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"So...

what do we call ourselves?"

"We call ourselves what we look..."

"...sad..?"

"yes."

"...red..?"

"yes."

"...a little yellow?"

"definitely..yes."

"so...sad..red...yellow..boys..?"

"yes."

"yes.."

-

We continued walking down our red yellow brick road, to our new founding freedom, bonded in hands and naked souls. We were alive in each other loudly, but so quiet, it was like we were dead, almost. There was a whisk silence that carried us, held us, nurtured us, but not for long. Not until I opened my sealed lips that were bruised to talk, that it finally let us go.. "what is your name?"

He heard me, but didn't say anything, just kept walking happily glued to me. Swaying our hands in the warm breeze that collected our dust, collectively. I giggle at his embrace, I giggled at the way he was oblivious to his innocence, that was so translucent. I stared at his side profile, the only profile of his bald visage that was apparent to me in that moment, and asked again.. "what is your name?"

"my name?"

"Your name." I tap on his head, playfully.

"...hmmm...my name is Thai." He looks up to my eyes, his eyes soaring like a bird leaching onto mines.

"Thai?"

"Thai."

I smiled so bright like his name. It was truly beautiful, magnificent, and it fit him too perfectly.

"what is your name?" He peers his head in response.

"My name is...Pete."

"Pete." His smile brightens even brighter .

"Pete."

"I love it." He stops walking, his eyes grows bigger, and clears his throat almost like he was about to give a speech, while still holding onto my hand.

"Pete and Thai, best of friends!"

"...Already?"

"Already."

.

There never seems to be a passage for these shortcomings. No signs, maybe dreams, but that's all. It's all up to you to experience it all, no head starts, no advice, just go. Eyes wide open, mouth open swung, feet that tell no tales, but it's all a fairytale, it's all a journey. Days and Deja vu like this one, I wished there was map, a book, a bible to guide me, to give lessons of what life was simply about, without having to fall into it, with nothing. Nothing at all. But, then I realized maybe that's exactly why it's called 'life'. We came into this earth with nothing, and we still compromised, and we are going to leave with nothing, compromised or not. It won't matter.

I always feel like I'm wandering, and wandering, and just wandering. Maybe I'm looking for something? Maybe I just like to walk? But, it isn't that, it's never been that. I'm just a wanderer. I simply have no thoughts, no reason, I just do, because I can. I'm at my free will, pulling and pulling at it, endlessly. I'm draining all life in me to feel something. Something so immensely powerful enough to stop my feet from just wandering. I need a stop signal, it seems like everyday. Though, my feelings are impaired, I know sadly what I need. And, it seems like everyone else does too. A stop. I need to stop. I always need to stop. It kills me. Because, I don't want to, but I need to. I need to-

Distracted from my thoughts instantly, was a loud, gasp raining down from Thai's mouth onto the yellow brick road. We have been walking for 2 days.

As I looked ahead to the far view, I saw nothing but corn, and animals. This was the garden of Eden. Hidden in a few bushes. Nothing, whatsoever could compare to what was laying solo in front of my eyes. It was pure beauty, pure beauty it was. The green vines that wrapped around the atmosphere of the corn like origami's, plated like butterflies and stars. The corn, fresh of its smell and color, drowned the air of its play. Freshly packed corn in rows and rows of freedom. Animals, Pigs, horses, ponies, chickens, snakes, and so much more were all scattered beautifully on the land, innocent, quiet. The bees that welcomed us with open arms, and heavy wings carrying us it felt, to our new home. It was piled in green filters, and over washing perfumes of natures, and youth. It was a dream. A dream too earnestly peaceful, I could die in it.

Thai ran past me like a child, down the bushes to our new land. Leaving his blood incense in my nose. He didn't say one word, but that face of his spoke more than he ever did. Thai naked, rushed passed the leaves, cherries, and thorns, his body was lucid, dripping of fresh cuts and blood like water. I watched as the world slowed down, and muted itself in this paradise, only the soft rattles of snakes, and the humming of bees were sounded. The world slowed down to my heartbeat, as I, Pete watched Thai's bald head and naked anatomy slim, side to side, caressing whatever his waist had hit. His ass that was full of its plump, juice, wiggly, teasing the leaves as he slimed by. For his back, curvy and milked, truly mouth drooling, but what caught my eyes nevertheless..was the small symbols that painted it. Ones of stars, circles, fishes painted in red, down his spine to the center of his ass. My mouth swung open, with drooling eyes. But, there was something more appealing on his back, it was the message that read: ข้อห้าม [taboo]. "Taboo."

He had taboo tattooed in red down his back, flawlessly. My eyes shoot towards his soul, signaling him to look back at me, and he did. When he turned around, with those big blue eyes, and that high smile that deleted his eyes, I knew he knew that I knew. We both did. He stared at me for a while, I thought he wasn't real, I couldn't believe how angelic he looked, a star shooting behind him, a halo crowning him. Like that, slow, he turned his head back around, running through the jungle to our new land, leaving his body incense everywhere. "..Thai! Slow down."

Running down the same path Thai has, I smelt the leaves his naked bod rubbed up against. Sniffing, and pulling my nostrils to ever sugared undertone that was fading, drifting away. He was nauseously addictive, even his scent. Hungry I grew, I took the leaves that had the opportunity of kissing his blank canvas, and ate them, shoving them down my throat with great delight. Something was wrong with me, and I knew it. But, I just kept eating away.

.

The rain was still raining.

As me and Thai reached the bottom of our new paradise, we sanctioned everything in our minds and hearts. Closing our eyes, breathing, and touching everything in reach. There was not a better feeling than this one. I was overcame with such jubilant, and happiness, I fell to my knees in response. The memories of me back at the palace were no longer in mind, but the memories of me and Porsche, and our theatrical troupe were the only ones that played. I thought about, what if we never step foot in the palace? What if we never decided to be the 'taboos'? Would we be living a normal life now? What if we just decided to put on plays for our people, and only our people? What if we decided to castaway from the real world, and just walked, and walked until we found here? What if we never fell in love? There was many questions, and possibilities that rode my mind on that green ground. I felt hopeless at the thoughts, because they wouldn't have to be what they were. But, they were. That hurt me. But, there was nothing more I could do. I didn't want to hurt anyone, anymore. I was tired, very, very tired. My soul knew of this tiredness, but my body? Not so much. I was imprisoned by my own self. And, I knew very much of this.

As my thoughts left my head, I brought them back to Thai. Who was just dazzling in my presence of so much joy, and freedom. Whatever he went through prior...he didn't suffer through it anymore, it was like he left everything on that road. The road we met. I was inspired by him in that second to just let everything go. Thai slowly turned back to me, eyeing me at my fallen state. His smile didn't once fall.

"..how nice is the ground?"

He looked like a sun child.

"what?"

This boy confused me more than the world did. No wonder he was so interesting.

"How nice is the ground? You seem comfortable." He grins.

"Do I?" I smile, with a hidden laugh.

"Yes." He laughs.

"Really?"

"Let me join you." He galloped his way to my body, and sat right next to me, not understanding the concept of space, whatsoever. Our sweating arms, and legs colliding into one another, like a knot.

Thai digging his small petite fingers in the grass, feeling every bit of its atom. As he sat playing in that grass next to me, I watched at the many butterflies swarmed him, adorning him. His naked body was plastered in them, from head to toe. Two special ones, landing on his nose, refusing to leave him. I personally envied butterflies. I didn't like the fact that they had wings, or that they were born with legs. I saw them as spoiled little creatures, having it all. If they were scared and wanted to escape, they could either walk or fly. They had two options, always. And, for humans we only had one, always. When I was scared and tortured at a young age for many years, hoping to runaway I wished to be a butterfly. But, none of that matters.

"You don't like butterflies." A small voice spoke to me, bringing me out from the darkness of my mind.

"No." Yes.

Thai was playing with the butterflies not giving me his eyes at all. "Pete...it's okay."

What did he mean it was okay? I did like butterflies, I'm lying. "Thai."

Thai still not looking at my eyes, brings one of the butterflies on his nose into the the palm of his hands. "Pete. You are one weird creature."

One weird creature, I was? No, I wasn't. "You have this thick skin, it's beautiful, really."

"huh?"

Thai starts swaying his hands in the air, like a melodramatic dancer with the butterflies still leaching onto to him. He was like their mother, they loved him, worshipped him, he smiled at their little embrace. "Pete, I am weird creature too. I have thick skin, like yours. I never used to like talking, I still don't. You just make it easier...I understand you. I do. Just know, there is nothing wrong with having thick skin, at all."

I was falling into his words, slipping, and the pounding rain eased me to his voice forevermore. My inside were circulated with light. Distracted, Thai brought the last butterfly on his nose, onto mines with his petite blooded finger. "There. They chose you too." Thai softly pinches my cheek. My eyes shot out in surprise. I couldn't believe there was a butterfly on my nose, on my nose, on me. For the first time in 29 years. Just staying there, it didn't even budge. I slowly turned my head to meet Thai's eyes, I didn't want to scare the butterfly away with too much movement. Finally meeting Thai's eyes their was a subtle awkwardness, I mean my neck was stiff, and my head was slanted weird. I looked a mess. Maybe I was thinking too much, I do that a lot, I can't help myself..but when I looked at Thai's face he looked like he was holding something in, maybe a poop?

Snort! Thai was holding in a laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...your face is just so funny right now." I hiccup at his words, and the butterfly flies away from my nose, a rushing sadness fills me up as I sulk.

"..oh no! did you just hiccup?"

Thai looked into my eyes like I was some cute bear, that irritated me...I was obviously the oldest here...right?

"...no that wasn't a hiccup." I hiccup again, god, what was wrong with me today. I could feel my cheeks light up red, blushed as hell. Thai let's out a screaming laughter, with deleted eyes.

"...man, you are hilarious, and so, so cute." He pinches my cheeks again, fully this time. Ugh.

I quickly fan his hands away from my tightly gripped cheeks. "...hey, how old are you?"

"18." 18?!??! And, he had the audacity to call me cute, his senior?! No this was appalling.

"Then how dare you call me cute, I'm supposed to be saying that to you." I pinch his cheeks in defense, gripping them softly. "So, so cute." I say sarcastically, trying to invoke him.

"Then how old are you?" Thai asks with clutched cheeks, and doe eyes.

"29." I reply confidently.

"...whew...you're old." Thai quickly removes my hands from his face, as he watched my eyes light up in disbelief. He chuckles, as he quickly runs into the distance, the butterflies following right behind him.

I couldn't believe that boy.

"..hey come back here!" I scream into the distance, getting up, and chasing after him.

That evening was filled of screaming laughter, and running feet. Mud everywhere, even on our bodies. We ran into the rain as the butterflies followed glazing us, we flew into the green vine corns, we swam into the lakes. We were happy. Not one negative thought breaking us, molding us. Watching Thai gave me joy, he gave me bliss, he gave me youth, he gave me everything my old heart yearned for. The naked bodies we were, star-seeds. Out of space instruments, we were.

~

That warm summer night, we walked to our blue lagoon lake that was nearby. Following each other's souls closely, eyeing each others movements like a script, drawing one another in mind. But, even closer was a boat. Not any boat, a white crescent one, sleeping lonely by the sand, awaiting us. It had a peculiar gold point at the end. Very sharp, and bold was that point. Decorated in yellow flowers around the rim, and small writings in black that couldn't have been read, for they had their own meaning secluded only for itself. There was also Green vines that wrapped it like a present. It was an old ancient boat, a very pretty one. Laying there in its own solitude, underneath the heavens and the stars, white. I watched Thai examine it closely for a while before jumping in, with no hesitation at all, and I followed him after, like a butterfly. In the boat silence contained our air, and distant stares of admiration, became new. But, then the sound of millions of fireflies surrounding us, became our music. And, we danced to it poetically, still admiring one another's spirit.

The fireflies became our lanterns, and our only source of light, aside from the moon and its stars. I guess we were spoiled of so many lights, that I forgot the brightest one, Thai. He was the best source of light that night, he outshined all the others quite beautifully. Watching Thai be the light, became my favorite activity, I haven't got bored, and I never did. It was just three nights of knowing him, and I knew so much already. I felt like we were born to be together.

We paddled throughout the night in the abyss of glint and soft water. Not having any place in mind. Just following our hearts, and our paddles.

Not haven't spoken a word, but our faces did all the talking, like they usually did. On Thai's face, I read the message of comfort, he was comfortable right where he was. His eyes that were filled with stars, and fireflies ignited a fire inside of me, I wanted to touch that fire with him, and only him. Oh, the way he made me feel was astronomical. That comfort that was clothed on his face, was dressed on mines as well.

I never felt this way with anyone, anyone, I was so used to grounding myself, that I forgot about myself. I was supposed to feel comfortable, I was supposed to feel like a dream, I was supposed to be happy, I supposed to have nights like these all the time, without feeling guilty. I shouldn't have felt guilty. But, I always did. I always felt like I was meant to do everything, and anything that didn't contribute to my own happiness, always. Whether it was cutting myself open, and giving my all to Vegas. Or killing myself mentally to save everyone else's head. I did it all. I did it all, and never once got a thank you, a thank you for all I did. For everything that I sacrificed in my lifetime. And, I am only 29, but I feel 101.

For Thai, those 2 days we've walked, he explained a lot about his childhood, about his origins, his beliefs, about how he killed himself metaphorically, and how he is still dead. I listened to him keenly ramble on about such blue things, but he never once called them blue, he called them a fairytale. He said that every bad thing that has happened to him was just make believe, that he had the choice to make it real or not. He didn't want to live in the reality of just being blue, he wanted to live in reality of multiple colors like the rainbow, feeling all.

"You see, I'm only nineteen and, I've seen the world in so many colors, more colors than any mushroom could ever give to a person. I've seen the world flat, and I've seen the world round, its no different. I've seen it from the top, and from the bottom. From the front, and from the back, it still isn't any different. Having seen it all, I realized the world is such a boring place, we're given all these overused filters that we become immune to. We are bored humans stuck on a place called earth, that we didn't choose to be on. But, it's up to us to see the world in a new light, in a new color. Then, and only then will life seem more livable." When he told me that, I savored it in my mind, like it was my first word.