《The Girl Who Kept Running》20. Running Desperate at the Street Theater
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Harry's eyes were spitting fire. He was only in half a mood to control it as he only held her gaze for a second and flicked his eyes away.
With the bat of an eyelid she dismissed her flicker of disappointment. He was on to her. The gong would sound any second. She would think about another place to stay later. Let the battle ensue, she whispered under her breath. She could field whatever he sent her way.
***
VOICES
[The inside of the RV is emptier than before. The sewing machine is packed, lying by the exit. Hala stands in the middle, a duffel bag hung from her shoulder, looking around. She runs to the desk and fumbles eagerly in a drawer, taking out an ultrasound capture of an unborn baby. She clutches it to her heart and sobs.
Adrian enters sucking on a beer can. His steps falter.]
ADRIAN: Come here, I need you.
HALA: Don't touch me, you bag of filth. You've been stealing from my secret stash again. Now I know why. I would have let it slide if it was for something else. But I'm done with you and your habits.
ADRIAN (throws away the empty can): Did anyone come? A college boy … fascinated with my research… Let us clean up a little bit. He's about to show up.
HALA (snickers): He was supposed to come at noon. You're late by an hour and more.
ADRIAN: He came. Where is he? Don't tell me he left.
HALA: He waited for half an hour, looked at your stuff then up and gone.
ADRIAN: You let him go? You could have called me! I was right there at Danny's two turns away.
HALA: He didn't want me to. He said he'd changed his mind. Said don't bother calling him again.
ADRIAN: Wh-- How? (Frantically opens a cabinet under one of his consoles.) How the hell is this open? I keep this locked! (Takes out a folder and checks it's pages.) He went through it. Didn't he? You let him. Didn't you?
HALA (steps backward as Adrian moves angrily in her direction): Don't dare you pin this on me.
ADRIAN: How can you do this to me? You know I keep this locked. The only way he could access my old reports is that you let him. Only you'd know the passkey. It's not fair to me he left scared by my old mistakes!
HALA: Why hide it from him it if it's all documented research anyways? What did you say to him to lure him here? Why not invite him to the institute if they have really accepted your proposal? You have been lying to me again, haven't you?
ADRIAN: What is it to you? I cannot believe my own wife is the one laying down barriers in my way.
HALA: I will not let you hurt another human being for your goddamn science!
ADRIAN: How dare you accuse me unjustly!
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[ADRIAN leaps to Hala in fury and bunches up her hair in his hand, laying the other on her neck.]
HALA: Are you gonna finish me with the whole neighborhood watching?
[ADRIAN releases her neck glancing nervously at the window.]
***
She stood there fuming. He had touched her and with violence!
As soon as Harry's head turned back towards her, she set loose with a bitchslap to his face.
Harry was stunned. He was already embarrassed by his own outburst which he knew wasn't quite a performance but a lazy acting out, something he had no right to. He hadn't lost control like that in a while, well, at least until noon today when he threw that pot.
At last he met her gaze against the standing ovation of the audience for her and the boos they had been sending his way since the hair grab.
The unwavering message in her eyes was clear. Put the wrong foot again and he would never see her again. .
***
HALA: Always. (Stomps her foot) Always!
ADRIAN: What?
HALA: Don't even glare at me. I've put up with your nonsense for so long I lost perspective. I've woken up today to what I've let myself become! The look in that kid's eyes when he found what you'd withheld. His disappointment. It did something to me. And I realize there's nothing left to uphold my side of the deal!
ADRIAN: What are you even talking about?
HALA: You failed me at every turn. You upended your side of the marriage contract every which way while I kept mine. I let it roll in the name of your science which fascinated me as much as it obsessed you. I was swept away by the dreams of success - yours I realize now, assuming our material comfort would allow me to reach for mine. Your work demanded from me to put my goals second every time. You never became my true lover let alone a true father--"
ADRIAN: Enough with your one-sided proclamations! You accuse me of not making you my equal but that's exactly what I've strived for. All this time I've been keeping up with your expectations of me and of this marriage. So what if I'm human and my expectations of you rear their head sometimes.
HALA: I gave in to your smoothly worded mumbo jumbo before. Not anymore.
ADRIAN: What are you threatening me with?
HALA: All I have to do to be free of your games is walk out of here and never look back.
ADRIAN: You wouldn't dare.
HALA: There it is again. That smug, arrogant denial. The obtuse aren't literate enough in what is beyond words and think them superior. You aren't fooling anyone else this time, my friend.
ADRIAN (softens up, looks at the packed sewing machine): How did we reach this place? How did we end up here? I thought we had gone through enough together to form an unbreakable bond. Didn't we begin with unshakeable love?
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HALA: A rose plant is not gonna stay in prime if you forget to water it. Some plants take two to water.
***
Harry's head was hurting trying to keep the threads of meaning apart. He had a sick feeling Roxie was deliberately riding the line between the play and reality again - to communicate more than what Hala had to say. At last, he tired of the games.
***
ADRIAN [shuts then opens his eyes and shakes his head]: Forgive me. I don't know what came over me. Things have been getting to me this week.
HALA: Just this week? Find out another target for your acting out as today is the last time you look at me.
ADRIAN: No! No. And no! I want another chance. I need it. I demand it. I can't do this alone. (Kneels down). Adrian needs his Hala.
HALA: These hysterics won't serve you today. Stand straight like a man. [Thrusts the photo in his face as Adrian stands up.] And bring my baby back. Can you now?
***
Harry was caught off guard. How the hell did she come up with that? Did Caleb agree to this? Unlikely, after what happened last night. Alijah must have helped her pull this off. An actual baby ultrasound image! And look at her, crying actual tears with such sharp pain kneading her face. The whole floor weighed down with people had gone silent, lost in the moment with her.
All he could do was to ride the wave of his shock into the mind of a stunned one-time father forced to reface an old tragedy.
***
ADRIAN: Huh? After all this time, you held onto that?
HALA: What else is there to hold on to?
ADRIAN: That is why we must carry on, Hala. We must forgive, and forget, and keep striving. So we get the chance to be whole again.
HALA: Your words are the toxic candy that gives me cancer. I'll stay with my mad scientist if his science can bring my baby back.
ADRIAN (scoffs): You have lost your mind. You're feeling bereaved again - I'd thought I'd removed all signs of her before we moved in here. I feel for you. Here, take these pills. They'll help you feel better.
HALA (laughs out loud): Thanks for reminding again what kind of a baby daddy you were back in the day. Remember how you left me with little Malia in my lap for days because she upset your concentration? Remember how you left me to my own devices when I started noticing her symptoms and made the rounds of every pediatric clinic in town just to get her treated? Remember how you never had an ear to lend when I tried to discuss her case with you, puzzled by the doctors' obvious confusion and neglect. Remember, how you were barely there when I finally needed to say goodbye … and had to ask Mrs. Chang to help arrange for her funeral? Yes. Yes. And yes! I blame you for everything. Every loss. And every futile sacrifice. But this. This one … (fiercely kisses the baby image) I refuse to let go of anymore!
***
She had defeated him in the game. There was nothing he could do or say that could top this. The adulation from the crowd - waiting week after week for some real effort, some earnest drama by the so called thespians - was so deafening, he didn't dare as much as open his mouth for fear a boot will come his way.
Some of the younger girls started yelling and the refrain grew into a chant.
"One more slap! One more slap!"
Roxie tactfully hid the eruption of a smile on her face by busily searching as Hala for her stuff in the drawers and shoving it in her bag.
***
HALA: I should have flown out right behind my baby. I should have stayed back in Greentree where I could visit her grave. Yes, that's where I will go. Begin my life the way I should have a long time ago. I am a capable woman; I will survive. I don't need the crutch of romance to pass my days when a good book and a hard day's work would do the same.
ADRIAN: You are so wrong. By your own admission, if you were that woman, you would have escaped the necessity of being a wife a long time ago. Womankind hasn't evolved much beyond the promise of being breadwinners to a degree. The fair sex, alas, still struggles not to be the frail one. I'd advise to trust me and stay behind. I accept your terms; my next subject would be fully informed and would appear at the institute … We start fresh, cleaner than before.
HALA: I must get out of here before he takes over my mind again.
[Hala moves past Adrian who deftly grabs her and sticks a syringe hiding in his sleeve in Hala's neck. Adrian grabs a chair and makes the unconscious Hala sit.]
ADRIAN: Don't worry, my darling. You're in safe hands. You will be fine. My last great sacrifice in the road to success, your name will go down in the ranks of men and women who offered up themselves for the advancement of humankind.
Curtains.
***
He remained conflicted through the rest of the play. The emotional upheaval of that pivotal baby scene still had him in the eye of the storm. His head was in a whirl, his body was sweating, and his heart had a sweet, sweet ache that was not letting up.
She had not as much as looked at him after the play was over. The audience had turned their attention to him as soon as she had jumped off the stage, much like that first time, and ran out of everyone's sight. He had no moral courage left to follow her this time with any pretext. So he just stood there, the target of the crowd's intense deprecation, until at last they all went away to their homes.
So did he.
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