I pretty much slept all of yesterday afternoon until Gee woke me up and gave me a mix of rice and vegetables for supper. Something light and easy, I suppose.

I took a shower after that, but the hot water hurt the scrape on my shin from where Charlotte had kicked me. I tried to do some sit-ups like I do every night, but it hurt my side. So, I just went to bed. Now it's Friday morning. I panic when I check my alarm clock, only to see it's past 10AM. The first thought that goes through my head is, "how did I sleep for so long?" But that concern is replaced with a new one when I realize that I'm late for school.

Extremely late.

"Gee!" I yell.

"Yeah?" He asks frantically, running into my bedroom. It's like he was expecting it, he got here so fast. "Are you okay!?"

"Yeah, but why didn't you wake me up like three hours ago!? I've already missed all of first class!"

"I thought you could use a day off. Relax after yesterday, you know?"

"I mean, I guess so. It's not really necessary..." It's true, it's not necessary, but I'm secretly relieved he let me sleep in. I wasn't looking forward to facing everyone at school, who have undoubtedly heard about what happened.

"It's okay to take a day off once in a while," He insists. "You deserve it, Evie."

"Alright... thanks, I guess."

He smiles at me, "Let me go make you some breakfast," Then leaves my room before I can come up with an excuse.

It's okay, Evelyn, you skipped lunch yesterday, therefore this is just compensating for that. But, think. You have a valid excuse; you were beat up, you pathetic girl. You have a headache, your side is in pain. You. Can't. Eat.

When he comes back, he hands me a plate of toast with scrambled eggs. "You're spoiling me, Gee!" I say with forced positivity.

"Only the best for you, darling." I've always wanted to be called darling. It's such a lovely word. A much superior term of endearment than, I don't know, "baby" or "sugar" or something gross like that.

Gerard sits in a chair beside my bed, kind of in the corner of my room. It's a pretty cool chair. It's black. He said it was in his office before but thought it looked better in here.

I take small, slow bites. I'm hungry, I think, but is breakfast really necessary to me anymore? I don't think so. I've been getting by just fine without it, anyway.

He takes notice of my actions, though, "You feeling okay, Eve?" He asks softly.

"Um... I- I have a headache, I guess. It's nothing." I make my voice sound more sad and tired when I say "it's nothing" for added realism. I'm getting increasingly better at lying, and I know I should feel some remorse, but I just can't bring myself to care.

"Aw, Kiddo," He says sympathetically. "I called the school yesterday while you were napping. Charlotte is suspended for three days. That was the best I could do."

I nod and put my almost full plate on my nightstand. The thought of finishing it makes me feel sick for real.

He looks at me sadly, "I'll get you some water, okay? And an Advil."

Still, I don't feel bad that I'm lying. It's my fucked up head telling me to do it, so it's not really my fault, is it? That voice with the ideas that consume me, increasingly more often. "Don't eat this" "That was too much, go exercise it off" "You're disgusting and unloveable, Evelyn" "Fat."

What I do feel bad about, though, is that the work that Gee is putting in to care for me is often redundant. Making me food that I don't finish, trying to help me with homework when my grades are probably already suffering anyway, doing everything in his power to make me happy and protect me when he'll never be able to protect me from the torture I endure within my own mind.

• • •

I had just been reading Harry Potter and feeling sorry for myself when my phone buzzed.

Hey, Evie, Emerald's text message lights up my screen.

Hi! I text back.

I had previously been considering just telling whoever was trying to talk to me to piss off because I wasn't in the mood, but this is Emerald we're talking about. We've barely been apart two days and I'm longing for her to be next to me. For her to look at me with her beautiful gaze that makes me feel all warm on the inside.

Emerald: U ok Eve? I heard about what happened... I knew Charlotte was a bitch, but this?

Evelyn: I'm alright I guess. Bored out of my mind... been in bed all day just reading and stuff

Emerald: I wish I could be there

Evelyn: Why not? Let me see if you can come over

Evelyn: If you want to that is

Emerald: I'd love to

I put my phone down for a second and yell, "Gee! Can Emerald come over?" I hear him reply, "Yeah, sure!" from somewhere in the house then text Emerald back to tell her she can indeed come over. I tell her our address, too.

Now, she knows I'm adopted. We've had that whole conversation before, but I haven't gotten around to telling her who actually adopted me.

Evelyn: When my dad lets you in you can't freak out

Emerald: What?? Why would I??

Evelyn: There's some stuff you don't know... ;) I leave it vague and I guess Em decides not to question me anymore.

About twenty minutes later I hear a knock on the front door and Gerard's footsteps approaching it before he opens it. Then, I hear a muffled squeal and Gerard laughing a bit before introducing himself. Once they're acquainted, Em doing a very good job of staying calm in front of one of her idols, he tells her how to get to my room.

They've already met once before, of course, at Hot Topic. But this is different. She's actually in his house, for starters.

"Evelyn Way, why didn't you tell me this crucial piece of information!?" She whisper-screams as she barges into my room, shutting the door behind her. She hugs me tightly as she says, "Way. Way. Oh my gosh!"

I laugh, "Sorry, Em. I didn't exactly know how to break it to you."

"It's okay, Evie, but- wait... that means Mikey Way is your uncle. And- and oh my god I bet you hang out with Frank and Ray all the time, too!" She squeals and jumps around my room. I'm having too much fun watching this.

I nod, then beckon her over and whisper, "We have a movie night every Friday."

"That must be so- hold up, it's Friday. Evelyn you're gonna kill me! I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack and die right here and it'll be your fucking fault!"

I lose it. We both can't stop laughing. Well, Em might be crying. I don't even know.

When she's calmed down, I get out of bed for what I think is the first time today. It's past 4PM. I don't know if that's impressive or just sad. I'm still wearing pyjama bottoms, but with my Ziggy hoodie.

Anyway, I make my bed so that Em and I can sit comfortably. We don't even end up sitting, we're just laying next to each other, less than a foot apart. I tell her about Frank, Ray, Mikey, and especially what it's been like living with Gerard. She hangs on to my every word. She's such a good listener.

"Does it hurt?" She asks quietly when it's her turn to speak. She brushes the cut under my eye gently with her fingers.

"No, but it did at first." Then, I ask, "Why'd you ever hang out with that guy?"

"Nathan? Well, his brother dated my sister for a bit— she's the girl who was at Hot Topic with me that one time— and, I don't know, we started hanging out," she shrugs.

The room falls silent again, only for it to be broken by my whispering, "Your eyes look like sunshine."

"Really? I thought they were just brown," She replies just as quietly.

"No, no. They have bits of gold in them." We lay now, just taking each other in. Or, at least that's what I'm doing. She's so pretty. She's so smart, generous, outgoing. My eyes briefly flicker down to her lips. They look so soft. I bet she'd be a great kisser.

Hold on, what?

Oh shit.

Do I... do I have a crush on my best friend? My best friend who is a girl? I've never had a crush on anyone before. This was not supposed to happen.

Think about cute boys, Evelyn. Pete Wentz. He's good-looking, right? Em is the one who introduced me to Fall Out Boy... her face lit up when she showed me her favourite songs of their's. Seeing her so happy made me happy.

Oh, dear. I'm so gay, aren't I?

• • •

*cough* Emerlyn *cough*