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everyone always tells me to look at the brightside, but what if there isn't one? who makes me happy? only one person and i'm pretty sure he is getting tired of me. atleast i thought

i was currently crying on the bathroom floor, i have struggled with depression and anxiety since i was 9, vinnie knew about it but i don't think he knew how bad it was.

the thing vinnie doesn't know is that, the way i pass the time is by taking small amounts of drugs and i self harm.

i was sitting on the couch waiting for y/n to come down the stairs, it was 8am. she walked in the bathroom but never came out.

i walked up the stairs and to our bathroom. *knock knock*

i heard a knock at the door, i put the blade under the bathroom mat and shoved all of my dugs under the rugs too. i wiped eyes and said "yes?"

"hi baby, can i come in?" vinnie asked me

"ya, one sec" i responded, i unlocked the door and sat up against the bathroom wall

he looked down at me, he looked at my arm. i forgot to cover it, i quickly covered my arm

vinnie rushed next to me "baby why are you doing that? i thought it was getting better." he said crying as he hugged me

" it was but it came back." i said looking down, he grabbed my chin and said "y/n you struggle with depression, but you can't cut yourself to solve it."

"fine, but then i will continue doing what i'm doing." i said, my eyes went wide because i realized i never told him

"what do you mean 'continue doing what your doing'?" vinnie asked as he looked at me

"look under that rug." i pointed, he grabbed the corner of the rug and grabbed all of my drugs and blades

he put everything on the rug and hugged me "y/n baby, i know things are hard but this will ruin you, it will ruin your brain, drugs are not the answer to it. i love you so much" he said as he placed a kiss on my lips

"i really am sorry, i j-just saw it. i was at really low p-point and i did it, then i kept doing it. i'm sorry i-i really really am, l-like i'm really sorr-"i said but got cut off

"y/n you have nothing to be sorry for, you were at a extremely low point, yes i'm upset that you do it, but i'm more upset that you didn't bother to tell me about what's going on" vinnie told me as he wiped the tears going down my face

"i'm sorry, i promise i won't do that *swatting the drugs away* and this *pointing at my arm*" i said to him looking him in the eyes

"thank you baby, let's clean those cuts ok, and let's throw all of this away. i love you" he said picking me up

"i love you too, and thank you." i said as he kissed my lips

i still struggle but vinnie helps. we love each other

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if you struggle with depression or anxiety or anything, i really do hope everything gets better. there are people that love you, it may not feel like it at moments but there are. i hope all of you have an amazing day❤️