By

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Well, I'm a lesbian. It started about a year ago, when I had a crush on this girl. Let's call her S. I thought she was adorable, and smart. I kept thinking about her, and telling myself that it couldn't be true. I didn't have a crush on this girl, I thought. I kept refusing the thought that I liked her. Then my love for her went away, and then I got a boyfriend around the time that my best friend MI broke up with her boyfriend, J, to become a lesbian. I supported her in every way.

Let's call this new boyfriend of mine M. I loved him, and realized what a funny person he was. But later on I found out that M was not an extremely nice person. Calling me names, taking advantage of my gullibility, tempting me to do things I shouldn't. My parents told me he was not meant for me, that he was only thinking about things he shouldn't be. I finally realized all of this. And then I broke up with him, with the help of my good friend, A. I was sad about it for a while, but I got over it. Then I started talking with my friends a lot more (who are mostly lesbians) and my friend A (who is gay) who helped me break up with M, then and realized that I am bisexual. I liked girls and boys. It was the first time that I had told my friends. and the first person who I told, that I am bisexual, was my stepfather. He told me that I should tell my Mom, too. So I did, and she accepted it.

And only about a month ago had I told my father. He supported me as well. Then I got another boyfriend, J. It turned out that he was MIs ex boyfriend, and had a crush on me. MI tried to hook us up. So I gave him a chance. I liked him a lot. I told him that I was bisexual, too. And he was fine with it.

But then I started getting different feelings when around girls, and felt that even though I was bisexual, I was leaning more on the liking girls side. Months later, I found out that I was unhappy in the relationship. I wanted to date girls. A few weeks ago I broke up with him with the help of MI. We are still friends, and I am still accepting the fact that I am now a lesbian.

I haven't told my parents that I am interested in girls yet, but I have told my younger sister, O, who I love very much. I have thought about being transgender when I am older, and I am still trying to find out who I am. But I take pride in my sexuality, and my friends support me. I am nervous in telling my parents, but I have a feeling they will accept me as I am. When I came out as bisexual to them, they said that they would support me. And I have faith in them now that they will accept who I am more than ever. Now I've found out that I still have a crush on S, and I'm going to do what I can to get her attention. But even if I can't get her to love me, even if she is straight, I know I'll find a girl out there somewhere, some day. Everyone has someone they love. Someone they cherish. And I know that maybe I won't find that person right away, I will find them eventually. And I won't stop looking for them.

This goes for everyone. Gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. At one time or another, you will have someone you love. And that person may or may not feel the same way. But if that person doesn't feel the same way, you'll find someone who cherishes you and loves you, just as much as you love them. It may not be right away. But it will happen.

So take pride in your sexuality, embrace who you are, cherish the things you love. Because they are going to be with you for quite a while. And that's a good thing, right?

~~~~Emma Rose