If I thought staying at Matt's and Miranda's place was bad, I should have been prepared for Joey's. He was a mess. He left crap everywhere. His sink was constantly full of dirty dishes. He wore shoes in his house. Honestly, he was absolutely disgusting.

But above all, being around Joey just reminded me of my days before Mabel. Drunk and immature and not giving a shit who I hurt in the process. I couldn't help but think about what she heard through those walls. It made me feel embarrassed and unworthy. Even more than I already did.

What did it matter now? I wasn't ever going to be around her again. She'd never want me back. I was an idiot. And I deserved a lifetime of unhappiness for being one.

"...So anyway, I told her we had to go to her place because I had a friend staying over and she got all weird like I didn't have a place to stay or something." Joey concluded his long winded story, though I tuned him out for the first fifteen minutes. Heading him bitch wasn't worth a couch to sleep on.

Not to mention, Marco was driving me up the wall. All he did was whine and act depressed. It was as though he missed Mabel more than I did. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind.

"You know, I just realized I was going to see my grandpa today." I interrupted Joey in the middle of who the hell knows what he was talking about.

"Oh, okay," He chirped, "want me to keep Marco here? You love me, don't ya, buddy?" He enthused using a baby voice while speaking to him.

Marco lifted his head and shot him an indifferent look before laying his head against his paws again.

"That's okay, I think he needs to get out anyways," I replied as I stood up and grabbed my wallet, whistling for Marco to follow.

As Marco lounged halfheartedly in the seat next to me, I wondered why I always found myself in this situation. Dreading when something amazing would land in front of me just so that it could be taken away again. Sometimes it was all so exhausting.

And I just really missed Mabel. I'd never felt like this with anyone before. I'd never felt this kind of love. I'd never been this in love.

I arrived at my grandfather's neighbourhood to the sound of sirens and smoke in the air. Immediately, my heart began to beat manically. No. I couldn't take another loss. I parked my car in a rush and jumped out of my truck, Marco right next to me with renewed energy. I think he knew something was wrong and that worried me most of all.

I ran towards my grandfather's house to see it fully intact and I let out a sigh of relief before I looked next door and noticed the colossal amount of flames emerging from every doorway and window. The smoke was thick in the air and I noticed a squad was attempting to put the flames out, two fire trucks already on the premises, an ambulance siren nearby.

I finally found my grandfather's old frame leaning against the wall and I ran up to him, wrapping my arms around his frail body. "You're okay," I breathed out a sigh of relief.

He nodded at me, his gaze solemn and set on the flames near us. "How will that family ever recover from this?"

"Did everyone get out?" I asked in a panic.

He nodded and I took him by the arm. "It's not safe here. The firefighters should have moved you away already."

I held onto his arm as he felt increasingly more frail in mine. I led him to one of the firefighters and asked for water for fear that he'd faint and they swiftly retrieved a bottle for him as he sat in the ambulance that had just pulled up.

Marco sat next to me, but he seemed jumpy. I couldn't put my finger on it, he was just overly active. And for such a large dog, that wasn't normal for him. He specialized in moving his body the least amount possible.

He whined and placed his paw over his face repeatedly or used his teeth to nip at my pants. "Shush, Marco," I demanded authoritatively, which usually shuts him up but he was determined right now.

The family that had gotten out of the house were crying as their home burnt to flames in front of their eyes. My senior grandfather had ingested a good amount of carbons dioxide and was coughing up a storm. The last thing I needed was Marco whining about what was likely being hungry. "Enough Marco!" I shouted in frustration as he whined and placed his head on the floor, covering his eyes with his paws.

"Are you okay?" I asked my grandfather and he nodded just as I saw Marco make a dash away from me. And into the burning house.

"Marco!" I shouted at the top of my lungs but he was already inside the house.

Without hesitating, I ran after him only hearing the distant voice of my grandfather shouting, "Mijo, no!"

A hand shoved me back as I approached the house and I stared a firefighter down. "You can't go in there! That building is gonna collapse at any moment!"

"My dog's in there!" I screamed back. If my training had taught me anything, it was to never go into a house that was on fire as a civilian. I had no equipment, no team; only a dog that had stupidly decided to be active for the first time in his life. But this was also my companion dog. And it felt like both Mabel's and my dog. I couldn't let him go. It felt like letting another piece of her go.

So I waited until the firefighter turned around and I took my hoodie off, drenching it in water and holding it over my mouth before running into a burning building. Like a moron.

"Marco!" I screamed but got no answer. I tried to follow the trajectory of where I thought he would go but he was a goddamned dog and I had no idea where his thoughts would take him. Probably the fridge.

I walked into the living room, ducking under a beam that had broken and was in flames. "Marco!" I called again and heard a whimper. I walked closer to the sound to see Marco tugging a puppy by the scruff of its neck, looking almost passed out.

"Shit," I whispered as I coughed, my wet hoodie now mostly dry. I needed to get out of here. Marco ran in front of me and as he reached the living room, another beam crashed down right in front of me, blocking me from the doorway. Shit.

The smoke got so bad that I couldn't see anything in front of me. Breathing became a struggle. I was coughing so much I thought I might hack up a lung.

I fell to my knees, my hoodie falling to the floor as well, feeling the flames beginning to envelop me. My knees began to burn. All I could see was smoke. All I could smell was burning flesh and wood. All I could feel was pain.

And all I could think was that if I got out of here, I'd make things right with Mabel. Because I deserved more than this cloud of torment in my life. I had to stop living in the past. Where would that leave me? Alone in a burning building and stuck, in this case literally, never moving forward.

I made a vow. If I get out of here, I'll win Mabel back and never let her go again.