Don't hate me y'all please.

Queen Anya in the mm 😇

Excuse any errors. ❤️

———-

4 days later.

My heart ached so bad still. I wasn't eating much and I didn't sleep much, little bean was with her God parents for the a few days because I just wanted to be alone for a little bit. I missed my baby girl and planned on picking her up tomorrow.

"Anya?...A-are you still sad? Can we play Fortnite now?"

Pulling the blanket over my shoulder I sighed. "No Zane..I don't wanna play."

I could hear his footsteps getting close so I closed my eyes.

"You've been sleepy all day. I want to play the game-"

"Go play by yourself.."

His face softened as he swallowed down, I know it was crushing him that I didn't wanna do anything, I hoped that I felt better later.

"I'm just gonna come lay in here so you won't be sad Anya ok? I don't like when you're sad."

"I know Zane I'm sorry."

"It's ok, you're still pretty."

I couldn't help but smile, he was so sweet and I was just trying to bury my feelings until someone else fronted because explaining it to Zane would be too difficult. He wouldn't understand and be confused.

I turned my head to see him asleep, it was the cutest thing, his forehead creased with wrinkles before he smiled a little as if he was dreaming or something peaceful.

I wish my mind was at peace.

Getting up from the bed I went to the kitchen to cook something for us to eat. Little beans birthday was coming up in a few more weeks and I needed to figure out what the plan would be. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do a princess party or a kiddie carnival themed party I'd bring it up to Milo later of course because he also had his own ideas for the party.

"Baby, you're up." Milo said wrapping his arms around me. He gave me a long hug, it felt good to be in his arms.

"Yeah, Zane wanted me to play the game with him but he fell asleep and I was hungry."

He smiled a little "Oh well, I'm glad you're up. After you eat get dressed I wanna take you out.."

I got out of his hold and gave him a look. "Where?"

"A picnic baby and I brought some paint supplies so we could maybe paint when we go out there.. If you wanna go."

"Really?!" I smiled, although I was still sad, it was sweet that each personality Milo had, always tried to make me feel better in their own way.

"Yeah baby. I'm just trying to make you feel better, it's been a few days and you've been in bed for the majority of them and I didn't wanna bother you because you were still sad about losing munchkin." He said scratching the back of his neck.

I swallowed down my tears as best as I could but then I started crying as he hele me in his arms. "I'm sorry I just... it's hard I didn't wanna hold back my feelings, I feel like it's my fault.. If I wasn't dancing around with Jaxon I-" I sniffled.

"You don't have to hold them in baby. I still have days where I'm sad thinking about it too but don't blame yourself or Jax.. This happened for a reason, like the doctor said the baby would've been really sick-"

I cut him off so fast that it took him a minute to process it.

"I would have taken care of it, sick or not it's still our child." I said leaning against the refrigerator as I put my head down crying. I was crying on and off so much that I thought I was gonna run out of tears.

"Come here baby." He said hugging me, he jerked his head a little to avoid switching which I already knew that it was going to happen.

Letting out a breath I wiped my tears. "Ok, now we can go to the picnic." I sniffled as I got out of his hold and went into the bedroom.

———

My little mama was so broken, I mean the picnic was Milos idea of course but I saw in her face that she was at least trying for us.

"If you don't wanna go we can go somewhere else."

"I'm fine Jax.. I promise." She yawned.

"I'm just making sure.."

"And I said I was fine." She responded with an attitude and it shocked me.

"Aye, I know you're sad but fix ya attitude man. Please.."

"Leave me alone Jaxon." She stared crying again as I pulled over into the parking lot of the park.

Everything we needed was in the backseat I glanced over at her and she wiped her tears. "I'm sorry Jaxon-"

"It's fine bae, now come on let me see that pretty smile, we lost something but I believe we'll gain something better."

She smiled as we got out of the car, the picnic blanket was already set up and so was the food that was covered up. I guess Milo did all the early. It was her favorite pasta and pizza from Vinnie's and some cherry coke, of course I was just gonna drink water although I was a Sprite guy I didn't want to drink that either.

Setting up the canvas we started to pant and talk about little beans birthday.

"Maybe you should do the carnival theme, Oh! not do a Cocomelon theme since she watches it 25/8." I said as she laughed.

"That is true, I kinda want us to get everything early. She doesn't have a lot of baby friends but she had family so Leslie and Marcus can come, of course Dre and Makayla... Damn I should've put her in daycare because now I don't know who to invite."

"Nah, I don't trust daycares all that much. Ask Makayla if she has some little cousins or something. Doesn't she have a sister?"

"Her sisters like 17."

"Oh. Well I mean it doesn't really matter because it's for little bean."

She nodded and turned her painting toward me, it was of the sun and the ocean.

"Tadaaa!" She laughed as I stood up, pulling my phone from my pocket.

"Keep that pretty smile." I said licking my lips before taking the picture, she had taken her shoes off as was wearing a tye dye dress which looked really good on her, after taking the picture of her I saved it at Milo's wallpaper then we packed up everything and headed home.

We listened to music and she was genuinely happy and it felt good that I made her that way.

——

I was confused.. I felt sadness in my heart and I couldn't really couldn't really figure out why.

Anya was sitting on the couch beside me scrolling on her phone. She was smiling at the screen so I assumed something was making her happy.

"Anya?, it's quite nice to see that smile on your face today."

"Hey Sai." She smiled locking her phone before sitting next to me Indian style.

"Did you miss me?"

"I did, what were you doing before you fronted?"

"Sleeping."

She laughed and rubbed her eye.

"So Anya.. I have a question, only because I'm perplexed trying to figure out why I feel so sad."

She twisted her lips to the side. "Oh... You don't know? They.. They didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I was now becoming a face of worry.

"Just to make it quick..I lost munchkin a few days ago but I'm getting back to my old self after some medicine and lots of crying."

"We... We lost munchkin? No.. How? I thought-"

"The baby would've been really sick but it's ok...Maybe I'll have another munchkin one day."

My bottom lip began to tremble as the trepidation in my hands started, tears began to fill the brim of my eyes I tried to blink them away but once they started it wouldn't stop, wiping my tears quickly I cleared my throat.

"Sorry, I.. I didn't to display my emotions.."

"It's ok Sai. It's fine to show emotions.. but yeah everything's getting back to normal and we're planning little beans party."

I ran a hand down my face and sighed. "Will it be a Cocomelon theme? that's her favorite."

She smiled. "I guess it's Cocomelon."

This was going to be a very enjoyable birthday party, all for our little bean.

——

This is short I know 🥺

💕Princess theme?

🤍Cocomelon theme?

🎢Carnival theme?