Why do we know but act like we don't?

-Seeker

"Have you packed the..." Anisa spoke, and I cut her off:

"Yes I packed my medications and the gift you got me."

"Okay good. I don't want you to forget anything important," she said, looking rather worried.

"I won't," I replied. I sat on my bed and laid back, staring at the ceiling.

"I know you don't like it when I talk about Naveed." I looked at Anisa, who was sitting on the further end of the bed. "Tell me this, do you like him?"

"I do Anisa," I replied honestly. I thought to myself, what was the point of hiding it.

"Why don't you tell him?" She spoke, sounding far from surprised.

"I did."

"Well what did he say?" She asked and I immediately told her what had happened, the day I tried to confess my feelings to him. "Well you have to tell him again Mal. You can't go without knowing, maybe..."

"No," I said and sat upright. "I can't go through that again."

"Amal Ahmed Damari, listen to me for once."

"I always listen to you," I said.

"Well now listen attentively: you are going to live in a world of what if, remember you said that to me once, you will live a life of regret because you never truly gave him a chance to give you his answer," She spoke in a modulating tone.

"Anisa I can't re live the..."

"Oh please, put on your big girl pants and do it again and this time make sure he listens. Make sure you look him in the eye and tell him you want him to be the one you wake up to every morning." I felt my cheeks turn hot, blushing like a teenager who just heard her crushes name and immediately plans a wedding mentally. I got up from the bed. Removed my abaya from the closet and put it on, tied my scarf nicely and felt like the most determined person there ever was. Nothing could stop me.

"Thank you," I ran to Anisa and hugged her tightly.

"If it all works out, we might just have a double wedding," She said and let me go.

"Well I wouldn't count on that so soon," I told her. I rushed out of the house, called for a Lyft and waited for five minutes for the car to get here. I was impatient, I felt like every moment was crucial and nothing should go wrong. I wanted this to work out, I want to tell him and let him know. I needed to know how he feels.

I was impatient the whole way to the hospital, my leg couldn't stop shacking. I sat at the back of the car bitting my lower lip, and nervously and restlessly waiting to get there. I wanted to get out of the car at every red light, and walk, almost convinced myself I would get there faster by foot.

Finally, when the car pulled up in the drive through of the hospital, my heart was relived yet elevated at the thought of confessing my feelings to Naveed. Again. My thoughts muddled and heart beating as fast as it could. Legs getting heavier and heavier with every step I took towards Naveed's office. I stood outside his door, preparing myself mentally and emotionally. Whatever his response may be - I tried to imagine and prepare myself. But I knew if he didn't feel the same way... I would be heartbroken and that was the risk I was taking and ready to take.

I knocked on his door, repeatedly. But there was no reply. Tried to open the door, it was locked. He's not in, I concluded.

So I tried to call him...

Today is the court hearing. On my way to the courthouse, all I could think of was my daughter, the thought of losing her didn't sit well with me. I wanted to be in her life. She's my everything, she's the good thing in my life. I would do anything to keep her happy. I will. It feels like war, a war with Mariam and I hate that. Mariam is a loving mother and was a supportive wife, doing this kills me inside. But if this is what it takes for keeping my daughter... I'll have to do it.

I got to the courthouse, parked my car and as I was walked up the stairs. I saw Mariam standing by the entrance doors, looking rather worried, even sad. She saw me and immediately approached me. Tears lingering on her eyelids, she seemed vulnerable.

"Naveed please don't do this," She started to speak, her voice low.

"Mariam, why would you ask me to do that? You know I love my daughter."

"It's not a question about whether you love her or not. I know you do... I am begging you. Please," She said.

"If you know I love her, you know I can't let her go away with you," I replied and walked past her.

"The fact is, you are going to win," Mariam said. "I am asking you, Naveed. Please don't go in there." I stopped walking and turned to look at her.

"She's the good thing in my life Mariam. Why you asking me to give that up..."

"I am not. She will always be in your life, I promise you that. You know, she doesn't have to be the only good thing in your life. You can bring in other good things," She interjected and spoke. "Like Amal." I smiled.

"You know..."

"Naveed, I am asking you to let me keep Manayer. Not take her away from you. You will always be her father, and I'll ensure she remembers that. With trips and Skype calls and anything I can do to ensure your memory is always present. And that the love of her father never goes away," She spoke and took a step closer to me. "Please."

"I won't go in," I said. I am not giving up on my daughter, even though it looks that way. As much as I love her, the truth is she needs her mother just as much as she needs me. However, she needs her mother's constant warmth more, that is something I cannot give her.

"Thank you so much. Thank you Naveed," She said.

"Just make sure she doesn't forget me, and before you leave I get her for a week or two."

"Yes of course," She replied.

I walked back down the stairs and to the parking lot. I got into my car and sat, thinking if what I did was the right thing. Deep down it I knew it was, I just couldn't stop thinking of how much I'll miss her. How much I'll miss being in her life. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have to go back to the hospital, get back to work. I have a patient to check on, who is in critical care.

My phone started ringing. I couldn't pick it up, it was on the seat. I already started driving, I tried to see who it was that was calling but I just couldn't. I got the hospital, parked my car and got out of the car hurriedly, worried maybe it was one of the nurses who called me to tell me about my patient. When I got to the entrance, I saw Amal standing at the reception. Once she saw me, she immediately walked towards me. What was she doing here? She has a flight at 4:00 pm today. Nonetheless, I am glad she stopped by.

"Naveed, I was looking for you," She spoke in a manner of urgency.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned she looked anxious.

"It will be," she replied. I told her we could go to my office and we could talk there. When we got there I closed the door of the office. Amal and I, stood facing each other and before she said anything she looked me in the eyes bravely...

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I like you," She abruptly said, "And I know you may not feel the same way, but I just had to let you know. From the moment you re-entered my life, I have been able to live with assurance, laugh carelessly and most importantly feel something I thought I'd never be able to feel again. Whatever your decision upon what I have just told you, I will respect. All I know is Naveed, I want you in my life for as long as I am alive." I kept quiet looking at her, listening to her speak, how she poured her heart out despite being nervous. She bit her lower lip once she finished, and shifted her gaze every now and then. I didn't know what to say at the moment, then I remembered Mariam's words, that I can have more than one good thing and Amal, she's always been that. I spoke finally:

"I like you too. Matter of fact I don't think I ever stopped liking you Amal. The day you asked me if I still had feelings for you and I said no, it was not true. I just hadn't processed the fact that I still have feelings for you after all this time. You are undoubtedly the most astonishing and thrilling person I have ever met. To have you in my life is definitely something I look forward to." The truth, rolled out of my lips so freely and patently. I want her to be my good thing in my life, another compassions to explore and I don't want to hide away from that fact.

"Naveed I didn't know you felt that way. I am glad I told you how I really felt..."

"As am I. I know you are leaving for Milan and I won't stop you. I don't want to be the one to stand in the way of you achieving your goals. I promise you this though, the next time we meet and our feelings are the same. I will ask you to marry me."

"You would have a long distance relationship?" She asked surprised yet sounding pleased.

"For you Mal, I would get the stars if I could." She smiled, and right there and then, I knew I did the right thing and that I would have to do everything in my power to always make her happy because that smile... "I don't know what to took me so long to realize the person I needed is standing right in-front of me." She hugged me suddenly, and I hugged her back.

"Now you're just making it hard for me to let you go," I told her.

"That's the plan, to get you to come with me," She lets go of me and spoke.

"One day I will come to you, and on that day I'll have a ring for you," I told her.

"And on that day I'll wear that ring," I replied.

***

The End.

I am sad to say, the second part of 'The Nanny' has come to an end. I want to thank you for your support and patience throughout the journey of this book and I am forever grateful.

|| Who is your favorite couple and why? And what was your favorite moment from the story? ||