Kelton woke before the sun. The fire had long gone out, yet the air was unseasonably warm. He would have preferred to remain asleep, but his body insisted that he find some privacy and relieve himself. Gossamer was still sleeping. Either Hector or Serenity had the same idea as Kelton. He could feel one of them down the hill. Moving downward, he chose a different direction.

The relief he felt when he was done taking care of his body's needs was worth the loss of sleep. The air was still, and the birds had yet to wake. A rare silence had overtaken the forest. Kelton stood among the trees absorbing the calmness, which had a beauty all its own.

The peace lasted only a moment. It was disturbed by something more pleasant. A voice of perfect pitch floating lightly in song. It had been years since Kelton had heard music. The Brethren had long banned it as an afront to the Goddess. He remembered an old woman who had traded Gossamer a song for a story. Then it had only made him smile. The tune he heard now, tugged at his soul.

Kelton moved slowly toward the music, not wanting to do anything that might disturb its flow. It mattered little that he understood none of the words. The language was unimportant, only the sweet sound mattered. He neared a tiny stream and stepped over it. The melody was coming from upstream, around a bend that bordered a small hill. As he crept closer, he heard soft splashing. He crawled, stopping by a large tree. He sat with his back to the tree knowing that the angelic voice was Serenity's. She was bathing just the other side of the tree. He knew better than to disturb her, but he couldn't leave. His eyes closed and he listened.

The song had a pleasing cadence. The unrecognizable words repeated every so often, and Kelton found himself waiting impatiently for the verses he now recognized. He sang along in his head, knowing his voice would only butcher the perfection he heard. A louder splash followed by the immediate cessation of singing broke the spell. Kelton stood quickly and rounded the tree thinking something was horribly wrong. What rose from the water took his breath away.

Serenity stood in thigh high pool with eyes closed, lifting her soaking hair over her head with both hands. Kelton couldn't move. His definition of beauty had changed the night before, and now it was forever altered again. Water shimmied down her skin, following curves and falling from places that Kelton had only imagined before. The silken purity of her skin, the proudness of her breasts. She was a perfection he never knew possible.

The scream caught Kelton by surprise. He stood there, his brain struggling with what to do as Serenity covered herself with her arms.

"I...didn't..."

"You lech!" Serenity lowered herself into the small pool as best she could. "You sick little boy!"

"I...heard..."

"Stop looking at me!"

"I...didn't"

"Go away!"

Kelton turned and ran. He had never seen anyone so angry. The thought that she hated him tore at his gut. Everything from the moment he first saw her had been a disaster. It was worse than killing. It was worse than anything. He desperately wanted to undo it all or possibly throw himself onto his sword. She was heaven, and he was the scum that lived below the earth.

'What did you do?" Hector met him halfway back to the camp with his daggers drawn. Kelton stopped in front of him hoping those daggers would be driven into his chest and end his misery.

"I didn't mean too," Kelton said. He didn't realize his eyes were bleeding tears. "She was bathing, and I thought...I saw her...now she hates me." Hector dropped the daggers to his side. There was a concern on his face that Kelton didn't understand.

"Go." Hector cocked his head toward the camp. Kelton stood for a second before he realized there would be no reprieve from the daggers. He walked around Hector and headed back to the camp, slower with his head slumped.

"What happened?" Gossamer asked when Kelton arrived back at camp.

"Can we leave?" Kelton felt it would be better to be gone before Serenity returned. Avoiding the look on her face was the best thing to hope for.

"Shouldn't we wait. Share some breakfast."

"I don't want to wait." Kelton moved to his pack and began loading up his sleeping blanket. Gossamer remained still and confused. "I want to leave now."

"What did you do?"

"Everything wrong. Can we just leave?" Kelton wiped his eyes and looked up from his pack. Gossamer must have seen something in his eyes because he began packing quickly. Kelton's chest tightened when he heard Serenity arguing with Hector in a low voice as they entered the camp. The look she gave Kelton when she emerged drove a spear into his belly, then twisted it.

"We're...we're leaving," Kelton stuttered. He hated that his mouth didn't work right when she was near.

"Done spying on me. Seen enough?"

"Enough, Serenity," Hector said with more superiority than he had expressed all night.

"I'm...sorry," Kelton said.

"Sorry? Why, because you were caught?" Serenity's hands found her hips and her face morphed into severe angles that cut at Kelton's will. "You take liberties where none are offered. Not to mention, an unbathed, scarred, and clumsy boy is the last person I would offer such things too."

Kelton's hand unconsciously covered his scar. Nothing he had experienced had prepared him for the hostility he saw on her face. He stepped back from her stare, tripped on his pack and landed on his backside. Dreams shattered and thoughts tangled themselves as he struggled to return to his feet.

"You've said enough." Gossamer's anger was in his words. He helped Kelton to his feet. "We're leaving, that should solve the problem." Kelton turned his head away from Serenity and wiped his traitorous eyes again. He felt small, useless. A hunk of wasted flesh. The most beautiful woman in the world thought him unfit for her presence. He had messed up everything. Hatred of himself began to replace his shame.

"I want to start over," Kelton said and turned to Serenity. His next thought became lost when he looked into her angry eyes.

"Start over? Didn't see enough the first time." Serenity started to move forward as if she meant to strike at Kelton. Hector grabbed her arm and held her back.

"Best if you leave," Hector said calmly. Gossamer nodded to him and lifted Kelton's pack. Kelton slung the pack over his shoulder, his jaw aching at how hard he was gritting his teeth. It was all he could do not to let any more emotion out. He feared he might break down in front of Serenity. Death would be preferable. They left in silence.

~~~~~

"A wasted trip," Serenity told Hector. "The boy is obviously not Kushiel's Answer. He's just a sad perverted boy with a sword he probably can't even wield." Hector grunted in disgust. He ignored her words and continued packing with unnecessary force.

"He spied on me, Hector. You think I should have allowed it as if I wore the wilted rose?" Hector stopped packing. He paused a moment before he turned to Serenity.

"I think you should have been more forgiving."

"To that mongrel? I saw the lust in his eyes - he would have taken it as permission."

"It was not lust you saw. He would have sat in the fire if you had asked him."

"What?" Serenity asked confused.

"He was smitten at first sight of you. Now that you've cut him down, he's probably thinking of hanging himself."

"Don't be ridiculous. He's a scarred fool who tried to take advantage me. If he feels bad, all the better. Mayhap he'll think twice about doing it to some other girl."

"How many girls do you think he'll have a chance to deceive? With the Brethren and the King's own chasing him down, he'll be lucky to be alive by the next moon. At least now, he'll die miserable. You've seen to that."

"I should spread my legs for him? Is that what you think? A foolish boy starts something he can't finish, and I should gift him with what I hold most dear."

"You should have been kind! You don't know all of his story, and now it will end with him thinking less of himself."

"Bah, he'll forget about me before the next day." Serenity turned back to her gear. She was still angry, and wet tangled hair didn't help. Kelton had interrupted her morning ritual, causing her to skip the things that made her feel beautiful.

"He heard you singing is all. Something that no one should hear, I might add."

"I thought I was alone."

"Well, you weren't. The boy only followed the sound, and having heard it before I don't blame him."

"Well, he just stared at me, even after I yelled."

"A life in the forest and the first naked woman he sees is you. Most likely, he was mesmerized. At his age, I would have done the same. You were his first and most likely his last. Now, not even a fond memory for the boy to die with."

"I'm not here to provide lustful thoughts for boys."

"Do you know how he got that scar you kept pointing out to him?"

"An accident. Probably fell on his sword trying to play soldier."

"Gossamer and I spoke while you were bathing. It was no accident. He did it on purpose."

"He's more of a fool than I thought," Serenity said as she rolled her eyes. She didn't like the guilt that Hector was trying build in her. The boy spied and got what he deserved.

"They found a red-haired boy poled in a town. Killed by the King's own because he fit Kelton's look and age. Gossamer tried to stop him, but Kelton scarred his face so that the soldiers would be able to tell the difference between him and innocents."

"What?" Serenity felt unwanted guilt rising.

"He has killed a brother, some cutthroat that was threatening a mother and child, and soldier that meant to run him through. He knows how to use that sword."

"How was I supposed to know? When he wasn't sitting, he was tripping over himself."

"Men become fools around women they admire. He couldn't think straight and look at you at the same time. Mayhap, you were too quick to discount him as Kushiel's Answer."

"You heard them, there was no witness. Besides, Kushiel's Answer will be a man, not a boy."

"There's nothing of age in the prophecy."

"It's inferred. My love will not be spent on a mere boy. A man, strong with morals will carry it to victory. You saw the woven bracelet he wore, and you know its meaning. Those two do more than thieving to survive."

"Again, nothing in the prophecy precludes him, bracelet or not."

"No witness and I could never love one such as he," Serenity insisted.

"You fear your role in this." Hector turned away from Serenity. The argument was devolving into uselessness.

"Yes, I fear my role in Kushiel's words. But as my mother taught me, I will not shy away from it. I will teach a future daughter the same when it comes to it. It is I, or my daughter, or all the daughters that follow mine who will make the choice, not you." Serenity said it with a firmness that Hector felt compelled to acknowledge. He dropped to his knee in front her and bowed his head.

"I forget myself, my lady. The choice will always be yours, and I will guard you till it is made or you've passed on the burden." Hector's eyes were closed in contrition.

"And I was too rough on the boy," Serenity said with a sigh as she pulled Hector to his feet. He towered over her and yet his subservience was obvious. "I have shamed myself in your eyes, which hurts me deeply. I am truly sorry." Hector smiled at her. She smiled back. Forgiveness between them was necessary and welcome.

"I hope it isn't as you say," Serenity added. "Mayhap, he wasn't as hurt as you believe."

"Could be it will give him the anger he needs to survive longer." Hector shrugged. Serenity nodded, hating the guilt that was festering inside her. She would have to be more careful not to do unnecessary damage in the future. At least they found their quarry quickly, or Kelton found them in this case. She could head back home to normalcy until the next would be Answer emerges.

"We should stop and find some honey in that village we passed," Serenity said as her mind drifted to returning home. "Saddy's boy should be over the pox now, and I promised him a treat." It softened the guilt to think of helping another. Saddy's son took the pox harder than most. The nights Serenity spent taking care of him should account for something and wash away some of the guilt.

~~~~~

"What happened?" Gossamer asked when they had put distance between Serenity and themselves.

"I saw something I shouldn't," Kelton said cryptically. "Now she hates me."

"What did you see?"

"Her." Kelton didn't elaborate until Gossamer tilted his head to indicate he should explain. "All of her. She was bathing and, well, I thought something was wrong, so I checked." Gossamer started laughing. "I was just listening to her sing. I didn't mean to do it."

"She was singing?"

"I didn't know it could sound like that. You've told me of some who sang well and that old woman a few winters ago was pleasing enough. But this was different. I was sitting and listening when it suddenly stopped." Kelton shook his head. "I should have waited and not checked on her."

"An honest mistake," Gossamer said, hiding a smile.

"There's something wrong with me," Kelton admitted. "I couldn't look away. She screamed at me, and I still didn't stop."

"She's beautiful."

Kelton stopped with one leg over a fallen tree trunk he was traversing. He looked at Gossamer and sighed. "More beautiful than I thought possible. It's stuck in my mind, and it won't go away. She hates me, and I can't get her out of my head."

"Give it time." Gossamer chuckled. "And welcome to manhood."

"This happens to everyone?"

"Well, you did become more stupid than most, but yes."

"I wanted to say things. The words got lost every time I looked at her. It was terrifying, and yet I didn't want it to end." Kelton closed his eyes. "Simple things I never think about became difficult because I thought about them. I couldn't even hold onto my tea without spilling it."

"I noticed."

"She did too. Now she hates me."

"And what would happen if she liked you?"

"I don't know," Kelton admitted. It was a nice thought though.

"Do you think the Brethren would stop searching for you? The King's own would let you pass unmolested, and you continue your life with her."

"No, I guess not."

"Mayhap, it's for the best. You would have only added her death to ours." Gossamer placed his hand on Kelton's shoulder. "I'm sorry she didn't see you the way I know you to be." Kelton finished climbing over the trunk. Gossamer followed.

"I now know what you meant when you told me about wanting to lay with women," Kelton said.

"It's a powerful thing," Gossamer agreed.

"Does it ever go away?"

"No, and the women only get more beautiful." Kelton didn't think that was possible. He had already met the most beautiful. Anyone else will pale in comparison. For the first time, he felt lucky his life was to be shortened. He didn't think he could stand being hated by Serenity forever.