By

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Hi, I'm Jen. I'm obsessed with gay ships because I mean, hayyyy.

I first started out in third grade with being absolutely heart eyes for guys. I'd been feeling love for just guys until 6th grade. I met people that had shown me different parts of me I had just figured out about myself and it did change me a lot, which I'm so happy about.

They had shown me different bands to love, different You Tubers..ect. One of them being Matthew Lush which had sparked my love for gay people since I had watched him and his boyfriends video, The Naked Challenge.

But Youtube didn't have a complete toll on me until seventh grade, which was when I met another friend. She was claimed bisexual and so, she asked me about myself.

I had never thought about what I liked or what gender I was fond of, so I just shrugged. I'd been nervous about presenting the whole year so I had no time.

By eighth grade, that friend had left. And I was alone since both of my best friends had went to different schools, I was by myself in a brand new grade, which is when I got my very first girlfriend. Yes, I had a friend from sixth grade but she wasn't that close until eighth, which we'll get to in a bit.

Now, I couldn't say it was love at first sight, but it was the first time I had kissed a girl. And to be honest, no sparks flew through my body like how the movies explained or anything, we kissed a lot, actually. But nothing too, extreme. We had broken up three times and gotten together twice, which left us with a break up.

The girlfriend I had, became friends with a girl who had teamed up together 10 days before my birthday and slapped me with horrid texts.

Break ups are hard and they'll shove your life into a new aspect. I personally started to notice many You Tubers beginning to come out, as gay, bisexual, ect. So I started to think, was that relationship I had, was it something I would like with someone else?

I had no idea, but I was curious. I began imagining, what would it be like to be with a girl you truly love? I started to think again, did it even matter? I thought to myself and thought again, finally noticing.. I'd actually be fine with dating any gender. I was confused at first because it gave me lots of time to think about different situations of if I was dating someone with different sexualities and it only made me smile.

I felt like my heart could beat for a boy, girl, transgender, no gender, Bigender, ect. I knew I'd be able to love any gender.

Me, being myself. I decided to jokingly test myself. I grabbed an online test and took it, 60% Bisexual, 0% Heterosexual.

I was slightly underwhelmed when I got 10% Pansexual.

Well hey, a quiz can't tell you everything, but you know what can? Your heart. You follow your hearts path and that will give you the path that you need to be able to show your true colors.

I'm still questioning between being bisexual and pansexual, it's all confusing. My hearts stopping between a split path and its confused, but my, my. Don't worry, I'll find my way. My hearts beating, and it's showing colors I can't quite see yet, but I will, I know it. Trust me, my next step would be coming out after finding my colors, it's hard but then again, your hearts the way to follow. You can be scared, you can be nervous, but just know, being yourself is something you'll never outgrow. And if the people that love you can't accept that, then they are not true family.

Family can be anyone from blood related to people online. And if you need someone, people are everywhere for you. Be confident and prideful.