By

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Hello, I am Ash. At the time this story takes place, I identified as bisexual. But now at the time of me writing this, I identify as pansexual.

So, allow me to begin the story of how I came out (as bisexual) to my mom, felt really good for a minute, then got shoved back inside that closet.

It was in the car. We were on our way home from dropping my friend and her mom off at their house and we were driving home. I was sitting in the back and my mom in the front.

I'll spare you the juicy details of how we got onto the subject in the first place, but it all started out with me saying stuff about a girl who I don't physically see anymore.

ANYWAYS.

My mom said, "Why? Are you gay?" Now, she might've been a little tipsy because the way she said "gay" made it sound like some sort of evolved thing from ebola.

Needless to say, I was offendes and I know my aunt would've been offended because she's happily married with her wife!

Okay, so my mom asks if I'm gay and here's where I have a choice: Say yes and come out, or say no ans stay in the closet.

Now, earlier that day my friend was consistently pestering me to come out because my parents deserved to know and blah blah blah.

So I thought, "Heyy why not?"

So I answered, "A little bit." My mon looked at me.

"A little bit gay?"

And I said, "I'm a little bit gay."

From then on, she proceeded to tell me how I'm not gay and I'm just confused and a hormonal teenager. I'm too young and I don't know what I want even though I think I do.

Ha-ha

BS

I wasn't having any of that shit so I straightened my posture and said, "Do not tell me I am too young." She looked at me again and then started pulling the hormones crap on me.

We bickered back and forth for awhile before I eventually gave up and stopped talking.

So, here my mother (this is the same one who raised me saying I could tell her anything and that I could trust her no matter what) is telling me that I'm not bisexual? Well I mean I'm not I'm pansexual but THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

Anyways, I know who I am. I am not confused. I am not hormonal. I am not too young. I am Pansexual. I was wrong to think I could so easily come out and tell my parents that that's a part of who I am.

So for a few minutes, I walked out of the closet waving the flag of pink, purple, and plue in the air, ready to tell my mom who I am. But then, she ripped the flag out of my hand and shoved me right back inside that damned closet. I pushed against her, oh I did. But eventually, I just got tired and gave up.

So yes, for the moment I am stuck back inside that dark lonely closet thanks to my mom. But maybe, JUST MAYBE, someday she'll let me come out.