By

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Hi. My name is Skylar and I thought I was straight and cis for the longest time. I identified as female, but I never liked some of the stereotypical girl things. When I was little, Barbies and dolls always creeped me out, but I loved playing with action figures and plushies. Another thing is that I'm not big on makeup and prefer pants to dresses or skirts. There's been times when I feel like I have a gay dude inside me and I honestly don't care if you call me dude, bro, or what pronouns you use with me, so I'd say that makes me genderfluid. It was cool to know that there's more genders than male or female/being transgender after looking more into the aspects of being LGBT+.

As far as sexuality, the majority of my crushes were guys. Yeah, I had a few crushes on girls, but they weren't as intense, so I figured if I ignored them, they'd go away. Anyways, I heard about being asexual before, but I didn't think that term applied to me, since I guessed it meant you didn't have any crushes at all. I was supportive of LGBTQ, but really homophobic toward myself, if that makes sense. Though after realizing I liked someone who was LGBT and being told it was wrong, I started feeling conflicted for a while. Then I discovered Adam Lambert, who helped me accept the fact that I am panromantic ace and not to worry about what other people think. Finding LGBT+ youtubers like blondewolf2 helped loads too. When it comes to coming out, I like to avoid drama, so I've only chosen to tell those I know will understand and not judge.

While I've never had any experience with bullying/depression/self-harm, I have friends that have, so I can understand how it feels, even if it's never happened to me. My message to anyone struggling with these things is that you are not alone and there is always help out there. Someone who understands will always be willing to listen and help, so hang in there, don't let the bullies win or get you down. Always keep being yourself and the people who really care will accept and love you the way you are.