It's been the longest three hours of my entire life. Never have I been more petrified than I have tonight. Izzy has never been sick like this before, and watching the doctors have to put an IV in her was pure and utter torture.

No child should have to be in a hospital bed. She's in a little crib with a bunch of cords attached to her, and after hours and hours of screaming she had finally gone to sleep. My eyes are so puffy from all of the crying. They sting, and every ounce of me wants to go to sleep, but I don't want to close my eyes for a second. What if she wakes up? What if she needs me?

Curling up into a ball in the hospital chair beside her bed, I close my eyes to the gentle beeping of the monitors, letting more tears escape onto my cheeks. My mom had left an hour ago, and now I feel more alone than ever.

Cameron hadn't even replied to my text messages about her. He might still be at the shoot, but he should keep his phone on in case something like this happens. He needs to be able to be reached.

I mean, I had said it wasn't a big deal when I shouldn't have. I had no idea what it would be like when we got here, and hearing her cry in agony for hours was awful. I am so mentally drained.

Almost like my prayers have been answered, I hear knocks on the door. It's not Cameron though, it's a nurse. "Excuse me." She says. "The father says he's here. Is it okay to send him back?"

Oh, thank god.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you!

"Yes." I eagerly nod and watch as she disappears, glancing over to the crib to make sure she's still sleeping. I'm still curled up into a ball when Cameron finally walks in. He pauses by the door, a hand going over his mouth when he sees her.

"What the fuck?" He chokes out. "I thought it was just a fever?"

"It is." I sniffle. "But since she couldn't keep anything down they had to put an IV in her to give her fluids, and she has a heart monitor on just to make sure her breathing is okay since she's so stuffed up."

Cam lingers by the door before he finally looks at me, and I don't know what it is, but this expression is different. It's one I haven't seen in years.

"Maddie..." he trails off. "I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get here. I took the first flight back. Your mom told me she was here, and I should have called you to let you know I was coming, but I was just worried as hell, and-"

"I'm just so glad you're here." I cry, wiping desperately to get rid of the tears. "T-they had to stick her with the needle like four times before they finally got it. She was screaming in a way I've never heard before. It was fucking traumatizing. I had to be the strong one for her though, you know? Even though it was breaking me inside I had to tell her that it was going to be okay, even if I had no damn clue that it would be."

Without having to ask, Cam picks me up from the chair and sits down in it himself, letting me curl up into his lap. I sob into his shirt, clutching onto it for dear life.

"You don't have to be strong anymore." He reassures. "I'm here now, okay? I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, baby."

The nickname sends me spiraling. I don't know if it's a mistake, or if it just slipped out. My stomach is already raw from the nerves, but the combination of that and the butterflies makes me feel dizzy as hell.

It's not until I nuzzle my face further into his chest that I realize he's... sticky?

I pull back and wipe my cheek, staring at my fingers to see what the hell it is.

"Oh." He laughs, and the sound is comforting. "It's oil. Sorry. I left the shoot immediately."

"Oh my god." I laugh too, and it feels so good to smile after a whole day of hell. He's the only person that could do that. "You weren't kidding, were you?"

"I wish I was." He replies, looking over at Izzy again. "What do they think is wrong with her?"

"The flu. It just dehydrated her I guess from how high her fever was. They said she would be fine to go home tomorrow."

"Well until then..." he kisses the top of my head, rubbing his hands up and down my back. "Have you eaten anything?"

I shake my head. Maybe that's why I'm so dizzy.

"We should probably change that." He suggests. "Please, take my card and get something."

"I am very capable of purchasing things myself." I mutter defiantly. "The nails and the hair money were already enough."

Tilting my chin up until my eyes meet with his, I lose my breath and all train of thought. His hair is styled to perfection from the shoot, his lips full and wet as he darts his tongue out to lick them. "Please, baby? For me?"

Ok, so it definitely wasn't a mistake.

"That's the second time you've used that nickname tonight." I whisper. "Any particular reason why?"

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he brushes his thumb against my cheek. "I guess you could say that I'm just getting tired of fighting it." He shrugs. "I wanted to say it, so I'm saying it, okay? Now please, go get something to eat before I get mad. You need to take care of yourself."

_____

I ended up scarfing down a chocolate chip muffin, a banana and some orange juice down in the cafeteria. Nothing else was open, so I grabbed what I could.

I'm just about to push the curtain open to our room again until I hear Cameron's voice. It's soft and gentle, so I know he's talking to Izzy. Peeking through the spaces between the fabric, I see that he's moved the chair to sit in front of the crib, holding onto her hand through the gap.

"... and I swear, Izzy. I pray that you don't bring someone home like your daddy was in high school."

I hold back a laugh.

"I was the worst. Truly, I was. But even though I was that way that doesn't mean that I'll allow some guy to be the same — or girl. Whichever you prefer."

More silence surrounds the room, and just when I think he's done, he starts up again.

"You know... the last time daddy was in one of these places was when he said goodbye to your grandma." He pauses, and I can tell he's holding back tears. "These places scare the crap out of me, Izzy. As much as I want to be strong for you, I find myself more frightened than ever."

"But you're going to be fine, baby girl." He chokes out. "Because you can't not be fine. I already lost my mom, and if I lose you too?"

Another chortled sob escapes him, and I push the curtain open, not even thinking twice before I fall into his lap and pull him close. "Hey, it's okay." I soothe. "Cam, you're okay."

"I-I miss her so much, Maddie." He sobs. "I don't ever cry about her, or talk about her, or bring her up at all because of how much pain I feel. And then I s-saw the photo album you put in my backpack and I saw that picture of her with your mom. I just wish she was here. I wish she could meet Izzy. I wish she could tell me what to do about everything. I just miss her so goddamn much."

"I know." I whisper calmly, running my fingers through his hair to try and calm him down. "I miss her too. You have to know that she would be so proud of you though, right? She would think you're an amazing father because you are. I think she's here with us every day even when you think she's not. People you love that aren't here are never really that far away."

He nods against my chest. "I'm sorry for getting emotional. I'm supposed to be the strong one for you. I am the man after all."

Grabbing onto his hand, I give it a tight squeeze. "I think what makes a relationship-" and then I stop myself, watching his eyebrow arch up in response. "Or a friendship." I correct. "Work is that we're both strong for each other. You lift me up just like I lift you up."

He pulls his head back to stare at me again, his eyes moving down to my lips. I can tell that he's overthinking things right now as to what he wants to do, and when he leans in he pauses, almost as if he's triple checking whether or not he should.

But then he does, pressing his lips against mine. This kiss feels different. It's not filled with lust. It's filled with passion, love, and everything we've been hiding from each other wrapped up into one.

My hands go to the sides of his face to pull him closer, our tears staining each other's cheeks. I don't know if this is because we're both so emotional after today. Maybe we're both not thinking clearly, but it certainly doesn't feel that way. I'm thinking clear as day right now.

He finally pulls away breathlessly, scanning my eyes again. "I'm still in love with you, Mads."

I can't breathe, I can't speak, all I can do is stare at him.

"I never stopped feeling this way, but I still think we should take this slow. Not as healthy co-parents though, but as parents who are going to get back together. That's what I want."

I still can't speak, tears pricking into the backs of my eyes as I rack my brain to try to say something. To say anything.

"Is that what you want too?" He whispers.

I eagerly nod my head, and in seconds he smiles like a little kid on Christmas, kissing me quickly again. "Good." He chuckles. "Because it was getting really frustrating not being able to kiss you whenever I pleased."

Just then, Izzy lets out a whimper and stirs in her crib. She pops her eyes open and looks around in the dark, and my heart completely melts when she smiles so brightly at Cameron.

"Hey, baby girl." He sniffles and wipes away more tears, smiling back as he grabs onto her hand. "Daddy's here. Oh, and look." He reaches into his pocket and takes out squishy. "I brought him back to you."

She takes the turtle into her hands and twirls it around. While he stays with her I go to the other side of the room and grab a diaper. "we should change her. She probably peed from all the fluid."

Reaching down into the crib, I pick Izzy up into my arms and give her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to touch her IV site. "Daddy's gonna hold you, okay? I think he needs a hug."

Passing her over, Cam holds her close. I give him the diaper and place a kiss on his cheek too. "The nurses told me to let them know if she woke up. I'll be right back."

"No problem." He smiles and tickles her underneath her chin. "I've got her."

Turning for the door, I glance back one last time, watching as he begins to sing her lullabies, my heart completely bursting out of my chest.

"Cam?" I call out. He turns his attention towards me, anxiously awaiting what I'm going to say like he's on the edge of his seat. I think it's because he knows what's about to come out of my mouth.

"I love you." I smile, and before he can say anything in return I quickly leave to find the nurses station.

A/N:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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