Sorry for the mistakes.

Xander's Pov

Fuck, what is happening? I don't give a damn about anyone, its not the first time I have crushed someone, then why the hell I'm feeling guilty.

I don't want to feel anything, but still my mind is reminding all the evil deeds I did.

The fuck is happening?

I always thought that Sia is the girl but I was wrong, so wrong. I never thought or care to learn all the things in details. I was so blind in my revenge that I forgot what I'm doing?

I don't know what I'm feeling, there are so many emotions mixed up with each other. I haven't realised till yesterday that how much of an evil person I'm?

She loved me with her everything, I remember how she use to pamper me like I'm her whole world, how she use to kiss my forehead every night before sleeping, how she get happy in small things.

What am I even thinking?

I ruined her completely for that sick revenge of mine. I took her innocent and pure soul and left her with nothing.

Now she don't laugh, forget about laughing she don't even smile.

I can't even say sorry, heck how can I say sorry? My sorry won't make any difference to her and what she has gone through

How will I make all this correct?

Till yesterday, I didn't realise that how much I need her in my life.

I didn't went to my penthouse since we came back from India,

My head is so heavy with all the information I've got, I can't describe in words that how I'm feeling.

The car honk brings me out of my thoughts and I looked around to see that people were clicking pictures of mine.

Fortunately, I was near to Kyle's house which helps me escaping from the paparazzi.

Entering into Kyle's house, I found no one in the living area, however I heard some voices from the kitchen.

Straight way entering into the Kitchen, I saw Kyle having sex with some girl on the kitchen counter.

" Kyle " I said and both of them stopped what they are doing

" X? " He asked raising his brows and then turned back to the girl

I nodded

" Leave, I'll call you later " Kyle said to the girl who looked frustrated

" But let-" she tried to speak but got interrupted

" Didn't you heard what I said " Kyle said sternly

" X, Lemme just put on some trouser" Kyle said while I came back in the living area and started pacing around

" What did you fucked up? " Kyle asked directly

He knows me way too well!

" I-I I've...." I tried to say but words were just not coming out

" Seems like your wife do have an affect on you, you're fumbling like her" Kyle said

On the mention of wife, I looked up to see Kyle and before I could say another word

" X, did you killed Sia? " He asked seriously

" I told you, I told you that its enough but you didn't listen. See now what we are gonna do, Man " he further added

" It wasn't her " I said looking down

" Huh? What are you saying? " He asked confusedly

I told him whatever happened in India, he was shocked and then looked towards me

" I- oh god! Fuck! " He said shocked with all the information I gave her

" I was so blind in my revenge that I forgot how evil I'm?" I said looking down

" God, I still can't believe " he said still shocked

" Did you told anything to Cole?? " He further asked after a minute or two

" No, what wil I say to him?? He tried to stop me so many times but I didn't listen, Fuck no. I can't tell him " I said

" X, you are going to tell Cole. This is not the time to make more wrong decision " he said and texted Cole to come over

" How did you've got the wrong information? " He asked

" I have no idea, and top of all I'm feeling guilty, guiltiest if possible! Wh " I said lowly

No one spoke anything for few minutes, Kyle was sitting on the couch while I was just pacing around the whole room to calm myself down.

" Yo man, what was so urgent? " Cole said coming closer, I looked towards Kyle but he ignored me

Kyle told each and everything to Cole, while I was still standing not knowing what to do

I looked at Cole, he was also shocked

Obviously!

" Cole, say something? " I asked him rubbing my eyebrows

" What should I say? I should have stopped you but I didn't. We all were part of this " Cole said

"Oh yeah" I mumbled and started walking faster

" X, sit down first. Everything's going to be fi-" Kyle said but I didn't let him complete the word 'fine'

" No, nothing's gonna be fine. Not now, not ever. I need some peace and I'm not getting any because I'm feeling guilty when I don't want to. I ruined her completely " I said pacing around the living room

" You know she don't react on anything, she didn't even reacted a bit when I told her about her father. Fuck, she always wanted to have a father, and when she got the chance to meet him she was just standing there like it doesn't even matter. " I yelled

" I-I found her shivering and screaming few times during the sleep, she can't sleep because of that, nothing's gonna be fine, nothing " I said remembering the nights when I found her shivering in fear

" This is all because of me? What have I done? Why the hell it is bothering me? " I said looking here and there not knowing what to do

" X, X calm down. Drink water first " Cole said coming by my side

" I don't want water " I said making that glass away

" I left her with nothing when all she wanted was someone who can love her. I called her all the cheap names. You know she is giving me rent for living in that penthouse, she said that she don't want my help "

" I left her just like her father left, Her mom was pregnant when her father left her, and she was also pregnant when I left her " I said and then realisation hit me

Pregnant, she was pregnant. I knew very well that she was pregnant with my baby but still I called names to my baby and Sia

" Cole, Cole, you said that when she saved you from the accident she was pregnant right? " I asked Cole exasperatedly and he nodded

" God, my baby " I said closing my eyes

" X, sit down first " Cole said

" No, I'm ok " I said but they both were stubborn enough to make me sit

I looked at my friends and I realised that I only told them to make fun of Sia.

I'm gonna be sick thinking of all the deeds I've done

" I- uh I need to go" I said and started standing

" You aren't going anywhere, drink water first " Kyle said sternly

" X, I need to ask you something, Do you Love her? " Cole asked with some hesitation

Love? I never thought about that, I was so busy taking my shitty revenge. Although I hated when she ignores me and I tried every possible way to get some reaction from her.

I wanted her attention so much that when she came back after a year and half, A part of me always wanted to talk to her but I never talked instead I use to humiliate her to get some reaction.

" What the hell Cole, no. why are you asking?" I said defensively

" Fine, no need to be all defensive " He said

I just sit at Kyle's house for I don't know how long, No one said anything just the three of us sitting without talking

I closed my eyes and rested my back on the couch. I can't just sit back like this without repenting my sins.

" Guys I'm going as I'm changing my house " I informed them

" What but why? " Kyle asked

" I'm not able to breathe inside the house knowing that this is the same place where I abused her mentally. I don't know how she managed to stay there with all those memories" I said

" I needed to get her out of that place as soon as I can, that's why " I said

" Didn't she said anything? Like any questions? " Cole asked

" She don't ask questions now " I smiled sadly remembering how she used to ask so many questions.

" So, what did you thought? " Kyle asked

" Nothing, nothing at all. I'm just going to remove this guilt word from my mind and if that demands me to repent and ask for forgiveness, then I'm going to do that " I said and left

I need peace

-----------------------

I went back to my penthouse to see Sia all ready with her two bags

"You're a gold digger" my words echoed in my mind

" Umm Ready? " I asked

" Yes, Sir " she replied without any emotion

It hurts to see her calling me Sir, but I was the only one who asked her to

I just nodded looking at other direction.

The guilt is killing me, from the corner of my eyes I looked at her, she was looking at nowhere in particular with a straight face devoid of emotion.

She has became like a robot and I am the one who made her like this.

Finally we reached the villa which is situated at the uptown of Houston. The villa have its own private lake. Its the perfect combination of modernization and nature.

" Its here " I said

The Villa

-----------------------

Sia's outfit

Xander's outfit

We went inside the villa, I turned towards her she was looking nowhere in particular

" umm you are sharing room with me " I said

I know, I could have asked her to stay wherever she wants but I don't want her to be away from her.

" Come I'll show you " I said and went to the stairs

" Umm this is the room, you don't need to do anything. Take rest and I'll send someone to ar-" I said and looked back to see her already looking at me.

I was about to look away but my gaze fell on her hands, her hand was bleeding so much.

" Fuck, How did this happen? " I asked trying to hold her hands but she didn't let me.

Blood was oozing out so much that I got tensed, but what scared me more was that she isn't even trying to stop the bleeding. It looked like her hand was numb and she couldn't feel anything.

Little did I know not her hand, her heart is numb

" We-we need to stop the bleeding" I said again trying to hold her but she again backed away

" Ok I won't touch your hands, lemme just grab the first aid and you yourself can do the dressing " I said trying to make her understand

" I don't need dressing, I'm fine. The bleeding will stop " she said

" Sia please, its bleeding so much and it must be pai-" I said but she interrupted me

" Its bitch for you, and no its not paining " she said in a cold voice and started walking away

This is it!

Quickly grabbing the first aid box, I pulled her arms and made her sit forcefully

" Don't move " I said but she was so adamant

" Sir, I don't need any band aid " she said but I went deaf ear

" Leave me " she said again and started standing up but I was fast enough to stop her.

Sitting on the bed, I put my one leg on her in a way that she can't stand up and With my both hands I wrapped her. She was totally locked up but still she was trying to move.

" Don't move, I also don't want to hold you but you need band aid, so just sit quietly " I said looking at her hands

" Leave me this instant , Sir " she said

" If one more time you will move, then I promise you that we will be in the same position for the next 3 hours. I know you don't want to be anywhere near me, so just let me do this dressing and I'll not show my face to you for some hours " I said but she still didn't listen

Somehow, I cleaned the wound, the cut was deep, very deep

I didn't ask how she got this cut because no matter what she wouldn't tell me.

Seeing the cut I remembered the time when she called me crying and said that she had met with a serious accident. I came back from office only to see her crying while showing me her index finger saying " its paining, Xander"

There was no cut nothing, she somehow pierced a needle in her finger. That time I scolded her because of being such a spoilt dramatic girl. But today I realised that she wasn't being dramatic instead she wanted someone to take care of her and I never did.

And now she is like this!

I don't even know who this girl is, what have I done.

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Longest Chapter till now