Chapter Seventeen

The Boy with a Tattoo on his Chest

After avoiding Leon all weekend Savannah agreed to let him come over for dinner on Sunday night.

The truth was, she wasn't angry at him, she was angry at herself for letting her feelings lead them to this.

She felt like she had no control over her herself, he life, her feelings.

By burying those feelings so deep inside her, she let it manifest into the ball of confusion and mixed emotion it had become.

She was losing herself because she was in denial with what was inside her, outside her, in front of her, what makes her, her.

She paced her room waiting for him to arrive, contemplating whether or not to drop this truth bomb on Leon.

She always felt comfortable voicing how she felt, regarding anything to Leon, but something this detrimental to their friendship, may cause more problems than it solves.

She felt like it was too early to tell whether the feelings she had were just a form of a temporary crush, or if it was the first stage of falling head over heals in love with Leon.

She refrained from biting her nails, in nervousness and calmed herself by reading the book by her favourite poet, Leon gave to her for her birthday.

Savannah wouldn't usually be this nervous to see Leon, but her friendship with him was riding on how she felt when she saw him.

She quietly read a poem about love in Mailine's book,

Love is as innocent as a child's eyes,

As vast and deep as the night skies

Yet a dangerous tool that inflicts hurt

Pain and loneliness when it runs as dry as a desert

Its not black or white, but a spectrum of rainbows

It's the sharp thorns but also the petals of a red rose

The pain of love when giving but not receiving

Separating the truth from all the deceiving

Hurting so hard your chest is heaving

Because the love of your life is thinking of leaving

And hope becomes the danger in believing

That they will come back and you meant a lot to them

But the root of love has plenty of stems

So when on dies another grows

And those who give it, in the end, will be the ones that impose

Savannah couldn't decide if it made her feel better or worst but it sure helped her calm down.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, "come in!"

Leon walked through the door with a bouquet of daisies wrapped in brown paper.

She got butterflies in her stomach when she laid her eyes on him, she couldn't work out if it was because she was nervous or because she was apparently in love with him.

"For you, m'lady," he smiled, handing out the bouquet,

Savannah took them and smiled at him, she laid it in a vase next to her ash tree plant that had grown healthily and tremendously in the first month of Spring.

"Listen Leon, I've got to tell you something," by this point Savannah was unaware what was going to come out of her mouth next, she was letting her heart completely take control of the situation.

"So we're going to get straight into the deep stuff huh?" Leon nervously chuckled while scratching the back of his head.

Leon regularly fiddled with his hair, but it wasn't until now that Savannah had found it irresistibly adorable.

"Savannah I'm sorry for never putting you first, you deserve better." He began unexpectedly.

"You're such a good friend Sav, that it becomes so easy for me to take advantage of you and for that I truly apologise... it's never my intention to hurt you Savannah...

"I've never wanted to feel closer to you, especially since this is our senior year.

"We should be celebrating our friendship, not finding ways to distance ourselves from each other," he finished.

Savannah was numb, she couldn't feel or see things clearly, but she made sense of Leon's words.

He was right. They both wanted to make this year a memorable one in their friendship.

Savannah wasn't going to find ways to cause conflict in their friendship, even if it meant keeping this deep dark secret that weighed heavily on her heart, locked away in a forbidden part of her brain.

she sighed and agreed politely.

It hurt her to pretend like nothing was wrong, but if it meant maintaining her relationship with Leon, so be it.

"What were you going to say?" he asked,

"pretty much everything you just said," she breathed exhaustedly.

That night Anita arrived home.

Savannah thought it would be a good idea to stay awake to greet and comfort her but later figured it's best to give her mother some space and time to mourn.

She never really knew what to do in these types of situations.

For the week that Anita had been home, though it had been nice to have her back, she hadn't been acting like herself.

She was numb and detached, it was always as if her mind and body were in different parts of the world.

Nobody knew what to do, not even Savannah's father.

Savannah assured Ben that their mother will cheer up soon enough and come back to herself, she just wished she believed it.

Her father offered to take her shopping for a gown for her upcoming formal because her mother was still grieving.

After an exhausting week, Savannah and Leon were doing some quiet study in Savannah's room.

They were silent, each doing their own work as soft, relaxing music played in the background.

The two had just come back from school, but they were too lazy to change out of their uniforms.

Things were going well for them, on Leon's part anyway.

Savannah tried to keep her physical distance and avoid as much skin contact with Leon as possible.

She felt drawn to him, in a way she's never been before and she could feel it mutate, becoming stronger every time they touched or she set her eyes on him.

She did her best to keep busy when hanging out with him, inhibiting her mind from wondering and her heart from wanting.

She still had a flicker of hope that burned like a candle inside her, that these feelings were just of a temporary crush, that she could blame on her chaotic teenage hormones.

"Hey, should I leave the slow music for the end of the night or more towards the beginning?" asked Leon with a pencil in his mouth and a notebook on his lap.

"Maybe in the middle? So people could have a blast at the very beginning and the end, with a little cool off sesh in the middle," replied Savannah.

"I like your thinking, it's a shame you weren't in the committee," said Leon,

"devastating..." Savannah replied sarcastically.

"Who do you think Mitchell's partner is?" he asked,

"I don't know... look Lee, shouldn't you be studying mate?" retorted Savannah.

He ignored her completely and asked,

"who do you think will be named king and queen?"

"I don't care," sang Savannah.

Which was true, she was all for school orientated celebratory events with her fellow classmates that she's known for six years of her life.

But the concept of popularity contest in naming a male and female student, was something she didn't agree with.

Why pick out a rose in a field full of flowers?

"Oh my goodness...." Spoke Leon softly, inducing silence that made Savannah think something was wrong.

She looked at him questioningly as he stared into space looking like he had made a discovery.

Savannah stayed silent, prompting him to speak so she could get back to her work.

"I never asked you," he said softly,

"asked me what," questioned Savannah.

Leon got off the floor and approached Savannah who was on her desk studying.

He took a daisy from the vase and knelt down on one knee.

Staring at her adoringly as she stared back in pleasant surprise.

He was being overly dramatic, but that's Leon.

He took a deep breath smiled and spoke,

"Savannah Brown, will you be my partner to the formal, like you have been my partner, my whole life?" he asked.

Savannah's insides flooded with warmth.

It was an endearing gesture and Savannah didn't want to inhibit herself from appreciating it because she was battling her feelings for him.

She smiled and took the daisy,

"Of course, I will, you idiot," she smiled uncontrollably.

Leon smiled and placed his hands over Savannah's.

That simple, delicate, contact with her skin made a sense of longing wash over her.

Like this was meant to be.

She controlled her breathing but was incapable of doing anything about her pounding heart.

By avoid skin contact with Leon, her body longed for it more, and now that they were here, hand in hand, she never wanted him to let go.

"Lets dance shall we?" he asked rhetorically, gently pulling on Savannah's hands in an effort to get her to get up.

Savannah didn't want to.

Her mind was racing trying to find an excuse to but her heart was in her mouth.

She didn't like where this was going, it wasn't going to help the situation any way, she felt her feeling for him rapidly take over her body as she watched hopelessly.

She reluctantly got up, and danced to the slow music playing, he swung her around and giggled madly,

having no clue of the battle taking place inside Savannah between her mind, heart and body.

She tried to smile and laugh to distract herself from doing anything she might regret.

She got lucky in getting away when kissing Leon, but a second time, on her part would be chaotic.

She was dizzy, all the voices in her head were telling her different things and she couldn't take it.

Leon swung her out then swung her into his arm, Savannah gasped out loud, Leon chuckled clearly mistaking her desire for him for innocent pleasant surprise.

She bit her tongue so hard, she felt it bleed as the taste of blood filled her mouth.

After being so close to someone for so many years, the two had their fair share of skin contact.

They wrested, hugged, linked arms, held hands, cuddled and gave each other piggy-backs.

Nothing changed, except for the feelings Savannah got every time Leon touched her.

He then dipped her carefully, lowering her towards the ground.

Savannah was too caught up her mind to realise they'd been dancing until this point.

She panicked, realising that her face was merely inches away from Leon.

She involuntarily struggled in Leon's arms, he couldn't hold on to her.

She slipped from his arms and felt herself falling.

Her reflexes kicked in as she grabbed hold of Leon's button-down school shirt in and attempt to stop herself from falling but all she seemed to do;

was rip off three or four buttons of his shirt and fall to the ground even harder.

She opened her eyse to see Leon standing above here trying to stifle his laughter.

"I'm so sorry," he laughed, as he held out a hand, helping Savannah up.

Savannah averted his eyes while she tried to collect herself.

Coming to think of it, she was actually glad she had a reason to stop their close dancing, it was like torture to her soul.

"Oh shoot! Sorry about your shirt," she said looking at him while he tried to piece his shirt together.

His bare chest was exposed and the buttons of his shirt were scattered on Savannah's bedroom floor.

"Sorry about dropping you," he breathed, grinning at her.

Savannah stared at Leon's tan, exposed, chest, analysing the damage she'd done to his shirt when she saw something that drained her lungs from air.

"What's that?" she asked, panicked, pointing to his chest.

"Oh..." he said.

Leon lifted his shirt to the side to exposed an intricate black tattoo on his left chest.

It was possibly the most beautiful thing Savannah had ever seen.

There was a palm tree Leaf in the middle, surrounded by two ash-tree leaves.

At the bottom of the beautiful artwork was a quote that Savannah recognised instantly from the very first poem she wrote.

"Don't reach for the ceiling, when you can reach for the sky."

The hairs on Savannah's arms stood, blown away by the beauty of it.

She traced her finger on his chest, "when?" asked Savannah absentmindedly,

"about two weeks ago... it was a present from my parents... their way of saying; 'you've been a responsible adult for a year, have a tattoo for your 19th year of life,'" he said chuckling.

"It was inspired by you, y'know," he said as Savannah nodded, incapable of detaching her eyes from his chest.

"See, the ash-tree leaves represent you," he pointed to the leaves on each side of the palm tree leaf, "and the palm tree leaf in the middle represents me," he smiled proudly, looking at Savannah.

"Lee it's beautiful," she breathed, Leon shrugged, "I didn't want to show you until it properly healed, since it was so influenced by you," he said scratching the back of his head.

Savannah was so moved, she never felt more loved and appreciated than she did at this moment.

This reminded her of all the reasons why she loved Leon the human being, not romantically, just as a person.

Now that she thought about it, over the past weeks, her judgements of Leon had been cloudy, derived from his recent actions which he meant no harm in.

She wished she could blame it on the stress of school, but deep down she knew she wasn't being the greatest friend to Leon because of her own inner turmoil.

"This bit, I kinda got from your poem," he laughed and pointed to the calligraphic writing, below the tattoo, "it means a lot to me... don't sue me," he joked.

Savannah's overwhelming appreciative love for Leon overpowered her confusing feelings of attraction to him.

For the first time in many weeks, she saw him as what he had always been, a loyal friend who lifts her higher than anyone ever did, or ever could.