The conversation with Julian was long and tearful. As it turned out afterwards, it was also long overdue. Repressed feelings and emotions, accusatory words and apologies. There was a storm in the air and the storm swept over us. We talked it out, laid all the cards on the table. I told him about Vegas, but left out the fact that I was now a married man. Only the infidelity I confessed to him and the storm grew to its full size. For officially we were not yet separated.

Julian's breach of trust weighed heavily. He made a decision without talking to me about it. Because he knew exactly that I would never have agreed to it. But this way, he presented me with a fait accompli and hoped that I would give in. But that was not the case. By now he is aware of his mistake, but my fling with Alec is unforgivable. On the way to my home I thought about Julian and how it should go on with us. Did I want it to go on? That he should be the man by my side?

I didn't make this decision rashly or out of my gut. I made it from the bottom of my heart. Before I faced Julian and the truth, I spoke at length with Raphael and Andrew. One statement Andrew made got me thinking.

"You must have seen something in Alec that made you want to marry him." I didn't have an answer. But I thought about it. Alec is so different from Julian. At least visually. Julian is shorter than me, he has brown eyes and brown hair. He always wears jeans and a polo shirt. In all the six years I've known him, I've never once seen him in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Alec, on the other hand, is tall, muscular. He has raven black hair and bright blue eyes. His fair skin is the complete opposite of Julian. His skin tone is naturally darker.

"Can you imagine a future with Julian?", asked Andrew, my heart taking over.

"No. Not anymore. Not like this", I answered honestly. And that's exactly what I told Julian. That I just didn't see a future for us anymore. I gave him a week to get his things out of my house. We had never officially moved in together. He kept his flat and right now I was never happier about it.

Because I didn't just put Julian out on the street without him knowing where he was going to spend the night. He could return to his own four walls. I could not have reconciled anything else with my conscience. But I didn't want him in my house any longer either.

Impatiently, I wait for Ragnor outside the courthouse. Today is the day of our divorce. Or actually, the day of the annulment of our Las Vegas marriage. Alec hasn't been in touch. And I haven't contacted him. What's the point? We have nothing to talk about. Our lawyers are handling all that. I want to get this meeting over with as soon as possible. And then everyone goes their separate ways.

"Hello Magnus", a voice sounds behind me and the hairs on my arms stand up instantly. I'm not sure if it's allowed when we talk to each other. But I can't think of any reason why we shouldn't.

"Hello, Alec", I say cheerfully and turn around. In doing so, I stumble a little and bounce my upper body against his. Our heads also meet and we both contort our faces painfully.

"Are you okay?", he asks worriedly and an image slips into my mind.

Alec holding his head with his face contorted in pain and me stroking his back reassuringly. Was that a memory? It must have been. Because until recently we didn't even know each other.

"Yes", I breathe. His bright blue eyes scrutinise me insistently. I have the feeling he wants to tell me something. But no word leaves his mouth. He remains silent.

"There you are Magnus. Shall we go inside? Oh hello. You're Alec aren't you? Ragnor Fell", this interrupts the silence between us. Still looking at me, Alec then releases his gaze from me.

"Alec Lightwood", he says, shaking the hand Ragnor holds out to him.

"I'll see you in the hearing room. Are you coming Magnus?" Nodding, I follow Ragnor and don't look back.

It feels strange when memories come flooding back. Of a night I remember absolutely nothing about. A bit like a deja-vu experience. And this reunion with Alec also has an insipid aftertaste.

With every step I climb, with every step I take, I come closer to my freedom. It is the first time that I enter a courthouse. And it's also the first time I've seen the inside of a courtroom. It is so different from watching movies on TV where the protagonist is convicted of murder. Or a victim gets justice over the sentence of her tormentor. The room is smaller than expected, the wooden panelling of the walls seems oppressive and the big eagle behind the judge's desk looks down on us sternly. So does the judge himself.

Judge Garroway has a few years of judging under his belt. His dark eyes look tired and his hair is already slightly greying. There is a slight pallor to his skin and he sounds very exhausted.

"Mr Lightwood. So you don't remember anything at all?", he asks me again.

"No. Only Elvis", I reply and his eyes form into narrow slits.

"But the video from your husband's lawyer is clear. They both said yes. Clearly", he says.

"Oh really? But that doesn't change the fact that I never wanted to get married. Sober, I'm sure I would have approached Mr Lightwood and pulled him into my bed. Oh most certainly even. But marry? Never", I say, upset. My voice is getting louder and louder and the fact that I'm standing up and resting my hands on the tabletop is only peripherally noticed. I look at Alec and spark angrily at him. All this fuss has been going on for far too long.

"No way would I get married", I press out. Pure sadness is on Alec's face, his eyes glint suspiciously and I wonder why he looks like this is the worst day of his life.

"Sit down Mr Lightwood. And hold your tongue", says Judge Garroway in a sharp tone.

"I now pronounce sentence. A marriage contracted in Las Vegas is legal. You both did not object to it within twenty-four hours. According to video evidence, you both said yes to each other. And if you ask my personal opinion, you look anything but unhappy. On the contrary. You look very much in love and downright hot for each other."

That may be all. But can't he get to the important point? Sighing, I cross my arms in front of my chest and wait for the redeeming words.

"And so I have decided to validate this marriage. On probation for twelve months. After this period you can decide whether you want a separation or not."