By

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It was nearing the end of 6th grade and I started to realize that I started having a crush on one of my best friends, let's name her Bella. I realized I looked at her differently, at first I shrugged it off and said, she's just a friend. But no, as summer came I became more sure of my feelings and they just grew and grew and grew. I tried to hide them at first, at first I didn't know what was happening and then I started questioning my sexuality.

A little while passed, a couple months it was still summer and I let it slip to one of my friends who I'll call Jenny. We always joke around because I have two garages one in my backyard and my friends always say "That's where Brooke keeps her dead bodies." My friend Jenny told me that I'll have multiple husbands and I'll kill them and stuff them in my second garage.

I then said "Yep, I'll have multiple husbands and wives." She then kinda freaked out after that and asked me if there was something I hadn't told her. I told her that I honestly didn't know what I was feeling and she told me that Bella could ask me some questions to help me out and she did it for Jenny. Bella asked me some questions and she told me that I wasn't straight but she didn't know what I was. I took on the term bisexual but I could also be pansexual I don't know.

A couple months later now in 7th grade I told one of my friends let's call her Ella about my crush on Bella. She and Bella have been friends for a long time, before I met either of them which we had met in choir during 6th grade. From then on I told a couple more friends because it was eating me up keeping it to myself and I couldn't tell Bella. Skip another 1-2 months and Bella messaged me wanting to do this thing where we each tell each other a deep secret. She told me something really personal that I will not say here and I realized that compared to hers the secret I picked was lame so I took a dive in the deep end and confessed that I had a crush on her. We had already started 7th grade by the time I told Ella and it was a school night the time I told Bella. The next day at school I was nervous for 3rd period because me and Bella had gotten into the same advanced choir and I sat near her during choir and right after choir we had lunch and I sat next to her during lunch every day. It felt pretty awkward, I was glad she didn't bring it up but I also weirdly felt hurt too. It's been a while after that now, I still have those feelings for her and I don't think there are going away anytime soon. By now all my friends know of course. We are not a thing and I don't think we will ever be but at least we are still friends. That's all I can ask for. At least she didn't push me away after finding out. At least we can still be friends.