By

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Hello! I guess first I spill the labels. I identify as panromantic gray-asexual demiboy.

First of all in 4th grade I developed a crush on someone of the same gender-let's call her Bean. She had dark brown hair and her skin was littered with gorgeous freckles. She was beautiful, really. I first assumed my attraction to her was just me feeling close to her as a friend. I hadn't even heard of people liking people from the same gender when I was ten so it was unheard of that I thought I was LGBT. Unfortunately, in the Summer she and her family moved away to Maine. And I went into the 5th grade and moved on without even knowing really. Now going into the fifth grade I now had knowledge of gay and straight people. But not anything else. I also knew of trans people-but didn't think anything of that YET. That's when I devolved a crush on another girl we'll call Skylar. She was a super athletic girl and was super funny and such. I instantly fell for her-when I finally realized this I internally panicked. Didn't that mean I was gay? What about all the male crushes I had had before? So I popped the news to my friends the next day giving no thought to it. A year passed and I was happy with this label-until I got another crush on a boy. Panicking I hopped on the trusty Internet and looked up my emotions-after some solid research I came to the conclusion of bisexual. Buuut, that night I watched a small documentary about a trans girl and instantly fell into a state of doom. I began searching up my gender situation and found the label of gender fluid. I was happy with this for MONTHS, even coming out to a few close friends. Until I realized for the past three months I had never felt feminine once. Another year later of research I also found the label of panromantic and asexual. So for the few past years of my life I just assumed sexual attraction was a joke-until I found the label. I was finally satisfied with my sexuality and romantic attraction. But that's when my first cases of gender dysphoria came in. I cried myself to sleep often- I was plain miserable. Until I came across the wonderful label of demigender. I began to look into it, getting more and more excited as I found the label of demiboy-the term means that I'm not fully connected to being male, so technically I'm half boy half agender, I use they/them/he/him pronouns. My heart soared and I knew I had finally found myself.

Now the hard part is telling the friend's who have known me as gender fluid-I've already told them and are slowly starting to use my pronouns. I feel...better. Sometimes I still struggle with the thoughts of people who have bullied me because they overheard/I told them my identity. But it's getting better and soon enough I'll be able to tell my whole family once I'm

That's my story! Thank you for reading all of you! Get better, gender dysphoria sucks, it is probably one of the worst feelings. But soon enough you'll fine the label for you. Just keep looking, don't let the people who oppress you pull you down-just wait until you can get somewhere better.