《I'll Be Good, I Will (Brahms Heelshire × Reader)》18
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"Brahms sweetie, c'mon!" My hands reach for Brahms as he stood at the open gates.
-I was outside the estate, lucky Brahms even let me try this after five days of grabbing me and holding my tight so that I couldn't. He'd wrap his arms around me tight from behind, telling me I couldn't leave as well as begging me to stay with him. Now, he's trusting me outside, wearing thinner winter clothes as the world around us was slowly becoming warmer. My hands outstretched for him, his stood on the other side of the gate with his hands holding one another.
-"You're not going to immediately decease as soon as you step outside the gate Brahms, c'mon."
-He shakes his head, his curls bouncing about as he did so, and he reached up to anxiously pull the winter hat down his head. I drop my arms, sighing as I look up at the house. It was like his entire life was in that place, and he was just so scared of the outside world.. I don't know how else to do this. He already knows all the history of the world, and I've already told him as much as I could about the modern world. It's not like I could make it sound any safer without lying to him, and Brahms was no fool.
-"Y'know Loki didn't know anything about you until I told them." I explain. "Loki doesn't go around talking about other people's business neither.. Loki hangs out with a bunch of secret keepers, and if we're going to a party then chances are they're not going to talk about you unless you throw a tantrum and break something."
-"I can't go to that party!"
-"Alright fine, we won't go to the party!" I stomp my foot, my efforts at this point didn't have anything to do with it. "Just come here Brahms, alright?"
-"I can't leave."
-"I can't move either! My feet are frozen to the ground over here and I can't come back!"
-"Don't joke like that it's stupid!"
-I can't help but laugh. "C'mon Brahms.. Don't be scared, don't you trust me?"
-"I do but I can't leave!"
-"You can! Who told you that you couldn't?"
-"Mummy and Daddy told me, that if I left the police would take me."
-"Your Mummy and Daddy are also the people who left you alone for two years."
-"They didn't leave me alone."
-I shake my head, letting out a sigh as I reach my hands out for him. "Your parents? Don't care anymore. You know who does care about you? Me. Alright? Come here." Brahms crosses his arms. "It's a wonderful world out here Brahms, do you not want to see it? The police have probably forgotten about you too. Y'know, sometimes kids who go missing one day never show back up, and we can pretend that's what happened, alright?"
-"We can pretend here."
-"Brahms, stop. Listen to me." ... "Are you listening to me?" He nods. "You are no one. You're a stranger. Just give it one shot, and you don't even have to go to the party."
-Brahms stares at me intently, and it felt like eternity of just staring. I didn't dare speak, knowing he was in a battle in his head, and slowly.. He takes a step forward. He acts like he's about to step into lava as he does it, his foot weak on the ground before he puts his foot down entirely. Then he's walking towards me, breathing a little heavy as he reaches over and grabs my hands tight. I can't stop the large smile on my face as he's looking down at me.
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-"You did it!" I coo excitingly. "You did it Brahms, look! You're not home anymore!"
-He looks behind himself and then back around at the woods around us. "..I-I'm not home."
-"No!.. No you're not... Take a deep breath." He does so, and he lets it out shakily. Abruptly I let go of him and walk past, and he looks at me as I reach for the gates and pulled them closed. "Now we can go on that walk."
-"W-Walk, walk." I look at him as he fidgets with his clothes, looking down the road at the world before him. I reach and take a hand from him. "I trust you.. I trust you."
-"I know.. I promise to keep you safe, alright?" He looks down at me, and I give him a soft smile. "C'mon."
-We walked pretty far, his hand tight and snug in mine as his other is working hard to cover up the lower half of his face. The world was empty, out here in the woods, and I had been lucky this long, but as I saw a couple of bikers come from down the road, I can tell things were going to get chaotic if I didn't do something. I look at Brahms.
-"Those people are on bikes." I point out, and he looks over. He lets out a shrill gasp like he's looking at a giant humanoid monster with eight legs(on your ceiling). "Just stay calm, alright? Stay beside me and keep walking."
-"B-But--"
-"They don't care." Brahms looks down at me, nearly tripping over his legs as we keep walking.
-Then I look forward, and so does he. As the bikers get closer, the tension grows, but as soon as they roll past us, it drops immediately. A few steps after is when he stops, and I look up at him. He's just watching them, as if to make sure they're not gonna come back, and then he looks at me.
-"They ignored us." He mutters under his mask and I can't help but giggle at the way he says it.
-"We're not the center of the world Brahms, of course they ignored us." I look forward, pulling him along as we keep walking. "There are seven billion people on the planet, Brahms. There's more than just us. They don't come into existence just out of no where."
-"...B-But what if they stopped to talk to us?"
-"Then I'd talk to them, and you can just stand there looking deaf. Maybe we can teach you some sign language to trick people." He finally catches up to me, and he huddles close. I smile a little. "How about we circle around and start heading back home soon, alright? It's cold right now anyways, and today was good enough progress."
-He grumbles something inaudible, and I can tell he's just agreeing. But with this experience, I've come to realize that he's not used to being ignored. As soon as he's known of, all eyes are on him, even as a kid. He's the center of attention at every given moment that he's in, and he can't stand it otherwise, but he also couldn't stand it out here. It'd be my attention that he cares for.
-When we got home he rid himself of all his snow clothes and raced for the next room with the most heat, acting dramatic as he opened his shirt up over the heat vent. I snicker as I follow up behind him, being slower about it as I clear myself of my jacket and gloves.
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-"Now was that scary Brahms?" I ask, and he looks at me.
-"Yes!"
-"Would you do it again?"
-He pauses, and then shrugs, looking away from me as he puts his hand down below to warm them up. "Maybe.. When it's warmer." He grumbles.
-I step up behind him and I wrap my arms around his body, and he jumped a little as I did so. Loki may be right about Brahms keeping me under a tight schedule and having me wrapped up in his finger, but what Loki fails to recognize that it's reciprocated. Brahms is more than willing to put his life in my hands, and I can prove time and time again that it'll be safe there. Which, this whole trust thing reminds me of one singular thing that Brahms had been keeping from me...
-The walls. I had gotten Brahms to bed before I stepped into a closet and walked in to find a door leading in. I felt so afraid of going inside, knowing Brahms only goes in every now and then. He's even left the door open in front of mez the door being a grandfather clock in the living room. My curiosity gets the better of me as I push it open and walk in.
-Trekking through the walls was dusty and dark, using the light on Candy's phone to find my route. Thank God for Loki's charger, I wouldn't have this source otherwise. Unless I wanted to use a candle, but I don't think I'd use one of those.
-I explore for a good five minutes, as quiet as I possibly can before I come upon a door and push through. Then, I'm taken aback by the sight of a light switch. I flinch when I light the place up, and I come across a room in this mess of hallways. It was a surprisingly comfortable looking room, actually.
-The ceiling was covered in Christmas lights and the walls had egg packs on them, possibly to silence the noise going out of it. The entirety of this room was so well kept and organized I was caught off guard by the complexity of it, and even more caught off guard by the fridge and microwave. This room had everything, and I could see moonlight seeping through the boards in the wall. My eyes came upon taxidermied animals and other things of the sort, having plenty of thread and other things dexterous. Then there were plants, bright green and happy, and I can't help but smile. But my smile drops when I see the doll laying on the small bed on the corner. The bed was small, at least my height from my knees up, but the doll fit it well.
-It had my old, dirty clothes on it, from the very first day I was here. As I approached it, I could tell it was used as some sort of hugging pillow, and it made me feel sad. I'd be creeped out if I hadn't already knew about Brahms' whole stalking thing. I find it a little.. flattering, but not in a good way? There wasn't a proper word to describe how it made me feel. But really, it just made me feel a little sad that he had to rely on this thing for comfort. My eyes landed on a crumpled up paper under the pillow however, and I reach for it.
-I straightened it out and my eyes landed on the cursive handwriting. It takes me a second to figure it all out, but as soon as I flatten the paper a couple more times, I can read its contents.
-" Our Dearest Son,
Words cannot describe our heartbreak as we leave you now.
We will not be back. We simply cannot bear to live with what we have allowed you to become.
The girl is yours now. She is yours to love and care for.
May God forgive us all.
Love always,
Mummy & Daddy XX "
-My stomach sinks just a little as I read it over best I can, but even if I can't see some words my mind fills out all the blanks.- I jump at the sound of a step behind me and I turn around, looking at Brahms who stood about a foot away. The man was quiet, but the way he was looking at me was almost sad, trying so hard not to show anything but anger in those eyes. I gulp a little, and I set the page aside.
-"Your parents left you?" I ask, already knowing the answer, but I didn't know what to say. All he does it stare for longer. " ..I'm not going to do what they did Brahms..But I do want an explanation. Who is.. The Girl?"
-He looks away from me before looking at the doll on the bed. He's very tense, I can see it on him, and I can tell by the way his fingers wiggle that he wants to throw something, to hit something. So I step forward and I place my hands on his chest, and this earns his eyes.
-"..I love you." It's the first time I've ever said it to him, and his angry glare changes into something else now. "I'll love you more than your parents ever would and will, and more than that. They never tried with you, but I will, and I am. You went on a walk with me today, a walk, and I can garuntee that they never tried that with you."
-He let out an abrupt sob that I didn't realize he had growing, and abruptly wraps his arms around my body tightly. I grunt a bit as his weight was very out of the blue, and I hug him back when I catch on. His face goes to my neck and hides, regardless of how low he'll have to crouch for it, and I hold him tight in that spot.
-"." A whisper croaks out in echo on the other side of his mask. "They hated me so much that they left me."
-I rub my hand over his back in a circular motion, and I let him let it out. It didn't sound pretty, none of it. But I'm certain he needs it, and I'm not going to let him bottle it up at all. I press my lips against the bare part of his shoulder and give him a light kiss before I rest my chin there and wait. It had been a good ten minutes, and despite my body giving out to the exhaustion it stayed in place until he finally calmed. His hands went to my shoulders when he did, and he looked away from me.
-"Hey, Brahmsy." I coo. "You want me to get you some tissues?"
-He hums lowly and passes me by, reaching for the tissue box in a desk drawer. He slips his mask off and wipes the inside out before he blew his nose, and I look around, inspecting details. It wasn't until he was done that I looked back up at him to watch him sit down on the small bed while putting his mask on.
-"Is that the bed you slept in?" I ask, and he looks down at it before looking up at me. "That's like your entire top half Brahms."
-"...You're not upset?"
-"About what?" He taps the doll lightly. "No? I mean it's a little weird but it's not like teenage girls don't put their crush's shirts on their pillows so I'm not losing my mind right now."
-He puts his hands together and sets them between his knees, looking at the ground. "...Greta saw it, and she didn't like it."
-"Well, Greta didn't like a lot of things did she?" He shakes his head. "Good thing Greta isn't important now." I step forward and I ruffle up his hair.
-"Why did you come here?"
-I pause, and I shrug. "I figured it would be good to know where you kept going in case you got hurt and I needed to find you.. You're still healing right now after all." I came up with that excuse on spot and he buys it like the gullible infantile man he is.
-"To keep me safe."
-"Of course to keep you safe Brahms. You matter to me.. I want you to be happy."
-He looks up and then rests his chin against the lower part of my stomach. Then his arms wrap around my hips in a tight hug. "I want you to be happy too."
-I smile down at him. "Good.. How about we head back to bed now? I think we're way passed bed time."
-"No, I'm not tired."
-"I'll give you five goodnight kisses."
-He stands up, grabs my hand, and drags me out of the room.
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