《LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 2》Accepting Myself
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By
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Hi. My name is Charlie, and I wanted to share my experience with you guys. I am a sophomore in high school, 15 years old, and a proud bisexual. This I found out the summer after my 7th grade year, and I was terrified of what people would think. I came out to a few close friends in 8th and 9th grade, then basically just decided I didn't care what people thought of me and told everyone, except my parents. Though they won't care either way, as they are very supportive.
Anyways, what this is really about is my recent realization. I was born a female, and never considered myself anything but until a few months ago.
I'm not sure what triggered it, but I found myself thinking about how much being a guy appealed to me. Looking back on it, I always thought about things guys did, and I was never really the girly girl type. Dresses and such repulse me.
But I found a video online that helped me figure things out. It said that when you question whether you are transgender or not, yu most likely are. I also fit under many of the symptoms, such as disliking my body image. I always hated my boobs, but thought I wanted them to be bigger since they were on the small side. Now I realize that I hate them altogether.
I remember when I first came to this realization, it was the middle of the night. I started crying, and couldn't stop for several hours. I didn't want to be different. I wanted to want to be a girl, but no matter how hard I tried in the next few weeks to fit in- push up bras, dresses, makeup, frilly clothes, I just felt more and more depressed.
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I finally came terms to it one day when I stood in front of the mirror, all dolled up in a dress and heels to go out. I broke down, again, and canceled. I understood that I would never be happy being someone I wasn't, and had to just be myself. And I do my best to do that every day.
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