The sulky wife drank a pot of vinegar as he saw him talking with the Empress. The sulky wife was even more sulky when he drank the tea made by the Empress. His wide-blooming smile felt like they had been stabbed by a knife. The husband was worrying about what happened earlier when his brother talked him, forget it! Even he doesn't want to know!

Li Jie drank a mouthful of tea that the servant had poured in his cup. Thinking about his unusual behavior, he recollected his thoughts and instantaneously woke up. He spat a little "thank you" and sipped his tea lightly, as if nothing had happened earlier. The Empress and the Emperor were shocked again. The General's wife seemed like he had a lot of personalities.

The atmosphere went harmonious again. The royal guard at the back of the royal couple had shut his mouth all the time and looked passively at them as if he never cared. Li Jie looked at his brother and felt uncomfortable. What happened before that Chang Bao resented the General to his wits? It was as if he never befriended him nor they have been friends before.

However, he really seemed annoyed when his brother talked about Delun's first love. Imagining Delun with another person felt like his heart was plunged by a knife that it bleeds pitifully. No matter how he mended it, it could never bear the pain. He never really admitted it, but deep inside he knew how he felt. Ever in his life he never really cared about his personal matters. After all, who will care about him? He grew up as a criminal and all his words were contradictory towards other people. Does trust even exist? Can he even trust himself? He was a villain in the eyes of the people who thinks they're innocent. But hell, the people who thinks themselves as virtuous even tortured a villain kid such as himself. What the hell is virtuous? What is righteous? What the hell are those words? Does it exist?

For him, it was bullshit.

But, this feeling he had, it was weird and strange. He never encountered it before. He looked at Delun silently, Delun's face was shining under his eyes, he was fascinated by him and wanted to be with him. But a part of him didn't want to do it.

They made a deal, they even swore that they will not going to be in love with each other. But why? Why did he treated Li Jie like this?

He was confused and downhearted. But outside, he smiled like nothing happened. Maybe his heart was not used to this that's why he was feeling weird.

After their visit then they went home. They entered the carriage and ready to set off. Delun was not dumb, he knew something was wrong with his wife. He asked him before, but his wife just budged it and said that it was nothing. He really wanted to know, but he was scared that he might annoyed Li Jie. Thus, he suppressed his thoughts and looked at him worriedly.

"Honey, what do you want to eat tonight?" Delun who was unaware of Li Jie's thoughts asked, his intimate tone made Li Jie's heart quivered. Li Jie looked at him amd smiled, "Meat."

"Okay, then we will eat meat." Delun said and smiled. He then laid his head on Li Jie's shoulder. Li Jie tensed, he subconsciously glanced at Li Jie's head on his shoulder. He could feel his chest getting heavier, his heartbest went faster, and his blood boiled with excitement. He took a deep breath and blinked, he called Delun and was checking if he was asleep.

"Delun?" Li Jie called, but he got no response.

'He was already asleep.'

He took a deep breath and sighed. He them held the unconscious man's hand tightly.

"Why are you doing this to me? You said that we will not going to love each other and here you are, here you are again. Why do you keep doing this? Are you really, in love with me?" Li Jie whispered as he looked at Delun's face. His face full of worry and pertubation confronted Delun's own tranquility and placidity, then touched his face as his emotion swirled deep down in his chest.

"You said that you won't fall in love with me, the same as me won't fall in love with you. Why do you make me hope that there's something between us? Why do you care about me so much? Do yoo know that you're making me paranoid?"

"I'm scared that in the end, you'll leave me behind. I'm scared that in the end, only I have this feeling, and I was the only one who loved you at all."

"I'm really angry when my brother told me about your first love. At first, I was really unaware about my feelings, and hardly told myself that there's nothing wrong about me having this feeling. But as it gets longer the harder I controlled myself. Is there something wrong with me?"

"Delun, are you acting like this because you won't make the other party who wanted to harm you and me not notice? That this was only an agreement and not true at all won't be noticed by him? Or, maybe, that's right. I don't know what's inside your mind after all." Li Jie sighed, he held his chest full of emotions every time he breathed. His eyes went blurred and it sting. Later, his tears fall without his consent.

His emotions were uncontrollable that he really cried. He laid his head above Delun's head and sniffed.

"I think, I really love you." 'Even though I didn't want to admit it.

But hopefully one day, you will see right through me. I will wait for that day when you saw my true emotions, my true self, and not the Li Jie that existed here. If it's possible, even if it's only one percent, I will wait for that one percent to happen. My only wish is you by my side.'

But, that confession was buried in the dust.

'If only you could hear my thoughts, If only you could make me tell you, just one probability, I will wait for that day.

If only I could bring myself to tell you, I will make you mine and hug you everyday.

But I am a coward, I'm afraid of the word called trust.'

'One day when I'm ready, I will tell you, even if you try to push me away.

I just need time.'

Li Jie's thoughts were vivid and true. His blurred thoughts went clear and he smiled faintly. Now that his mind was clear, Li Jie will not hold back anymore.

.

.

.

When they arrived at the manor, he tapped Delun's other shoulder, signaling that they already arrived. Delun squinted his eyes and smiled, he kissed Li Jie's cheeks.

Li Jie went red all of a sudden and scowled at Delun, telling him that he was hungry. Delun obeyed his wife's command and went inside the manor.

Delun commanded the maidservant to prepare meat dishes and for his wife. The maidservant then rushed towards the kitchen and prepared the meal.

"Honey, come here." Hearing the pet name Delun always called him, Li Felt giddy inside his thought as if he was injected by chicken blood and obediently moved his body on Delun's side.

Just as he was about to sit on the side, Delun embraced Li Jie's waist and pulled him to his lap. Li Jie's face was red as the reddest apple, he clenched hand and covered his face with embarrassment.

Because of this, how can he calm down!?

"You said, you want to study medicine. When will you going to start?" Delun asked as he rested his head on Li Jie's shoulder. Li Jie calmed his heart and caressed Delun's hand that was holding his waist.

Delun found it strange, why was his wife so different today?

"Hmm. Maybe tomorrow. I will go to my brother's store and buy herbs there."

"Do you need company?"

"Uh, no need! I'm just going for a visit. And also by herbs at the same time. I'll buy seeds and plant it to your herb garden."

"Flower garden."

"Right flower garden."

Delun then chuckled and caressed Li Jie's head with his other hand. Not a while later, their dinner is served.

After they ate dinner, the two went to take a bath and sleep.

.

.

.

When Li Jie woke up, Delun already left to the palace. Li Jie felt disappointed that Delun didn't wake him up to witnesd him leave. He pouted and looked at the empty roof, dazed.

Not for long when his servant knocked on his door, telling him to wake up.

"Master, time to wake up." Li Wei said, as he knocked the door twice.

Li Jie mever responded and sighed. He then opened the door on Li Jie's room and found that his master was dozing off in the morning.

"Master." Li Wei said hoarsely, as if he was coaxing the abandoned wife in the bed.

"Li Wei, I love Delun." Li Jie said and Li Wei raised his brows.

'All this time, you never knew? Well, now you know.'

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Li Jie asked irritatingly. He then looked at Li Wei's undisturbed look.

"You...you already knew?!" Li Jie yelped, shocked at the servant's reaction towards his confession.

"Master, you are too obvious. It's just that, you are dense." Li Wei said as he looked at his master's dazed look.

"Why didn't you even tell me?"

"Master, why should I tell you? You should ve the one telling me."

"But still! Never mind. I want to go to my brother's pharmacy. You do your work."

"Yes, master." Li Wei looked at Li Jie once more before he left at the palace. He then prepared himself to go outside.

Before he go, Li Jie was surprised seeing Jiao-long outside.

"Young Madame, the General said to accompany you." Jiao-long said as he kowtowed. Li Jie sighed and patted his shoulder.

The guard, who was patted by his first love's shoulder was struck by lightning, he dare not to move or stare at Li Jie and he kept lowering his head.

"Well, prepare me a carriage and wait for me at the gate."

"Yes, Young Madame." Delun hurriedly ran and went swoosh from Li Jie's sight.

'Ah. He really is angry at me.' He thought. At the same time, he felt happy because Delun was worrying about his safety. With this, Delun worrying was enough to make his heart flutter.

As being said, Jiao-long prepared the carriage and ready to set off. Li Jie walked through the gate and happily went inside the carriage. The nervous Jiao-long, ordered the driver to set off.

.

.

.

The day was fine and clear, the carriage wheel was rolling on the road. Beside the carriage was a fine and young guard walking beside it and guarding the carriage, as if inside was his most precious treasure.

As they arrived at the destination, the carriage stopped and Jiao-long opened the carriage's door. Jiao-long took a glimpse at Li Jie's face and hurriedly looked at the ground. He was afraid that he might stare at his face and never look on his way again.

Love is really terrifying.

But Jiao-long pondered why the Young Madame didn't get off from the carriage and asked him stiffly.

Young Madame, is there something wrong?" Jiao-long asked as he still looked down.

"Is, is my face alright?" Li Jie said nervously. He missed his brother so much that he was too excited earlier. Li Jie tapped his face and looked at the Guard. However, the guard still looked down.

"Um, my face is right here?" Li Jie said, confused why the guard was looking down.

Jiao-long knew this was going to happen and hesitatingly looked at Li Jie.

In his sight, a fair and small, round face with a patch on his left eye, his glowing emerald eye on the right was astonishing. His lips were as pink as fresh cherries and his long hair was swaying. Jiao-long stared and thought he was lost, lost at Li Jie's smile. Jiao-long then said faintly,

"You are beautiful, Young Madame."

'And i'm afraid, I can't stop myself from loving you more.

And it hurts.'