Iam stuck in this place in my mind, a pessimism state. Where telling Layla my truth seems like things would only get worse. You could even say I am afeared, by taking a leap and hoping that somehow through the odds of it all she shares the same sentiments as I possess. I know deep down she might still want to be with Adil, but of course she would never reveal that. And why would she tell her husband she still has feelings for another man, that proclaim would hurt any man's pride. If only there was a way to let her see what's in my heart, I would have shown her, but for now I remain the fool that hopes.

Should I admit to her that I am in love with her... her demure personality, her broad smile, her brave spirit, and her beauty that can not be compared easily and I have thought of every exquisite creation of Allah s.w.t but she is the only mesmerizing creation that I can not seem to divert my attention and my sight from. To tell her all this would take so much courage and heart. Somehow I am lacking courage, and maybe one day I will be brave as her to love as loud as she does. But until then my love for her will remain higher than words and I shall remain silent.

Probably today Imad will be discharged, I am on my way to his room and carrying a grocery bag filled with snacks — that he insisted I get him. As I entered the (hospital) room Layla approaches me and starts to speak:

"Ahmed have you talked to the doctor yet?" Layla asked, impatiently waiting for reply.

"Assalam alaykum Layla," I said calmly.

"Waalikum salam," She replies and crosses her arms across her chest. Her lips pressed together.

"No I have not. I will talk to him and take care of the formalities if need be," I said to her. "Don't worry Imad insha allah you will leave the hospital today," I turned to him and spoke. He nodded his head in agreement - excitedly.

"I can go instead..." She spoke in a quiet tone.

"No it's fine, I will go. I'll be back in a few minutes," I said and kept the grocery bag on the table. I left the room and headed to the hospital receptionist. When I got there, the nurse said the doctor had not come yet. I went back to the room, and Layla was sitting on the couch drifting into sleep. Imad was watching cartoon on the television. I went to sit next Layla and slowly moved her head on my shoulder. She was so tired, I don't think it bothered her — that I was so close to her. Her eyelids closed, and her breathing deep and relaxed. Not a twitch, barely no movement — Layla looked at peace and relaxed.

After a while, I eventually fall asleep. I haven't had proper sleep either, I have been awake most of the night. If not talking to Layla, responding to my emails. I got startled, when I heard the creak of the door. I slowly opened my eyes, and looked at Layla who is sound asleep.

You are the most beautiful fate.

I held her warm hand and didn't want to let go, I felt complete. I let go of her hand and carefully stood up trying my best not to wake her up — her head now laying on the couch. I looked over at Imad who is asleep as well. I went outside to see who it was that opened the door, maybe it was a nurse. I walked heading towards the receptionist, maybe the doctor has already arrived. Looking around I spot Adil talking to a nurse. I pace towards him, and greet him... "Assalam alaykum."

"Waalikum salam," he replies. The nurse smiles and walks away.

"Did you come to see Imad? He's asleep now but I think he'll wake up soon," I spoke.

"No actually I was just about to leave," he says. Just as he was about to walk away, I ask him if he's okay.

"Yeah I am fine," he replies. "I just didn't expect her to move on so easily, you know... Go behind my back and marry you, my cousin."

"She didn't have a choice," I said in a low tone. Maybe he saw Layla and me.

"Of course she had a choice, it's not like someone forced her," he spoke, his tone slightly higher than mine.

"Please don't say anything you might regret. I promise that you'll understand why we had to get married later but for now it's best the truth remains concealed," I said.

"What I do regret is proposing to her and trusting her. She's ignoble," Adil spoke in a harsh tone.

"You know that's not true, she's far from that," I said.

"Of course you'll defend her because you're in love with her."

"What if I am? Weren't you in love with her..." I stopped talking, when I saw Layla walk up to Adil and stood in-front of him. She reached behind her neck and unclasped her necklace and kept it on Adil's hand.

"I didn't mean what I said," Adil said.

"I am sorry." Her gaze shifted to the floor,"I am married to Ahmed now." Before Layla walked away, she reminded me to talk to the doctor — her voice barely audible, tears on her eyelids on the verge of falling.

"Tell her I am sorry as well," Adil said in a quiet tone and walked away.

"I will," I replied. Before I went back to the room, I asked about the doctor and I was told his with another patient. When I got to the room Layla was sitting on the arm-chair, her face buried in her hands.

"Adil says he's sorry..." I said.

"Okay," she mumbled. She looked up at me, tears still falling down her cheeks. I don't like it when she cries... I walked closer to her and sat on the edge of the wooden coffee table, facing her. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to comfort her.

"Don't cry," I said. "I am sorry." I apologized, that's the best I came up with.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she said, while wiping her tears. "I didn't mean to hurt him Ahmed. I know he didn't mean what he said, but hearing him say all those things made me feel guilty and responsible for his pain. I thought maybe giving him back the ring would help him move on, I hope he does."

"I understand how you feel, but you shouldn't burden yourself with so much. Your heart doesn't deserve all that, it's not all your fault."

"He's hurting because of me," she said.

"And he'll find his soulmate because of you," I told her. " Not all hope is lost."

"Maybe you're right..."

"Layla agreeing with me. I need to record this," I spoke in a chirpy tone. She narrowed her eyes and tried to smile through her tears. When I come to think of it... Enduring pain would be tolerable, as long as she's smiling.

"There's a first time for everything," She said. I couldn't help but think if she heard what I said earlier, I did implicitly admit to to being in love with her. Maybe she didn't acknowledge that.

Is Ahmed in love with me? Oh no that's absurd, but he has been acting odd, odd in a sense that he's been smiling more and being considerate. No, it can't be.

"Of course you'll defend her because you're in love with her."

"What if I am? Weren't you in love with her..."

If he is in love with me, I think my life would be equivalent to a cliche movie. Where the billionaire guy falls in love with the not so rich girl. This can't be happening. Whatever Adil said was true, that Ahmed and I are bound to fall in love with each other. But I am not in love with Ahmed. I am not... right?

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