for romance. Today, I still do not have feelings for either sex. I'm not like the others. I feel broken.