Chapter 21

Louis's POV

~~this is the same day by the way~~

I was helping Harry choose an outfit to wear, he had fallen asleep in his skinny jeans, and didn't have a shirt on. The bedroom was scattered in Harry's clothes, and everything I picked out he refused to wear

"ok, how about this?" I asked, holding up his favorite black T-shirt.

"Ummmm, no" he whined, while seated on the end of the bed clutching a pillow close to his chest.

I rolled my eyes at him, "what about this?" I held up his shirt that said "hipsta please" he made a face at the one as well and shook his head.

"But I thought you liked these clothes" I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip and throwing a shirt at his face.

He held his arm up, then quickly hid them behind his back. "I used to like those clothes...can't wear them now..." He sighed, tracing over his cuts with his fingers and looking depressed.

"Harry, this our hotel room, you can what ever you want." I said, putting my hands on my hips, and frowning a bit, he doesn't have to be this difficult, I wish he would just get dressed so we could talk to the boys. "Wear this" I commanded, throwing his Jack Wills sweatshirt at him, he picked it up and cocked his head, he mouthed "ok" and then quickly put it on. The sweatshirt didn't fit him as well as it used to, he was taller now, and bit bigger than when he was 16, but I thought he looked adorable in it, even through the sleeves came like two inches up past his wrists.

"Are you gonna wear that?" I asked, while picking up his clothes from the floor and then placing them in his dresser.

"I- I mean I'd like to...but I just...I don't..." A few tears slid down his cheeks and I rushed over and hugged him, "it's ok, don't cry Hazz, please" I said, wiping his cheek with my thumb gently. He swallowed hard, then nodded. "I know, how about you wear your black sweater, you do like that" I said, trying to sound cheerful. He nodded, then I got up and took his sweater out of the dresser drawer, "here you go" I smiled, handing him his shirt. "Thanks" he mumbled, he unzipped his sweatshirt, then paused. "What is it?" I asked, "don't....I mean, can you not look..?" He said, nervously while biting his bottom lip, and playing with the zipper on his jacket. I sighed and turned away, "it's not like I haven't seen you undressed before, why you like being naked so much remains a mystery to me" I laughed, glancing back at him, "you finished?"

"Yeah" He mumbled, he went and stood in front of the mirror above sink, (in the bathroom in our room) I followed him in and stood there patiently while he combed his hair, just when I thought it looked perfect, he shook his head, messing up his perfect hair doo, and ran his fingers through his hair like he does. "You're cute" I giggled, taking his hand. His eyes widened and looked at me. "s-sorry I..." I stuttered, looking at my feet. Harry smiled, " no, it's ok." I grinned at him. I grabbed my phone of the night table, and handed Harry his. I opened the door and tried to walk out, but Harry wouldn't move, so I got jerked backward. "What's wrong?" I said, hugging him again.

"It's the boys...they'll be upset..."

"I know..but in a good way, they love you and want the best for you, they'd never hate you Hazz"

"Yeah, well what about Liam? He always says he doesn't understand why people cut themselves...and Niall will make fun of me"

"NO, he will not! And if he does I'm going to have to punch his lights out."

Harry pressed his lips together and sighed, "I-I don't know..."

"Harry...please?" I said, but it came out more of a question.

"Fine...if I have to.." He groaned. I grabbed his hand and we walked out into the kitchen.

"Hi Zayn, where's Liam?" I asked, taking an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table.

"Um, sleeping." he answered, sassily. "It's 8:00 in the morning on a Saturday, wouldn't you want to sleep in?"

I stuck my tongue out and grabbed Harry's hand again, "we'll just sit over here, until Liam gets up. By the way, where's Niall?"

Zayn shrugged, I threw a pillow at the back of his head.

"Not cool bro" he snapped, snatching up the pillow and tossing it at me, it didn't hit me thankfully, but did send the lamp crashing to floor.

"Boooo, you've got bad aim" I teased, he glared at me, and then continued eating his cereal. I sat with Harry in silence, until Liam came running in the room in his boxers, "What are you guys doing?!" He glanced down at the broken lamp and groaned. "Who did this? I'm not paying for anything else you guys destroy" he grumbled.

I raised my hand, "Liam, I think it's only fair that I'm honest with you, and take complete responsibility for our actions...ZAYN DID IT!" "And here I thought you were going to be mature for once." Liam grumbled. I pointed to Zayn who spun around and threw a handful of cornflakes at me. "Thanks I'm hungry" I smirked. He made a face at me, then got up and put his bowl in the sink.

"Zayn, what have I told you guys about rough-housing indoors?" Liam grumbled, while picking up the broken pieces of the lamp and telling Zayn to bring him the trash can.

"It was Louis who started it" Zayn whined, while bringing over the trash can, then setting it next to Liam.

"Louissss is that true?" Liam whined, picking up the shattered glass and throwing it the garbage can.

"Maybe it's true, maybe it's not" I smirked, "all we know is that Zayn's got terrible aim and-"

Zayn tackled me and hit me in the face with a pillow. Liam sighed and gave us a dirty look.

~~an hour later~~

All five of us are sitting around playing video games, Niall's yelling, Zayn's in a bad mood, because I beat him at Mario Kart earlier, and Liam's talking on the phone while trying to hold a game controller. Harry is sitting as close to me as possible, he's scared, and won't speak to anyone but me. He tapped my shoulder and whispered in my ear. "W-we don't have to tell the boys..do we?" "You should" I mumbled, "and it'll be ok, I'm here"

He managed a small smile and nodded. "You tell them" he whispered, biting his finger nail. "Harry, I don't think-" I began.

"Please..." He almost started crying again, and I didn't want that, it broke my heart seeing him so upset. "Alright.." I said, my voice trailing off. I stood up, and cleared my throat. " um, we..Harry and I have something to tell you.." I looked down at Harry and squeezed his hand, "it's ok" I mumbled, "I'm here aren't I?" He looked at me, teary eyed and nodded.

Niall was paying no attention what so ever, and Zayn punched him in the arm. "Owww" he pouted, "that wasn't nice!" Zayn smirked "I know. Now shut up, Louis is trying to tell us something" Niall's eyes widened, " Harry? Are you guys-"

"No, we are dating.." I answered, looking at Harry. I wish...but we can't...

Liam hung up his phone and stared at the four of us, "what's going on?"

"Harry, we..er..we need to tell you guys something." I whispered.

"What is it?" Liam said, seriously.

"Harry...um self-harms....."