"This show is trash," Brooks said passing me the tequila. I grasp the neck of the bottle bringing it to my lips and swallowing a huge gulp, the fiery liquid burning its way down my throat.

When I was done I passed the bottle back to Brooks. This was my second drink and I could already feel the alcohol working its way through my system.

I already felt lighter no longer weighed down from my earlier fight with Mia.

"Mhmm, that's why you can't seem to pull your eyes away from the TV," I giggled. Brooks acted as if he didn't like the show but I could tell he was really into it.

I can admit Too Hot to Handle can be a little ridiculous at times but it's highly addictive.

I watched the TV as the characters in the show struggled to adhere to the sex ban issued by Lana.

I looked over at Brooks curiously. "How long have you ever gone without sex?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He shifted his gaze from the screen and onto me, his eyebrows raising in surprise. It was the first time I'd ever asked him about his sex life.

"What?" I shrugged. "I'm curious."

A smirk formed at the edge of his lips. "The tequila is making you bold," he teased.

"Just answer my question," I laughed playfully slapping his shoulder.

"Okay," he chuckled looking up at the ceiling in thought. "Ummm about six months," he finally answered bringing his gaze back to mine.

"What about you?" He asked curiosity shining in his eyes as he drank more tequila.

"Four years," I answered without hesitation because unlike him I didn't have to think.

Brooks choked at my words removing the bottle from his lips he broke out in a coughing fit wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

I moved closer to him rubbing his back. "You okay big guy?" I asked teasingly biting back my laughter.

"Four years?" He wheezed out. "How is that possible."

"Well, when Eli..." I stopped talking as it dawned on me what I almost let slip. The smile I was wearing instantly vanished from my face, while my heart slammed against my chest with a painful thud. My wide eyes flew up to Brook's as my hand fell from his back.

"Who's Eli," curiosity and another emotion I could place mingled in his blue eyes. Jealousy maybe?

The light, teasing mood from minutes ago quickly evaporated and was now shadowed by my tragic past.

We stared at each other wordlessly, a tense silence falling between us. And instead of brushing it off, I found myself telling him the truth.

"Eli was my high school boyfriend," I paused releasing a shaky breath. "He umm.... he died, in a car accident I was in the car with him," I whispered so softly I almost thought he didn't hear me but from the horrified look on his face, I knew he did.

"Fuck, Gen," he grasped my small hand in his much larger one. "I'm so sorry, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he rasped squeezing my hand gently.

"No, I want to," I laughed sadly. "Funnily enough I have a hard time talking about this but I want to tell you," assured him. And I did, I wanted to tell Brooks about my past.

My gaze dropped to our intertwined hands as I spoke.

"I lived in Manhattan up until I was twelve, we moved into my father's childhood home in Long Island when my grandfather retired. My grandmother was originally from Boston so she wanted to move back and my parents had been talking about moving out of the city for some time so it was the perfect opportunity. My parents loved the idea of me and my brothers growing up in the home my dad grew up in," my voice sounded robotic as I spoke.

"I on the other hand was not thrilled I had to leave Mia and my other friends to go to a new school where I didn't know anyone. On my first day, I overheard some girls laughing and making fun of my height. At twelve, I was taller than most of the kids in my school," my throat felt like it was made of sandpaper as I swallowed before continuing.

"They called me a giraffe," I huffed rolling my eyes. "The joke itself was not clever but I already didn't want to be at that school and hearing those girls making fun of me was the last straw. I didn't take it well and rushed off to the bathroom to cry. When I came out of the bathroom I saw this tall, blonde boy waiting outside. He said he overheard what those girls said and he saw me when I ran into the bathroom. He wanted to make sure I was okay. He introduced himself as Eli and he walked me to class."

I remembered that day as if it was yesterday. He walked me to my next class and then promised to find me at lunch. And true to his word he did. He sat down with me at lunch where he handed me a chocolate chip cookie. He said his mom always made him chocolate chip cookies when he was having a bad day and I was having a bad day so brought me one.

"He was my first friend at my new school and over time our feelings evolved and two years later we became a couple. And the rest, as they say, was history. Until that night," my voice cracked, and my chest tightened painfully as I sucked in a sharp breath.

The memory of him still dreads up so much pain even after all these years.

I finally looked over at Brooks who remained silent since I started. When our eyes connected I felt mine burned with unshed tears, my chin wobbled as I struggled to control my emotions.

Before I knew it he pulled me into his arms and I felt my tensed shoulders loosen as his warmth wrapped around me. Sniffling I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It all happened so fast, one minute we were in his car driving to the beach, and then the next thing I knew the car went airborne, and then on impact, everything went black. Until I woke in the hospital, where they told me he was Eli didn't make. That he died on the way to the hospital. And it was my fault," I shuddered.

The sounds of Eli shouting my name and the deafening sound of shattering glass still haunted me to this day.

Brooks placed his fingers under my chin, tipping my head up until our eyes met. "What happened wasn't your fault, Genesis."

I shook my head causing his hand to fall from my face. "Yes, it was."

And then I revealed a truth that no one but my parents knew. "I was pregnant," Brooks's body stiffened against mine, as a curse fell from his lips. His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer.

"I took a pregnancy test earlier that day, I was freaking out when I saw it was positive. So I called Eli and asked him if he wanted to go for a drive to the beach that night. I was going to tell him." I laughed bitterly. "So yeah it was my fault we were out on the road that night and I didn't even get a chance to tell him."

I disentangled myself from Brooks's arms before he could say anything grasping the bottle of tequila off the coffee table. Bringing the bottle to my lips, I took two gulps. When I lifted the bottle to take a third Brooks stopped me, gently prying the bottle from my hands before it touched my lips.

"Hey, slow down," he said softly screwing the cap back on.

My lips trembled, I couldn't see Brooks through my blurred vision. "The baby didn't make it," my voice cracked as the first tear fell down my cheek, and then the floodgates opened.

Brooks pulled me into his arms a second time in the last few minutes. I buried my face in his chest as sobs racked my body.

I don't know why I told Brooks about the pregnancy. I've never told anyone about that before not even Mia. My parents only knew I was pregnant because the doctor informed them at the hospital that night.

I didn't even have a chance to wrap my head around the pregnancy, whether I wanted it or not. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt when the doctor informed me that I had a miscarriage. Effectively breaking my heart a second time that night.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that, Brooks rubbed his hand up and down my back. "But it was not your fault Gen," he whispered pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.

When the tears slowed I looked up at him. "You must think I'm a mess," I hiccuped wiping the remaining tears from my face. "Logically, I know what happened wasn't my fault but the drunk driver who crashed into us. But I can't help but blame myself."

"Everyone's a little messed up Gen, and I get it. I know what's it like to blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

"You do?" I asked

He sighed leaning his head back on the couch. "My high school girlfriend Brielle the only serious girlfriend I ever had cheated on me," he laughed humorlessly at my wide-eyed stare. "With my brother." he finished.

I stared at him in disbelief.

Brooks rarely talks about his older brother, he said that he was an asshole and they were never close. Now I knew there was more to the story.

"She was a year below me, so I had to leave her behind when I came to college. Hainsworth is almost two hours away from Boston so we said we'll make it work until she could join me the following year. But between my intense football schedule and classes, as well as her busy schedule we barely saw each other."

"By my second semester, things started to go downhill, we were drifting apart and arguing a lot she even accused me of cheating on her." Brooks paused and looked at me with an earnest expression on his face. "I never cheated on her Gen, I might fuck around a lot now but when I was with Brielle I was fully committed to her," he said. And from the serious look on his face and the conviction in his voice, I knew he was telling the truth.

I nodded and he continued. "So one weekend I decided to drive home to Boston and surprise her. But when I showed up at her house she wasn't there and when I called her she didn't answer her phone. So I decided to go to my house and with it out until I heard from her," a bitter smile pulled at the edge of his lips.

"But when I was walking to my room I heard voices coming from my brother's bedroom. Normally I didn't give a fuck who my asshole brother had in his room. But I recognized my girlfriend's voice," he scoffed shaking his head.

"When I pushed the door open she was in her underwear picking her clothes off the floor while my brother was laying naked under his sheets."

He was staring off into space like he was in some kind of trance. Like he was reliving those events.

"She swore that was the only time. That she was so drunk the night before and she can barely remember anything," he peered down at me. "Like that made a fucking difference," he said and despite the indifference in his voice, I could see the vulnerability in his eyes.

"So I broke up with her and things got crazy after that. Brielle kept showing up at my dorm or my games, crying and telling me she was sorry. Sometimes drunk out of her mind, she was acting really erratic not like her usual self. I told her mom about it and she brushed it off. But she must've talked to her because Brielle stopped showing up. About a month later I got a call from my mother, telling me that she heard from Brielle's aunt that she overdosed on coke a week earlier." he said in a pained voice.

"If I had just put my anger aside and taken note of how out of character she was acting, I could've helped her maybe she wouldn't have turned to drugs," he said his eyes brimming with guilt.

"Her parents didn't want anyone to know, that's why they didn't call me," he shook his head angrily. "Their daughter almost fucking died and all they were worried about was what people will think."

"Brooks," I whispered. "Did you get to see her?" I asked.

He shook his head. "They had already shipped her off to rehab in California. After rehab, she left to live with her aunt in London. I tried calling her a couple of times but she never answered."

"So yeah Gen, I get it."

He didn't say anything after that, and neither did I. We just silently held each other.

"You know when I suggested we drink tequila I didn't expect it would've ended with me blubbering all over you," I pulled back a little, Brooks hold around me loosening a bit as I peeked down at the wet stain on his white t-shirt courtesy of my tears.

Brooks's gaze followed mine. His face twisted in mocked disgust. "Ugh you did blubber all over me," he said with a teasing note in his voice.

I playfully wack him on his chest laughing.

"I know I said this already but I'm really glad you're here." I grinned up at him.

"There's no place I rather me." he winked playfully.

I laughed. "You're so cheesy."

"Only for you," he replied as he leaned down pressing a kiss on my temple.

He pulled back a little, his face a hairsbreadth away from mine, the smile I was wearing slowly faded, my breath quickening as I realized how close our faces were.

My eyes dropped to his lips I don't know what possessed me maybe it was the tequila or maybe it was me finally doing what I wanted to do for some time now. But I found myself leaning forward and lightly brushing my lips against his.

Pulling back our eyes met, Brooks stared back at me, as an intense look blazed in his eyes.

I opened my mouth to say something. Say what? I have no idea but before I could speak. Brook cupped my cheek in his large hand before his lips came crashing down on mine.

Gen's lips were soft against mine. She tensed a little in my arms like she didn't expect this to happen albeit she was the one who kiss me first. But her hesitation only lasted a second before her body softened against mine, her hands gripping my shoulders as she kissed me back.

This was a bad idea. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I can't seem to stop myself.

I glided my tongue over her lips and she parted her lips for me. When our tongues touched Gen moaned, without breaking the kiss she straddled my hips wrapping her arms around my neck. Curling my arms around her waist I pulled her closer until our bodies were molded together.

I groaned when the soft, swells of her breasts pressed against my chest. My fingers lightly traced over her waist which was left exposed from her cropped sweater. They slowly moved up her spine provoking a shiver from Gen as goosebumps pebbled on her heated skin. My hand found its way into her hair, twining my fingers through the curly strands, I angled her head to the side and deepened the kiss.

Our tongues gilded against each other, she tasted faintly of tequila. I breathe in the scent of her coconut shampoo that was invading my nostrils. Her scent, coupled with her taste was addictive. I wanted more but instead, I stopped myself from going further.

Wrenching my mouth from hers, Gen and I stared at each other our breaths haggard as we both attempted to catch our breaths.

"We should stop this before it goes any further," fuck I know I'm an idiot for stopping this. Because that's the last thing I want to do, what I really wanted to do was kiss her again.

Gen nodded. "Yeah, we should," she said a little breathless. Lifting herself off my lap, she retook her seat on the couch. We were both silent as we caught our breath.

Looking over at Gen, I wanted to say something but I was at a loss for words. I was still reeling from that fucking kiss.

Suddenly Gen jumped to her feet dashing out of the living room with her hand covering her mouth.

"Gen," I yelled as I stood intending to follow after her I made two steps before I accidentally stubbed my toe on the foot of the coffee table. "Motherfucker," I shouted that shit fucking hurt. Instead of focusing on the pain, I made my way out of the living room in search of Gen.

I found her inside her bathroom throwing up in the toilet.

"Shit," I said before I dropped to my knees behind her. I gathered her long, curly hair in my hands, holding it away from her face.

"You know it's a massive blow to my ego for a girl to throw up right after she kissed me," I said teasingly.

Gen laughed, then groaned. "Ugh shut up, this is so embarrassing," she said resting her head against her hand on the rim of the toilet. "I should not I have drank all that tequila," she said attempting to stand to her feet when she was finished.

I helped her up, and after washing her face and brushing her teeth I walked to her bed.

"I'm gonna grab my phone quick," I told her as she plopped down on the bed, her hair splaying out across her pillow as she stretched out on the bed.

"Okay," Gen mumbled a yawn leaving her mouth.

Leaving her room, I made my way back to the living room. Grabbing both Gen's and my phone off the coffee table, I then walked to the front door making sure it was locked.

When I returned to Gen's room, she was passed out on the bed. Smiling I sat next to her on the bed, lifting my hand I gently brushed some hair out of her face my fingers then traced over the smattering of freckles on the bridge of her nose.

She looked beautiful.

She grumbled something nonsensical in her sleep, my hands falling from her face as her eyes opened a little.

"Brooks," she whispered sleepily.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Stay," she mumbled before her eyes fell shut again.

Stretching out on the bed, I rest my head on my arm as I looked up at the ceiling.

With Gen sound asleep beside me. The events of tonight came rushing back to me. I looked over at Gen, her eyes were still a little puffy from crying earlier. I felt something crack in my chest at watching her break apart like that tonight.

She has been through a lot no wonder she was a little closed off. But she trusted me enough to open up to me tonight about something that painful.

Gen and I both discovered some new things about each tonight. But I also discovered something about myself.

My feelings for Gen are much deeper than I thought.