Okay, maybe I'm not really running away. Not for good, anyway. But there's something I've been wanting to do and I can't do it if I intend on going home afterward.

I leave the house early on Saturday morning, snow is coming down in big white flakes and if it weren't the weekend school would surely be cancelled (not that I'd show up anyway). A perfectly good snow-day wasted. I don't even care that the last time I left the house unannounced Gerard panicked. It doesn't even cross my mind.

When I get there, The Box is empty. It seems they've finally come to their senses and abandoned me. I'm not angry, or sad, or even remotely disappointed. Alone is exactly what I want to be and what I deserve to be. And there's no one here to stop me from draining the liquor-stocked cooler.

I meant it when I said I wanted to forget everything.

I'm surprised to see that it's past 9AM when I wake up on Saturday morning. I guess I'm catching up on the sleep I lost when Eve was waking up and needing comfort after her nightmares, because they seem to have stopped. I'm glad. I couldn't stand to see her broken, tear-streaked face every night, to hear her ramble on about what was her fault, what she could've prevented, what she wishes would've happened.

Eve seems to be catching up on sleep, too, because the house is still completely silent. Before going down to the living room, I go check on her only for my eyes to land on her empty bed.

Maybe, just maybe, she's in her bathroom? No: The door is open and she's not in there.

"Evelyn?" I call, then wait for a reply.

Deep down, I think I knew wouldn't get one.

My eyes dart around her room. Her winter coat is gone. Her phone is sitting on her nightstand, still plugged in. My heart sinks, but a wave of panic shoots through me at the same time and I need to steady myself against the door-frame.

Relax. She's fine, right? Yeah, she's probably fine.

But probably isn't good enough.

I check every room in the house and when I don't find her I go back to my own room and immediately grab my phone, calling the one number I always seem to be calling when it comes to my worries over Eve. "Pick up, pick up," I whisper frantically under my breath, pacing back and forth.

"Hello?" Frank's groggy just-woken-up voice finally greets me from the other end of the line.

"You haven't seen Eve, have you?"

"Gee, it's Saturday morning, no I haven't seen her. Barely see her anymore as is... what's going on?"

"She's gone."

"What!?" Frank exclaims, and I can imagine him hopping out of bed as he does so.

"I don't know where she is, she's not in the house and she left her phone here. I don't know what to do, man."

He can surely hear the panic rising in my voice as he says, "Hey, calm down, she's probably fine. Has she done this before?"

"She left for school once without telling me, but she at least took her phone that time! What do we do, Frank? What if something happened, what if—"

"We'll go look for her, okay? We'll call Mikey and Ray and we'll go look for her." He cuts me off.

"Okay- okay, yeah." I stop pacing. "We'll do that."

"I'm sure she's fine, Gee. Just get ready and I'll be there soon."

"Okay." I hang up the call then get dressed in whatever clothes I find strewn across my bedroom floor, which unsurprisingly happens to be a pair of black jeans and a T-shirt. I pull on a coat, because one look out the window tells me it's fucking cold out there, and pair it with some black boots.

In less than five minutes Frank is outside my house, which gave me just enough time to down a scorching cup of coffee. Just as I'd expected, it's absolutely freezing when I step outside to get in his car.

I hope Eve is warm enough wherever she is.

As soon as I get into the car, Frank speeds off toward Mikey's place. "Did you let him know we were coming?" he asks me without taking his eyes off the road.

"No? I thought you did!"

He shakes his head. "But I texted Ray."

"Great." I roll my eyes. "Mike's probably still in bed. He'll take ages to get up."

"Not if you tell him what's going on," Frank assures me. "He'll wanna go looking for Eve just as much as we do." Then he adds more carefully, "Any idea of where she might be?"

I take a shaky breath in. "None. She never really goes anywhere. That's probably my fault, though. I should've encouraged her to go out more, make friends. She left because of me, didn't she? And now something bad's probably happened to her. What if she's hurt bad, or—"

"Hey—" Frank cuts me off by placing a hand on my knee. I was so caught up in what I was saying that I didn't even notice he'd already parked outside my brother's place. Or the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. "We'll find her, okay? And don't blame yourself. Really, Gee, how could this be your fault?"

"I yelled at her about a week ago. She started being so distant then. I shouldn't have yelled. I should've just shut up and listened to her."

"Why'd you yell, though? There must've been a reason. Eve isn't exactly a kid who's known to misbehave..."

"She told me she skipped school and we started arguing and we both kinda lost our cool, and—"

"Hold on, Gee." Frank stares at me incredulously, halting me with a raised hand. "Evelyn skipped school?"

"Yeah." I brush off his disbelief and go on, "And I guess I was already kinda annoyed because I'd just gotten a call from her teacher because she's failing math class—"

"Evelyn is failing a class?"

"Yes! Would you stop interrupting me? So I just sent her up to her room, to cool off, you know? I checked up on her later and she'd gone to bed so I let her sleep. I thought I was gonna end up going back to her room though, because she's been having these night terrors... I didn't though. Not that night."

Frank looks down sadly. "Poor kid," he says in a quiet voice. "We will find her, alright? Now let's go wake up your brother."

• • •

Just as I'd expected, Mikey was still wrapped up in bed under a pile of blankets when I barged into his room, intending to leave as soon as possible. I dragged him out of bed and only waited for him to change out of his pajama bottoms before we went to Ray's place to decide on our strategy for finding Eve.

Eve. Evie. Where could she even have gone? She can't have gone far... but then again, I don't know how early it was when she left. She could've run off to a train station and be alone in the middle New York City as we speak.

We finally decide that Mikey and Ray will walk one way toward her school and Frank and I will go toward the park. The snow is coming down heavier now and I wish more than anything that we could all be at home with Eve in the comfort of the warm living room, eating pizza or takeout and watching a movie like we used to do all the time just a few short months ago.

"Hey," Mikey wraps his arms around me for a quick hug. "We'll find her."

"Yeah," I say, unable to keep the nerves from seeping into my voice. Ray notices.

"She's a smart kid, Gee. I'm sure she's fine." He pats me on the shoulder and then he and Mikey set off at a brisk pace, hands shoved deep into their pockets.

I'm not able to trust that he's so sure she's fine and figure he's probably only trying to make me feel better. That's Ray. Still, I manage to almost bring myself to believe it, if only out of desperation, but as noon comes and goes and the snow only gets thicker, even Frank can't think up anything optimistic to say.