By

~

HOOOOOOOOOOI EVERYONE!!!! Nice to talk to ya again! So it's been quite a month or two since the last time I put in a story for this book XD and I'll tell you now, it's been a very interesting time period. Lemme start now. So of course, still haven't come out to my family nor a church friends, don't think I will anytime soon. And I still have my wonderfully accepting friends, and I'm doing really good, a bit sad every few days but hey i get over it! BUT BOI OH BOI THERES SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!! Ok so let's start from the beginning. For one thing, I had a girl I had really fallen for, and in my heart I had really wanted her to feel the same way (that's normal, isn't it?) and we had always been talking and she told me so much about her that I had never known before and my love and respect for her only got bigger and higher. So I kept my feelings in and tried to get her off my mind by "liking" other people, which didn't last very long. In that time period I have liked 2 girls and a guy, which I didn't like all of them at the same time, just to clarify :->. All three rejected me, which I wasn't really surprised about because HEY, I'm just that ugly @! But anyways, so at the end of the day, it always came back to that one girl I mentioned at the beginning(OH and she's also bi btw). And when there was a time she was in her feelings and she was on to me so I was just like "OUT WITH IT" and I told her how I had felt about her for a few months, since May I believe. And that's where it kinda went downhill. We went from talking everyday at and after school to barely talking in person. And I knew it was because she felt awkward and she told me she felt awkward herself but it just hurt that I had to mess up everything we had going because of foolish feelings and I just stopped trying after that point. We barely talk now, but I'm glad we had a good thing going, and I still consider her a good friend of mine. OK SECOND STORY! So the boy that I had liked, he happened to move in. IN THE APARTMENT UNDER MINE! I said wth is this? But anyways with that being said i took the opportunity and we acted childish and all that, but then one thing he said killed everything. We had been talking on the bus, and of course, sexuality was the topic. And so that's when he said "When you guys get to Highschool you'll be normal. Right now you're just confused about your lives."

That

My

Dear

Friends

Is what got me very VERY irritated. I said "You can't just say someone's not normal because of their sexuality."

That's when he just had to say "But the Bible said-"

I CUT HIM OFF SAYING "Well right now I'm not even sure about my religion so." And I had really been confused at the time about my religion because I kept thinking, does the words of the Bible really make sense. Maybe it was because of the way my pastors had been preaching it, but that just made me wonder if Christianity was really the religion for me. But now I'm kinda okay with it, because I still believe there's God. Well... kinda. Anyways, so with the boy saying that and my response, he came back saying "Op well I can't help you with that buddy." That pissed me right tf off. And when I tried confronting him about it he said "SEE THIS IS WHY I RATHER BE BY MYSELF! NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND ME" and all that and I'm just like "What are you playing victim for?" Like yes you are very well entitled to your thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, but sometimes you need to learn how to keep them to yourself if you know it's going to trigger someone if not a group of them. So i lost all liking for him, romantically and a lot platonically. But just goes to show that homophobia can be in people all ages, which isn't really that surprising. But anyways, other than that, I learned that I have actually been bi since I was 7 or 8 years old, and I've always been a tomboy but it's really coming out now, and I really want someone to love and love me, and a lot of stuff. And I have a funny question. So if you have parents like mine, they have a tendency to believe you're messing with every guy you come into contact with. Now my dad is that dad that always gives the talk about staying away from boys, keep up with your schoolwork, blah blah. But it's like I always have an urge to say "IM GAY SO WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING ME NOT TO MESS AROUND WITH GUYS IF I DONT EVEN WANT TO?!" But of course, I only got my head out the closet, so that day hasn't come yet.

XDDDDDDDD

I talk so much goodness gracious! But yes my good chaps, this is what has happened over the course of these two months. And I can say I'm pretty happy with who I am.

Thanks for reading ^v^, hope to chat again soon!