It was incredibly unfair, in my opinion. I had, like most other girls, dreamt all my life of meeting "the one" and raising a family with children of my own. For some people, that dream faded away, but it had always remained in my mind. And then that opportunity was snatched from me.

For the rest of my life, I am to stay in the Realm of Mianite, without anyone I can truly call a friend. The thought of staying here forever brings tears to my eyes. How could I bear these nightmares forever? What would I do?

I just wanted my old life back. I barely remembered it, but I know that I want it more than anything in the world. I want to fall in love, or at least to have a best friend. I knew Andor and Alva could fill at least one of those roles, except that I will never see them again.

I miss both of them, with all of my heart. Sometimes, I wonder how they're doing over in Ruxomar. I know that their family is full of, well, issues, but I hope that both of them are safe and at least a little happy.

I wonder if they remember me.

I was wrong to think that wandering the realm would help me. It seemed to be a call from Ianite, but now Ianite was no longer a powerful being. She is being oppressed from all sides of her family, as she had always been, but it is only now that I see how much damage it has done to her. I no longer feel I am safe under her watch.

I sat down on the soft grass and wrapped my white wings around myself for comfort. Sparklez was extremely kind to have made me a new set of wings before I left, but it wasn't the same. The memory of my elegant purple wings, and the way they were sliced from my back, will never leave my mind. 

I remember when I had a nice, happy life. For ten years, I lived the perfect life. I had a complete family, and a best friend. My parents loved me, and I was well-respected. Ianite ruled the land, and everyone believed that I would grow up to be an amazing king. I believed it too, and I had already begun to make plans. The town would revolve around the thought of peace, and help would be offered to anyone who needed it. On the other hand, revenge would be dealt to those who deserved it. This, after all, is the way of Ianite. Balance.

And what happened after ten years? Everything was snatched from me, one by one. First, four people from the town disappeared. One was my grandfather, and one was my best friend. Spark's disappearance caused Ianite's downfall, and Alyssa's was the beginning of mine. Any time I was upset about something, I would go straight to her for comfort. In return, she would spill her sorrows to me. They were secrets kept between the two of us, and it formed an unbreakable bond. And here was this force, ripping us apart. I had no way of knowing what had happened to her, and everyone assumed she was dead.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if they had not disappeared. I suppose I would've had the future I dreamed of. I would grow up with Alyssa, and who knows how close we would have gotten. Ianite wouldn't have gone insane, and Freya and Alva would still be alive. Helgrind wouldn't have banished Ianite, and Mianite would've been known for who he truly is- a fraud. 

But I can't spend my time thinking about what could have happened. What did happen is that I spent the rest of my childhood and teenager years living under terrible and abusive conditions in Dagrun. I suppose that problem is solved, but I am not satisfied with the solution. I just wanted Ianite to be recognized as the true goddess of Ruxomar, and what happens instead? My father is sent to the nether, where he will, without a doubt, die. Ianite is fading away, even though she just entered the world, and Mianite is rising to power. 

And, even though I do have a few friends, I know that I am alone for the most part. My only best friend had been taken, perhaps even killed. I had no way of knowing.

Sometimes, I like to hope that she found a better life wherever she ended up. I miss her, but I would much rather she live in a safe, cozy place, than suffer here. I hope that being transferred to another realm saved her from the horrors of Ruxomar. I don't care if she's forgotten me, or if I was just an insignificant part of her childhood. 

All anyone wants is happiness.

"Spark?" I asked, knocking on his door. I wanted to talk to him about these feelings. He'd be honest with me, at least. 

After a few moments, the door swung open. "Alyssa? What do you need?" He didn't look annoyed, just surprised. I guess we weren't exactly on good terms.

"Can... can I talk to you about Ruxomar?" I spoke hesitantly. It was kind of a strange request. 

"I suppose, yes." He opened the door wider, inviting me inside his house. We walked down a small set of stairs and entered his living room. "What would you like to know?"

"There's no way to see into another realm, is there? No way at all?" I already knew what the answer was going to be, but I had to ask."

Spark shook his head sadly. "I would have done it long ago if that was a possibility. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged. "I just wanted to know if the people back there were safe and happy. If I can't get back to them, I just want to know that they're... you know, fine."

"I understand. I really don't know, Alyssa. Ruxomar's a faulty place. Here, it seems like the only enemy we had to face was Dianite. There, it's not so simple. There's no one 'good guy' and 'bad guy'. Anything could've happened. It's not worth it to worry about them, though. We just have to accept the fact that we're never going to go back there."

"Yeah," I said, my voice choked up from being upset. "I know."