"Absolutely not." Soren said angrily after I told him about the job and living.

"Why not?" I ask him annoyed and kind of disappointed. Why refuse the help of others?

Why would he let himself suffer.

"It's ridiculous, Atila. He cannot just do everything for us. We don't have ways to pay him back."

"Well, maybe, he just doesn't care about getting something back? He just genuinely wants to help us.

Also it's not just about what you want, but also about what I want."

He looks at me sad. "I didn't mean it in a bad way .. it's just," I put a hand on his head, "ever since she's gone, you are not yourself."

"I am."

"No, you're not. You used to be so happy and cheerful. Hang out with your friends and read books in the park. Swim all the time. Do you remember?"

"But I just don't have time for this anymore. When you become a parents, you don't have time for silly things."

"That's the problem, Soren. I'm not your child anymore. You don't have to do everything for me. I'm an adult too.

We are equal."

"We're never gonna be. I'm older."

"Yes and stupider." I frown, "you would just let this opportunity slide just like that? What are you even thinking?

You want to work your ass off till you die? Is that the life you want? No.

He will gives us jobs , living and he likes you. He probably hitting on you and wants you more than you think.

He saw you naked for fucks sake, I don't think you can get more personal than that. It's not just nothing."

Soren blushes. "You didn't have to add the last part."

"No, but I did. It's important one in this scenario. If you don't want what he gives us, fine.

Fine, because I do and I will move out and take the job. And you can stay here alone and grief."

He gives me his big puppy eyes. "no."

"Here. Sign it, in front of my eyes. Or I will fake your signature."

He sighs and takes a pen from the desk. He reads it and puts his signature on the lower side of the page.

"Lars shouldn't be doing this." He looks at me.

"But why not? He likes you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Yes. He does." I catch his shoulders, "he does." I repeat.

"What should I do about it then?"

"I don't know. Make out with him." I smirk.

"Stop it."

"No, what we actually need to do is pack all of our things so we can move away and tell our land lord.

Or should I tell Lars to do it? he would."

"Don't bother him."

"Are you not a bit excited?"

"I'm ... scared. We are alone Atila. If he gets bored of us, we need to start over while he won't even notice."

"But he won't get bored of us, so don't be so negative. If mom was alive, she would want you to do this."

His eyes widen.

"She would." I look into his eyes.

"Okay." he goes to his room and starts packing some things. If mom was alive she would definitely disagree, but she's not here anymore and sometimes ... I have to be an older brother to my older brother for his own good.

*

On the next day, we are still not packed but it's okay. I have to go to school but Soren doesn't want to go to his new work.

"They are counting with you. And after you finish working, stay at Lars' please."

"Why?"

"Get a bit closer again. You know." I wink.

"Your bus will drive away."

"Alright, but stay there. If I see you coming home, I'm locking the door and you can sleep on the streets."

He whines out.