I empty my glass in one go. The spicy aroma of the whiskey tickles my tongue, spreads across my palate and throat, seeks its way down my oesophagus. Burning hot, exploding taste buds, the flavour of vanilla and cinnamon spreads and the softness of the roasted aromas, hot pepper and sweet almond create a comforting warmth. Lasciviously I let my tongue glide over my lips, tasting vanilla and cinnamon again. A growl from deep in my throat and Alec looks at me from dark eyes. Jaws tightly clenched and teeth gritted, we engage in an eye duel.

A flash in Alec's eyes, a loud clearing of his throat and the moment is over. He catapults me back onto the wooden seat of the chair I'm sitting on.

"I'm going to move in with you. But we should talk about some things", Alec says. His voice sounds soft again but still gives off an air of resonance and surrendering to our fate.

"About what? What do you want to know?", I ask, slightly puzzled by the sudden change in his gestures and timbre of voice. From defensive to accepting.

"Where will I sleep?" He gets straight to the point.

"In my bedroom."

"And where will you sleep?"

"On the sofa." I can already hear the cracking of my bones, feel the dull twinge in my back as I think of the next few nights on the sofa. There has to be another solution. Maybe the office after all?

"Why are you letting me have your bedroom?", asks Alec irritably. And rightly so. Because the way I behaved towards him, he certainly didn't expect it. I owe him an answer. I don't have one myself right now.

"I'll pay you rent. Tell me how much and I'll transfer it to you every month. I don't want to be a burden to you any longer than necessary." I shake my head vigorously.

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do Magnus. I want to. Just tell me what I can and can't do in your house. Are there rooms I shouldn't go into? Habits that bother you about a partner?", Surprised, I blink a few times and sort through his words.

"My office. It's full of books. It's a mess. I need this place as a retreat to work undisturbed. So you should keep quiet during the day" My sanctuary. My little protected oasis.

"No problem. I leave early and come back only in the evening. So you are free from any disturbance or distraction", he replies.

"Okay", I say in agreement and again we are silent. Silence. Always this silence between us. And lots of unspoken things, lots of questions and no answers.

"A flat share after all." Alec interrupts the silence and I roll my eyes, sighing.

"Yes. A flat share. Very well. That's the way it is now. Alec, I'm not thrilled about it either. But it's our mandated requirement and we have to comply. Ragnor made it abundantly clear to me yesterday that I behaved impossibly towards you. I wanted to apologise for that." I pause for a moment, waiting for a reaction from Alec. Nothing. Again the book is closed.

"We'll live together, get this year over with and then we'll each go our separate ways", I finish my little speech and completely unexpectedly Alec empties the glass in front of him in one go. He grimaces slightly in disgust. His nose wrinkles as he does so and he struggles for breath.

"Your first whiskey?", I ask, amused, and Alec nods.

"I hardly ever drink. Hence my crash with total memory loss in Vegas", he gives me an honest answer. Warmth spreads through my stomach. I try to ease the slightly tense mood between us.

"Well. It would also be a bit unusual if my husband, at the tender age of twenty-one, was already an alcoholic."

And abruptly the warmth in my stomach turns to an icy lump. How does Alec manage to evoke such a reaction from me with a single glance? The sparkle in his eyes that he held a moment ago has given way to an icy glare. Something about my words has angered him. His facial expression shows it clearly.

"You have no idea Magnus", he says quietly, but in an icy voice.

"Did I say something wrong?" I didn't mean to.

"No. Yes. But you couldn't have known that."

"Are you going to tell me?", I ask cautiously, but I think I already know the answer. Alec looks at his hands. They are on the tabletop and the thumb of his right hand is delicately stroking a fine scar on the back of his left hand. I look at the line, it is slightly curved, light pink and a little raised. It stands out clearly against his pale skin. A lasting memory.

There's a film playing in his head right now and I'm not sure I want to know the title. Because Alec looks sad. Very sad. His long black eyelashes glisten suspiciously, I'm sure he's crying.

I'm conflicted. Should I comfort him? Leave him alone? Should I say something? Would it be better to remain silent? Does he want comfort via a touch on the shoulder or a hug? Would he rather not have physical contact?

Alec takes the decision from me and never have I been happier than at this moment. For I have no idea what the appropriate response would have been.

Briefly he wipes his face with his hands and I see the trembling of his hands clearly. He rests his hands in his lap and looks at me. With the crooked smile that plays around the corner of his mouth, he looks insanely young and mischievous.

"It's going again." Far too quickly these words are spoken, I can barely understand them. But they clearly show that Alec doesn't want to talk about it any further.

"What do you say we go over a few more things. And tomorrow we'll get the first things from you. I'll let you have half my wardrobe. I don't know where I'll put my clothes until then. We'll see about that then," I say with a sincere smile and I'm pleased to see that the tension that had been gripping Alec's body just a moment ago has disappeared.

"I don't think we'll get in each other's way there. I don't even own that many clothes." Hesitantly, Alec slides his hand across the table, grabs mine. I glance at our hands, a comforting warmth preparing itself.

"Thank you, Magnus", Alec breathes, stroking the back of my hand lovingly. This gesture is too much for me. Too much closeness. Too much confusion. I clear my throat and release my hand from his. Reflexively, I start to play with the ring on my finger and see Alec's gaze resting on me.

"For what?", I ask.

"For not making a scene or trying to avoid judgement. Thanks for giving us a chance."