By

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In case you couldn't tell by my username, I am l e s b i a n. And, for a while, I definitely had NO clue.

Around Grade 7, my friends created something. It was a bet. This 'bet' stated that I would turn gay. Besides the fact that you can't "turn gay", I saw this as a harmless little joke.

But it went on, day after day. "Are you sure you're straight?" became the norm for me. I didn't like it, but I would never say, "I am." I would let it slide, because, I'm not sure. It just felt right to me.

I questioned my sexuality for a long time. At one point in my questioning stage, I identified as pancurious for about three weeks. I came out to a group of friends, and of course they accepted me for who I thought I was.

I never felt it though. Days would go by until I realized: boys are unattractive to me. Period.

One day, I looked into the bathroom mirror. I stared at myself for a while. "I'm lesbian," I said to myself in the mirror. And I knew it was true. It explained a lot about myself, too.

I didn't know what my friends were going to think after I told them I was gay. There were days when I would stay up all night, things like, "What if they don't believe me?" swarming in my mind. I eventually said, "Screw it. I have NOTHING to prove. I am lesbian. It doesn't matter if they believe me or not. I am. I am lesbian.

One day, I just did it. I came out to the same group of friends, and more. My mom, my grandma, and even my little brother, who was shocked at the news. He's only 10.

I was talking on the phone with my friend, who we will call L. L was acting quite strange. Then, she blurted out one of the things I feared the most.

"Hey, you're not even lesbian you know. I used to be just like you. I had a girlfriend once, and until I felt a man's touch, I thought I was full lesbian. You've never even had a girlfriend, so you don't know. You have no experience, and I do. You listen to me, don't come back to me saying you like D I'm gonna say I told you so. YOU ARE CONFUSED."

I sat there, listening to every single word she was saying. I couldn't believe it. My best friend since Grade 2 was calling me confused. But there was more to come. I have a homosexual guy friend, who we'll call B.

"Oh, and B? He gay. You KNOW he gay."

She was being dead stereotypical. After quickly saying, "I gotta go," I hung up. B found out about the whole thing. L and B got into a huge argument about me, him, and her the very next day in some text messages.

After L had ignored every one of my texts for a week, I tried to get her to apologise to me on Facebook. It was horrible. She claimed that she was "entitled to her own opinion," and some nasty swears.

Some time after that, she had a fight with my trans FTM friend about his gender. I was livid.

B tried to clear everything up in one little happy Facebook post. Unfortunately, she was already detached from us completely.

I am glad she's gone, actually. In her exact words, "I've got the friends I NEED." Obviously she wasn't a real friend in the first place, and this may have been my wakeup call. As for B, he completely agrees.