Rasha

I slowly walk into the house where the party is thrown in with my friends. I feel Donia hold my hand, I look over to her. ''It's so good that you're here with us.'' Donia smiles. I fake smile back at her, because I knew this was wrong. I shouldn't be here, this feels so wrong. It feels like I'm disappointing someone I love. Mr.Bashar. Gosh, why am here? I want to go home, I can't stay here anymore. What if he finds out I'm here? He will be so disappointed. Why did I do this?

I tried to tell my friends before I came here that I didn't want to go. But they forced me and they told me that I can't keep changing my mind. But I didn't care, I didn't want to be here in the first place. I just wanted to make Mr.Bashar jealous, as he did to me. He made me jealous by kissing and dating another girl. And I wanted to show him that he can't control me. But I'm only making these worse for us, if I'm going to continue like this we will only keep fighting.

''Let's grab a drink!'' Medina said as she leads us the way towards the drinks. When we arrived I could see that it was only vodka, tequila, and other alcoholic drinks. Something I couldn't drink, nor my friends. But then I see Medina taking 4 cups and pour vodka in them. I look at her with confusing eyes, ''What are you doing?'' I ask, cluelessly. She flips her hair before she looks at me with a smile on her face, ''We are here to have fun, here. Drink, who cares if it's haram right now, I'm pretty sure God will forgive us.'' She passes me the drink. I widen my eyes at her.

Stagfrulliah, what is she saying? Okay, I might have been doing things I shouldn't do. For example, kissed someone, or raised my voice on my Dad. But no, no hunny no-no. That's over the limit. I'm not going to do something on purpose that I know It's haram. I look at Donia to make her convince the girls to not drink, because if I did they would never listen to me. But I see that she had already drunk her drink.

My heart starts racing really fast and my body starts trembling. Where am I? Where did I end up? ''You don't have to drink if you don't want to.'' Tamara caresses my arm. ''Of course she does, we are here to have fun. Yalla, drink it up.'' Medina wraps her arm around my shoulder. I start to breathe heavily and it felt like I swallowed a stone. I was scared, I felt weak. I didn't know why, maybe because I wasn't used to these things. Stagfrulliah, what am I doing? I look up at Donia, she has a smile on her face. What? Why isn't she saying anything?

''Opp, you're not drinking that.'' I felt someone grab drink from my hand, I see the person pour the drink on the floor. Everyone looks up at the person and all our eyes met Malik. ''Babe, you've known Rash for a few years. You know she doesn't do these things.'' He laughs as he kisses Tamara on her forehead. They all laugh and greet each other. I was the reason Malik and Tamara met, Malik and I were close friends in high school. And then I introduced Tamara to him, and in someway they fell in love.

After I greeted Malik I thanked him, he knows that I don't do these things.

An hour has gone by and my friends have gone crazy, they've drunk so much, danced on each other and Medina have probably hooked up with ten guys already. All I do is sit on a chair waiting on Tariq. I want him to come and drive me home. I don't feel comfortable being here, I want to go home now. But there's no sign of him. I wished I had Mr.Bashar numbers, I wanted to text him how sorry I am. I want him to take me home, but even if I do have his number he would go crazy if he finds out I'm here.

''Whatsup.'' I hear someone say. I look up and my eyes met a brown hairy guy. That was all I could see, it was too dark in here. I nodded back. I noticed that he took a seat next to me. ''It's not every day you see a hot hijabi in a party like this.'' He said with a horny tone. I gulp before I answered, ''Uhh... uhh okay.'' WHAT THE HELL? KICK HIS ASS WHAT ARE YOU DOING RASHA? '''I'm Brendon, by the way.'' I ignored what he said. I didn't care who was. I just wanted him to leave me alone. ''You want to do something fun?'' I widen my eyes at his response. What does that fucking mean, omg omg someone help?! Tariq where are you? Donia, Medina, Tamara please notice me!

''Uh, no it's fine. I think I'm fine.'' I said with a trembling tone. I try to not look at him so he can leave me alone. ''Come on, don't be so boring baby.'' His hand traveled down to my thigh. I flinched at his actions and slapped his hand. ''What the fuck are you doing?!'' I frowned. He laughed, then he took a grip of my hand and started walking somewhere. ''What are you doing?!'' I shouted, but of course he ignored me. I started to do everything to make him let go of me, I even tried to bite his hand.

He walks into a bathroom and shuts the door after him. He then pushes me on a wall and puts my two hands between my head. ''Please, let go of me. Please don't do this.'' I tried to scream, but it only came out as a whisper. An evil smirk appeared on his face like this was amusing to him. And it was, I could see it all over his face. My body started shaking and tears fell from my eyes down to my cheek. ''Please, don't do this. Please-'' He interrupted me by placing his finger on my lips.

''Shh, babygirl. I know you want this.'' He leaned closer to my face as I pressed the back of my head more onto the wall, but what was the use? I wasn't going anywhere. I wanted to scream, but couldn't. It was like my throat was stuck, I don't know what but it was something heavy. I tried to push him, but I was too weak. The only thing I could do was to pray to Allah, in a bathroom. It was the only choice for me, and that's what I did. With a trembling body and tears flooding down to my cheeks. I noticed that his lips were close to mine, god they were so close. It was no use any more of trying to anything, he's going to kiss me now.

All of a sudden we hear the door storm open, it even sounded like the door was about to fall of. I tried to see who it was that came in but I couldn't, Brendon's head covered everything. ''What the fuck bro, get out.'' Brendon frowned.

''You fucking piece of shit.'' Not even a second went by before he was thrown to the floor.

I looked at the guy who pushed Brendon, but I couldn't see his face but cause he was wearing a hood. The guy with the hood jumped on Brendon and started to punch him on his face, I could hear the punches. They were so fucking loud, it feels like it was louder than the music. ''YOU DARE TO FUCKING TOUCH MY FUCKING GIRL?!'' He said between his punches.

My heart started racing so fast, Mr.Bashar? I recognized his voice. How did he know I was here? What the fuck Rasha, is that important right now?! I looked at him punching the shit of Brendon. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. What if he would hurt me too? I kept looking at him killing Brendon as I cried. The punches got louder and louder and I could see how Brendon lost his control. I could see that he turned unconscious, he was about to die. And my heart was aching, I couldn't watch him die. Even if he wanted to assault me, I couldn't.

''Stop, Saiid you're killing him!'' I shouted. But he didn't stop, he didn't bother to care. He continued like there was no end. I pushed Mr.Bashar off of Brendon, it was the only way to make him stop. Mr.Bashar got up and looked at me dead in the eye, his hands and cardigan were covered with blood. I looked back at Brendon, he had fainted. He was he knocked out, completely. ''We have to help hi-''

''Shut the fuck Rasha! Shut the fuck up! What the fuck is wrong with you!? Huh!'' He grabbed wrist tightly. I flinch at his loud deep voice, I didn't know what to say. I was frightened. Before I could even blink he walked off of the bathroom with my wrist grabbed by his hand. He dragged me out of the party and out to the parking lot. Nobody noticed me, not even my friends. They were too drunk. He opened the car door and made me take a seat. I didn't hesitate, I didn't dare to. I saw him get into the driver seat and as soon as he got in he started the car.

''You're fucking stupid, do you fucking know that?! You're fucking stupid! What did I fucking tell you!'' He yelled, he yelled so loud as he looked out the driveway. I looked at his bloody knuckles as I kept quiet. ''RASHA! FUCKING TELL ME! TELL ME! AM I FUCKING TALKING TO THE CAR OR WHAT!'' He yelled louder. I squeezed my eyes shut, I was so scared.

I didn't even dare to have my eyes open. Now I know what he meant by saying that he will make me regret that I even thought about going to that party, cause that's what I doing right. I wish I listened to him, I wish I never fucking went to that party. I wish I stayed home, gosh I wish I just wasn't born. ''Fine, do as you want.'' Was the last thing he said before he drove faster. I didn't know where we were going, but I didn't care.

As long as I was with him.

Saiid

I still couldn't get the image off of my head, when he was about to kiss her. God, I wanted to rip his whole body off. I wanted him dead, I didn't care if I would become a murder or end up in jail. No one can touch Rasha but me, no one but me. I understand that I'm scaring her right now, but I couldn't help it. I can't go easy on her anymore, It feels like I'm about to explode. My heart, fuck it feels like it breaking to pieces as she's acting like this. Never did I ever thought loving her would be this hard, is she doing this on purpose or what?!

''I'm sorry, Saiid. I'm sorry.'' I heard her sob. Hearing her shaky voice made my whole body weaker, but I can't let her win over me. She's been doing this and then she still makes me go crazy. ''Saiid please slow down...'' Her voice cracked for every word she let out. I start to breathe heavily, and faster.

A few minutes later we were outside my house yard, I parked the car in front of the yard and turned off the car. I got off the car and jogged to her seat, I opened the door for her and she got out. When she got out she looked down, gosh I can't handle her. ''Saiid, where are we?'' She asked, looking down at her shoes. I notice that she doesn't dare to look at me.

''My house,'' I stated. Then she looks up at me confused, ''Why?! I can't be here I want to go home.'' She started to panic for some reason. ''You can't,'' I said with a calm tone. ''I really have to go home Mr.Bash-''

''Rasha, don't make me shout at you! I don't fucking trust you! Do you fucking understand, you must stay here until your parents come back!'' She widens her eyes at me. Before she gets to say something I held her hand and started walking towards the house. I really didn't trust her anymore, what if she goes back to that fucking party. I already almost killed someone, I don't want her to make me do something worse. ''I never wanted to go to that party!'' She succeeded in making me let go of her. I looked back at her, I furrowed my eyebrows at her. ''Why did you go to that fucking party in the first place then?''

She took a second before she replied, ''To make you jealous.'' She whispered, but I clearly heard what she said. I ran a hand through my hair furiously, I was disappointed. So she fucking did that on purpose! Jealous?! Jealous?! Well she got what she fucking wanted, ''Rasha, are you fucking clear? Jealo-''

She interrupted me by wrapping her arms around my waist. She slowly rested her head on my chest. I felt my heart racing like crazy, not now. Not fucking now. ''Rasha, what are you doing?'' I asked her, I wanted her to let go. I didn't want her to think she could win over me, I wanted her to know that I was being serious.

''Saiid, I love you. I love you more than anyone else, that's why.''

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