I hadn't done much in the last week other than stay in my apartment, alone. I'd been to see Marcus's parents a couple times, but other than that I feigned a flu to all of my professors and at work. I couldn't bear to face anyone. I felt like I was having an out of body experience as I went through the motions of getting ready in the morning, of eating, of sleeping.

But mostly, I just felt lost.

Marcus wasn't staying in his apartment. I knew that for sure after spending the first few days acting like a ninja avoiding getting caught in the act of walking down the hallway (did I lose respect for myself crawling along the hallway on my hands and knees so Marcus couldn't see me through the peep hole of his door? No. But that guy that walked off of the elevator and saw me crawling on said hands and knees? He definitely lost respect for me).

Marcus' truck wasn't parked outside and I hadn't heard anything from next door via our paper thin walls. I missed him. I missed Marco. I wonder where that dog had gone.

I walked down to the lobby to check my mail box. As I jiggled the key in the socket, a voice calling my name made me jump. "Hey, Mabel."

I turned around abruptly to see Miranda standing there sheepishly, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her hoodie, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"Miranda," I stated in shock, "Hi."

I wondered how much Marcus had told her about us. I knew she wanted to meet together before things happened with Marcus and I. I wondered if Marcus was staying with her and Matt.

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking her a million questions. How was he? Did he miss me? How long was he going to stay away for?

"How are you?" She asked twisting her fingers nervously around the strap of her bag.

I gave her a tentative smile, "You know," my voice wavered uncertainly.

She reciprocated the half smile, "I know. I'd imagine the same as him."

What does she mean? Is he okay? Calm down, Mabel. It's probably nothing. I'm sure he's fine. I cleared my throat and blurted out "How is he?" as casually as possible. Though it sounded nothing of the sort even to me.

She paused, "Honestly? Not good. I've never really seen him so low. He seems so defeated. What happened? He won't tell me anything and I'm just so worried."

My heart raced at the very mention of Marcus and I drank up any information I could get on him. I relished in it.

"I... I don't know," I admitted. "We were having a really good time, Miranda. I don't know what I did to change his mind." My voice shook and my eyes started to well up as I turned away from her to swipe at my eyes in irritation. There was no end to these dumb tears.

She rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around me, "Oh honey, it's not you. He cares so much about you. I see it. Everyone sees it."

I wiped my eyes, completely mortified that I just cried on this girl I barely knew. "Please don't tell Marcus I cried on you," I chuckled.

She laughed in return, "As long as you don't tell him I came to see you to dig for answers."

I shrugged, "Honestly I'm not sure what to think. He took me to a drive in theatre," Miranda nodded her head in recognition so I continued, "and we saw Ethan. They talked or argued and then he just... shut down."

Miranda sighed, "I was hoping it wasn't that." She glanced at me, "Listen, you have to understand that Marcus still carries a lot of the guilt from that on his shoulders. Ethan was like a little brother to all of us. He doesn't know how to cope with what happened and it's easier to put the blame on someone. So he put it all on Marcus. All of us were around for Vanessa's mental health struggles. We all tried. We all miss her. But Marcus thinks he can shoulder the responsibilities on his own. That's his thing. He processes things alone. Until you came along. It was like having the old Marcus around."

I took a moment to process her words and I felt a fresh wave of missing Marcus wash over me. I wished he was here. "I want to help, Miranda. I just don't know how."

She smiled at me, "Just don't give up on him. Marcus always pulls through for people he loves. You just need to be patient." Miranda paused, "and let me know if you need anything."

Did Marcus love me? I wasn't so sure. But it's not like I was going anywhere anytime soon so I gave her a short nod as she handed me a post it note with her number written on it.

It's not like I could let go of him when he was tied to my heart so tightly.

-.-.-.-

"So, in short Mr. and Mrs. Garcia, your son is a really stubborn piece of work," I finished my rambling as I trimmed off the ends of the new bouquet I had bought for Marcus' parents grave. I tied the flowers together with a piece of twine and placed it down for a moment as I emptied the vase from the flowers from the day before.

I placed the new daisy bunch into the vase, careful not to step over a bouquet of wild flowers that was placed purposefully on the floor. Was that from Marcus?

"There," I smiled at the new bunch of flowers. "That should be good for a couple days. Hope you're both looking down at Marcus from where you are. And don't worry, I'm looking out for him here too."

Now, hear me out. If I saw someone else visiting the grave of an ex-boyfriend's parents, I'd think they were crazy too (jury's still out for me).

But, I felt a connection with Marcus when I was here. And I wanted his parents to know that I hadn't left him alone especially when he was going through such a difficult time. I'd always be there for him even if it wasn't in the way I wanted to be there for him.

I sat down in front of the graves and crossed my legs, staring intently at his parents. I had to figure out how to get Marcus to understand that this wasn't his fault. He couldn't control every situation no matter how hard he tried. No matter how much he wanted to.

Sitting there in front of Marcus's parents is where I realized there was only one person who could convince Marcus that it was okay to move on with his life but keep Vanessa's memory alive in his heart. And that person currently hated Marcus.

I pulled out my phone and dialled a number I thought I would never actually use.

Miranda's voice answered right away, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Mabel. I have a favour to ask you."

I knew I had to talk to Ethan.

>>

Just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for reading and commenting. It means so much to me ❤️