You'd think I've been to plenty of boxing matches considering that I'm surrounded by an army of boxers almost daily. The truth is, I always chickened out at the prospect of going to one. Crowds were never my thing. An arena full of dumb jocks spilling their crap everywhere and scantily clad women giving it up like groupies after a match was the kind of thing I'd always strayed far, far away from. Just the thought of it made me want to shudder. I'd gotten away with being absent at most of Jaxon's and Cam's matches but I guess the day had to come where I just couldn't escape it.

When Avery showed up to my room uninvited, hands on her hips and glaring at me where I shrunk under my duvet and held my book tightly to my chest, I knew I was in trouble. And man, was I right. She'd stalked over to my little sanctuary and proceeded to rip it apart by snatching my blanket away and smacking me upside the head.

"Up." She'd demanded. "You're going to accompany me at my boyfriend's match today since Emily has to take care of Lucas and you've been in hiding since you found out about the pregnancy. Now get your cute little butt out of bed and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you have an army of friends that love you and are here for you even though you won't let us. Deal with it, chica."

And that was that.

So here I am now attempting to turn invisible in my seat while the rest of the audience gets pumped up for the match. I can't decide where to look. All around me are people behaving like animals and I have to wonder what the hell is so appealing about all of this.

"The crowds are overwhelming." Avery pats my knee and I guess I'm not going a very good job at concealing my disdain. "But once the match starts, you'll be captivated. I promise you. Especially if you know the fighter. It's fucking thrilling, Del."

"Sure." I nod. I hope she's right for both our sakes. "Do you ever feel scared watching Cameron fight?"

"Oh, all the time. I know he's insanely talented and I don't doubt his skills for a second but I also know he's not the only capable fighter in this sport. Every punch that lands on him hurts me, too. Part of me wants to cry and the other part of me wants to get in the ring myself and pummel the fuck out of whoever touched my man. But I know he can hold his own and I know this is what makes him happy so I support it. Plus, he gets really revved up for sex after a win so that's a bonus for me."

I choke on my drink. That's Avery for you — equally sweet and horny.

"Good to know." I mumble into my straw.

She turns to me then and eyes me in a way that makes me squirm in my seat. "How are you, Del? Do I need to worry about a psychotic breakdown anytime soon? And just so you know, I'm not judging. If you want to track that asshole down with a sledgehammer in your hand I'll gladly pin his arms behind his back so he's an easier target."

A laugh bubbles out of me. I really love this girl. "As appealing as that sounds, I could never do something like that. I'm fine, thank you. I'm just doing my best to adjust. I guess it's taking so long because I've never messed up this bad before."

"You didn't mess up." She says confidently. "When I was in middle school, one of the mean girls in my class used to pick on all the other girls. I happened to be friends with one of the girls that was constantly picked on so I took matters into my own hand and dumped a bottle of honey mixed with glue onto the bully's hair. She couldn't get it out for the life of her and eventually had to resort to shaving her head. I got suspended for three days. That's messing up. I did a stupid thing over a situation I could have handled better. That was my own doing. This — Chris leaving you — was not your doing. That's solely the responsibility of that jerkoff and you didn't do a damn thing to deserve it. You did not mess up."

"I'm not sure which part of the story to focus on." I shake my head slowly in amazement. "But I hope you're still friends with the girl you defended."

"Oh, I am." She grins. "The girl was Em."

A pleased gasp escapes me. "Are you serious?"

"Damn straight. That's how I met my soulmate."

"That's even more romantic than how you met Cameron."

"I'm sorry — who?"

I cover my giggle with a hand. "She's lucky to have you."

"You're lucky to have me too, you know? How about you stop fighting it?"

I duck my head. I mean, she's got me there. "I'll try." My voice comes out softer than I intended.

"Hey." Her hand settles on my knee again. "I don't mean that in a rude way. I just mean that I've got your back and I don't want you to forget it. Anything you need, you can come to me or Em. You're our girl."

"Thank you, Aves." I smile over at her. I've never really had close friends before and I feel nothing short of grateful that now I have two. And these two women are some of the best people I know. I guess I am pretty lucky.

"How're you feeling about the pregnancy?" Avery's tone is hesitant.

I bristle briefly at the question but force myself to relax. I said I'd try. "Better now. I'm still scared and feel the occasional need to cry but...there's a bit of excitement in there somewhere."

"You deserve to be excited. This is a good thing."

"But I'm not ready to be a mom."

"Honey, no one is." Her eyes are sympathetic. "Until you actually become a mom, you'll have no clue how to be one. That goes for every expecting woman; single moms, married moms, or teenage moms. I think what sets you apart though is actually taking accountability for the human you're about to be responsible for, even if you're not ready to do it."

"Wow. You sound more ready than I am."

"That's because I'm not the one going through it. I don't feel the fear and nerves like you are. But I know you can do it, Del. You have the kindest heart I know and any kid would be lucky to have you as a mother."

My nose stings violently and I look over to the ring so she doesn't see the fresh pool of tears father in my eyes. I clear my throat in an attempt to get rid of the boulder lodged in there. "That means a lot, Aves."

"I got you, chica."

I absentmindedly twist the straw between my fingers as I debate saying anything else. Even though I've been friends with Emily and Avery for over a year now, I still hesitate opening up to them about myself. They know the gist about my life and what I've went through but that's as far as that goes. When the three of us hang out, I mostly listen to the two tell their stories and rarely contribute with my own. I genuinely want to change that, now. Not only are they the kindest and most welcoming friends I've made, but Avery is right; I'm going to need people that have my back when the baby gets here. If I have the luxury of friends and family who want to support me, why am I pushing them away?

"I think..." My voice starts off too soft to be heard so I clear my throat and try again. Avery watches me patiently with a smile on her face. "I think this situation hits too close to home for me. You know that my dad left Mom and I when I was six, right?"

Avery nods and her smile softens in sympathy.

"I remember feeling like my world was falling apart. I didn't have a relationship with my dad, ever, but I still felt the confusion and hurt of losing a parent. What hurt the most was that it was his choice to leave and to be left all over again...it just takes me back to that moment. All I can think about is if my mom was able to do it all on her own then so can I."

"I get that. You were the bystander to that situation back then and now it's happening all over again except this time, you're the victim. You want to do exactly what your mom had done for you."

"Yes." I nod, a little amazed at how perfectly she captured my thoughts. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though. Avery is a therapist and she's amazing at her job.

"The thing is, Del, I'm not so sure your mom would have done things the way she did if she had the support that you do now."

"What do you mean?" I feel a frown overtaking my face and my hackles rise. I can't help but feel defensive of Mom at Avery's implication that she should have done things differently.

Her hands go up as if she can sense my walls rising. "I just mean that your mom did everything solo because she had no choice. But can you honestly tell me that if she had support from maybe even one more person, that she wouldn't have accepted it? As honourable as her actions were, don't you think she would've been inclined to take help from those who offered it? Just to make her journey a little easier for the both of you?"

My heart stutters painfully and I look away again. What Avery is saying is absolutely right and now I feel selfish for being so caught up on praising Mom's independence and never once considering that she shouldn't have been alone. Someone should have been there for her. As great growing up was with just the two of us, she should have had help. How did I never realize that before? I think back to all the times Mom has been telling me for the past two months how lucky I am to have friends and family who care and for the first time, I realize there was yearning in her voice too. She's glad I have what she didn't have. Not just the ability to conceive without complication but to not be alone through it all.

"Oh, God." I mumble and I push my hand against my chest. It aches. I'm about to explode and I know it. I push my drink into Avery's hand who startles. "I'll be right back. I need air."

"Del, wait. I didn't mean to upset you." Avery tries to stand but I usher her back down.

"You didn't. I'm just upset with myself. Please." My smile feels forced. "I promise I'll be back."

Without waiting for her response I start heading down towards the end of the aisle. I bump into people left and right and ignore their glares while I unceremoniously make my way out of the stands. The match is about to start any minute now and everyone is riled up as it is. When I pass the last person at the end of the row, there's nothing but free space leading toward an exit nearby. I lightly jog out of the stadium, knowing how crazy I must look. I get a few looks of curiosity that cause a blush to overtake my face but I don't let it stop me. The security guard standing at the entrance frowns and takes a step in my direction but I wave him off and open the door to the exit without sparing him another glance. As soon as a rush of the cool nighttime breeze hits my face I take a large and gasping breath of air, feeling like I can breathe again.

My back hits the wall and I slide down the length of it until I'm sitting on my heels. I cradle my head in my hands and place my forehead on my knees, silently counting seconds until I'm breathing at a normal rate. Every now and then I experience panic attacks and have had to visit a therapist in the past to learn about exercises that help me keep them in control. My panic attacks don't happen very often but they're usually triggered by big changes in my life or when the realization of an impending change in my life hits me. Lately my life has been nothing but big changes so my attacks come right with them. Just what I need, right?

I hear the door open again and freeze, hoping like hell no one came after me. I need to be alone right now and I've never been good at sending people away. I always feel bad about it so I stay quiet and torture myself with unwanted company.

A couple of deep male voices exchange a few words before the door closes again and I breathe a sigh of relief, thankful that they went away and ignored the crazy blonde rocking herself in a corner.

"Angel."

I freeze again. Oh, crap.

Oh crappity crap, crap, crap.

I'd rather be sitting in a room full of strangers than be alone with him.

What did I get myself into?

"Hey." He sounds closer this time and I peek to my side with my head still down. I can see his shoes right beside me and my shoulders go rigid when I realize his proximity. A deep sigh meets my ears and I watch with dread as he lowers himself until he's level with me. I can smell his cologne and it's like the wind around us is purposely trying to blanket us in his scent. His clean woodsy scent with a hint of something entirely male. "Look at me, Del."

I briefly consider ignoring him but Nate Hunter does not take well to being dismissed. Oh, no. He is a man that likes to be addressed with clear intentions and hates beating around the bush. In other words, he's nothing like me — the girl who hides and hates to be seen.

But he sees me. And it's as thrilling as it is scary.

There's no time for an internal pep talk so I swallow down my nerves and raise my head to look at him.

Only for my heart to stop again.

God, he's so beautiful. Being this close to him should be illegal because I can literally hear my brain cells frying away. His dark brown eyes are intense and kind at the same time. He always looks at the world as if he knows something they don't. His eyes are the most captivating thing about him — when he doesn't smile, that is. Because his smile is...oh, boy. It changes the tough features of his face and immediately softens them with warmth. His smile is contagious and just looking at it makes you feel happy and safe. I wish he was smiling at me right now. Instead, those ridiculously pouty lips are pinched at the corners as he stares at me warily. Now that my hormones are calming down after raging while checking him out, I finally notice the awkwardness between us and try not to cringe. I haven't seen or spoken to him in weeks and this is not the reunion I envisioned for us.

"Hi." My voice is a mere whisper but I can't manage more than that right now. He's too overwhelming.

"You okay?" His eyes do an inspection of my body and I feel myself blushing from head to toe. Man, I'm pathetic. It's not like he's checking me out. These pregnancy are hormones are going to be the death of me.

"I'm fine." I look down again so that my hair curtains my face from his view. It's just too hard to think rationally when he has his eyes on me. "You should go back. Cam's match started."

"And leave you alone out here? Not likely."

"You don't have to babysit me, Nate. I just need a few moments."

I almost jump out of my skin when I feel his warm hand on my cheek, his slightly calloused skin contradicting the gentle way he tucks my hair behind my ear. That little action alone sets my heart off like a grenade and it pounds violently in my chest. I hate how intensely he affects me. It's unnerving.

"I'll stand by the door but that's as much privacy as you get. After what happened with Emily, no one is allowed to be out here by themselves." He explains firmly.

Today was really turning out to be the day of "Delilah thinks the world revolves around her." Here I was thinking Nate came after me for me when it was a safety precaution. Of course they would put that in place after Emily's kidnapping. Could I be any more awful?

"You're right. Sorry." I apologize and hope like hell he didn't hear the crack in my voice. I don't even know why I feel like crying. Lately, it just feels like everything is going wrong in my life.

"You don't have to apologize." He drops his hand and I oddly miss his touch. "I'll give you your space."

He stands and my stomach tightens with...panic? Frustration? All I know is this is the most we've said to each other in a long time and I miss him. Nate's friendship has always been something I've treasured and to not have that anymore hurts more than I expected. Maybe it's my desperation that causes me to speak out.

"You can sit." I wrap my arms tighter around myself when he raises his brow. Why did I say that? "Or not. It's fine."

I look away when I'm met with silence. That went well. I nibble on my lip, my nervous tick, and try to focus on the stars in the sky instead. Anything is better than the embarrassment I feel right now. When I feel a tear slide down my cheek, I quickly brush it away and beg myself to get it together.

A shoulder brushes mine and my breath stutters, eyes closing shut. He sat. Of course he did. Nate is many things and a nice guy is one of them. What the hell am I being so sensitive for? I blame the hormones again.

"Why are you upset?" He asks quietly.

"I'm not." I say even though my voice is thick with emotion. We both hear it.

"Is it...him? Because I've been itching to get my hand acquainted with his face. All you need to do is give me the green light."

A pleased laugh sputters out of me and I look over at him in shock. He stares back with intense eyes but there's a tiny bit of humour there now.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because men like him are scum and deserve to be put in their place."

"Ah, right. Another one of your 'Knight' moments."

"No. That's what any decent human would do, Del. Don't praise people for what they should be doing."

"Right." My shoulders sag and I curl into myself. I'm convinced my purpose in life is to make a fool out of myself in front of Nate. Awesome.

"That came out harsh." He pauses. "I'm sorry, Angel. I'm being an asshole."

"You're not." I shake my head and try not to do a little victory dance at the fact that he still calls me Angel. I don't know why but I love it. "You're telling me what I need to hear and I appreciate that. Everyone else is walking on eggshells around me and it's making me feel like a freak show."

"Prettiest freak show I've ever seen." He nudges me with his elbow and my cheeks grow warm at his teasing. I really have missed that. "Seriously, though. I saw you run out of the stadium. What's wrong?"

I debate brushing him off again but then I realize I'm so tired of pretending like everything is okay. For once, I want to admit to myself and someone else that maybe I'm not okay after all. And for whatever reason, I've always felt comfortable around Nate so I take a leap of faith and tell him. "Everything is wrong, Nate. Ever since my dad walked out on me I swore that I would keep my life in control. I lived off a checklist, you know? Get good grades, graduate from university, work hard to become a published author, get married and then have kids. Predictability keeps me sane and I feel like I've been robbed of that. I feel like everything is going backwards. I had a plan."

"Yeah, you did." He agrees as he places his forearms on his knees and gets comfortable. "And maybe you would have been the happiest girl in the world if things worked out the way you planned or maybe you'd have been the most miserable. Just because you always had a plan doesn't mean that's how you were meant to live your life. Maybe there's a reason things didn't work out the way they did."

"But how can I trust that?"