"Are you sure Imad is going to be fine?" I asked Sarah, as she flipped through the pages of the bride magazine.

"Don't worry, he's going to be okay. I do have the best nanny in Dubai, besides he's with my daughter, Rayna. She's about the same age as Imad. They are going have a lot of fun in Ferrari World. It's in Abu Dhabi," she said.

"Is it far?" I asked.

"It is a long drive, but it's honestly worth the adventure. Layla you shouldn't worry so much. It is not a good look for a bride," she spoke in low tone. We were sitting on the arm chairs in a bridal shop. A lady approached us and introduced herself.

"My name Aida, and I am here to help you find the 'one'. The one dress you get to feel like a royal in. So who's the lucky bride."

"That would be her — Layla," Sarah spoke and looked at me.

"Okay great. How about we get started. Do have an idea of what kind of dress you want?"

"No not really. I'll know it's the one when I see it," I replied.

"That's okay. Now follow me and I'll show you the new collection we have," Aida said. We stood up from our seats, and followed her. They were no people in the bridal shop, it was only Sarah and me. They were so many beautiful gowns, gowns I have only dreamed about. But deep down, I knew it didn't matter what gown I choose. The truth is that the marriage is a sham, and whatever game Ahmed is playing he's won. I am done trying, holding onto hope that maybe one day Ahmed will change, and be someone better. It hurts more to hold onto that hope than it does to let go. I am letting go because it's good for me, for my heart.

This is me choosing me for once and it feels right.

"Layla, Layla." Sarah called me. Oh, I zoned out. I have been doing that a lot today, my thoughts overcome me, and I drown in them.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like the gown?" She asked me.

"Yes I do. It's really nice," I replied.

"How about you try it on," Sarah propounded.

"Okay."

"Follow me," Aida said, and we walked towards the fitting rooms. That was through a small hallway and lead to a big space. They were so many mirrors. Aida hanged the dress on the wall, on a hook. She drew the curtain. When I looked myself in the mirror. I thought of what my mother would say.... My mother wanted to see me happy and get married, but I am sure she didn't imagine it like this. I held in my tears, daring myself to be brave. I miss her.

"Do you need any help?" Aida asked, on the other of the curtain.

"No, I am okay." I wiped my tears, and started changing. I wore the gown, and later on called in Aida to help me close the zip. I looked myself in the mirror and smiled. The dress is comely, I couldn't stop staring at it. It was all white, and puffy but not too puffy. The sleeves weren't that long, and it had a sabrina neckline. It goes from one shoulder to the other, with a straight line that pauses above the clavicles. The fabric is charmeusa and the white flowers are appliqué patches, Aida elaborated on the dress.

Sarah came to the fitting room area. "You look beauteous in that dress," She complimented me. "You are going to make a lovely bride."

"So are we saying yes to the dress?" Aida asked. I laughed and thought of Hudaa, who watched the tv show on TLC. She loves it.

"Well Layla it's the first dress you tried on and it's perfect. Honestly I was a bridezilla on my wedding day, I tried on at least fifteen gowns before I actually made a choice. But you are lucky you found the one right away, that's all I can say. And I am sure when my brother sees you in that gown, he will be astonished and speechless," Sarah spoke in a modulating tone.

"I do love it. So yes I'll take it," I said, and looked myself in the mirror. Already picturing myself on the wedding day, in this gown.

"Congratulations," Aida said. I went back into the fitting room and changed into my clothes. Sarah handled the formalities. When I was done changing, we left the bridal shop. The next stop is, the bakery — for cake tasting. Sarah already picked out three venues for the reception to take place. She said, I should discuss over it with Ahmed and pick a venue. After cake tasting, we are going to the Wedding card shop. Well she already picked out some designs, and the font and words to be written on the card. All I have to do, is decide which card I want.

She already had everything taken cared of. Sarah is really kind and thoughtful. While we were in the car, heading to the bakery. She started talking about the family gathering she organized, so I could get to meet the rest of the family.

"Please leave," Adil said, in a gravelly tone. I met up with Adil at the hotel he is staying in. I told him I am the one who married Layla, that was the least hardest part. Watching him fall into despair, and heed to the way he changed talking to me. From a brother to now a complete stranger, that was the hardest part.

"I wanted to be the one to tell you," I said.

"Is she happy?" He asked. My gaze shifted to the floor, and scenes from what happened the other replayed in my mind. The fight I had with Layla.

"I don't know," I replied.

"You know I wanted to punch you in the face, when you told me you're the one who married her. But if you two love each other, who am I to stand in the way..." I cut him off, and spoke.

"It's not like that." I wish I could tell him truth.

"Whatever Ahmed, as long she's happy. Can you promise me something?" He looked at me.

"Yeah sure."

"Can you make sure she's okay, that she's happy at every moment of her life. Layla's been through a lot, the last thing she needs is an impertinent husband," he spoke, in a low tone.

"I don't know if I can promise that."

"Of course you can't. You push away people who care about you."

"Enough with the sentiment talk," I said.

"When are you going to realize that Abdullah is not coming back, and he is not the only one who cared about you. I have always tolerated you, but just keep this in the mind. If you hurt her, in any way. Just consider yourself dead to me."

"It has nothing to do with my brother, and I know you have been there for me. You are my family, regardless of the arguments we have had. But I guess you have to consider me dead now," I told him.

"Ahmed I know you think that whatever your doing is right, but it's not. You love her why else would you marry her, after countless of times of swearing off marriage," Adil replied.

"Aren't you supposed to be mad right now? Didn't you care about her?"

"I am mad, and I still do care about her. But there's nothing I can do and this is me facing reality," he said.

"She does deserve better," I said.

"Honestly Ahmed I don't know what to tell you except, appreciate what you have, before it turns to what you had. I tell you this against every thought I am having right now, don't let her go."

"Thanks Adil for understanding and sorry."

"Okay," he replied. I opened the door and got out. I got to the parking lot, and stood next to my car.

Everything Adil said, is near the truth.

My truth is that I love her, and I don't know what to do about it. I have to push her away, because I know how it ends... Her leaving. There's so much of her in my heart and it pains that I'll never be in hers. Because I am complicated and rude. I hate to see her in tears, and to know I caused them because of my actions and words. It makes me want to bury myself, I would rather do that then see her sad. Her eyes is paradise...

I ruined everything.

❤️