Luke •

The lunch seemed so pass by smoothly with Miley. We talked about nothing to everything. We really enjoyed a lot. It was our first date, and I was looking forward to so many more.

As I took off my tshirt, to lie down in bed, a ghost of a smile remained on my face as I remembered today's afternoon.

"You're really happy today, after lunch." Gillian smiled at me from the bed. She was lying under the covers.

"Yeah.. meeting with Dean was great." I ssaid, internally laughing. Lying was not supposed to be fun Luke... guess meeting Miley has changed me.

"Oh and also Luke, I have to tell you something." She said and sat straight up on the bed, back against the back board.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going out for a girls day out tomorrow with Clorrisa and Daniella. It's been a while since us girls got dressed and painted our nails, so I'll be out for the day."

"Will you look after Holly for me please?" She finished.

"Yeah, sure." I said not really feeling anything. If she had to go, she should.

"Okay, thank you. Now hurry up and cuddle with me." She chuckled.

I jumped on the bed, diving under the covers my hand sneaking around Gill's waist as I pulled her closer to my side. I rested my head in her neck.

"I love you Luke." She said.

"I love you too." I said, but my thoughts were different. I wasn't imagining Gill, I was imagining Miley and my body stiffened.

Did I just say this to her while imagining Miley?

******

The next morning, Gillian was gone and the house was awfully quiet.

I didn't talk to Holly about anything like I promised Miley, I know I should but then Miley will lose her trust on me.

I switched the TV channel and stopped at a boring football match I have seen three times now. I let it play anyways when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turned around to look at Holly walking into the kitchen.

"Hey?" I jumped up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen, behind Holly.

"Do you want me to make something for you?" I asked.

She didn't reply, opened the fridge and took out a frozen yoghurt.

"Something like a Sunday breakfast?"

She let out a huff and slammed the yoghurt on the kitchen slab before turning towards me.

"No dad! I don't want anything from you!" She yelled.

It's fine, I know she's angry, I'll let it pass. Don't react Luke.

"Holly, eat something please.. I'll make you chocolate chip pancakes and I also bought maple syrup for you yesterday. For lunch I'll make you your favourite stuffed tacos which are unhealthy as s.hit but you love them." I said a smile on my face.

A smile appeared on her face but then it faded.

"Dad, we need to sort this out some day, you know that right?" She said, her eyes filling with tears.

I pulled her in my arms and she kept her head on my chest.

I hummed to a song I had made for Holly when she was 3, and she used to sleep to it and only it. Once I had to go out for business so I recorded it on Gills phone so that she could listen to it and sleep.

"You can share anything with me Holly. From family problems to boy problems to period problems" she chuckled at the end.

"I know. I'm not that comfortable with mom though. All she cares about is Polly and her college life. Her rich boy friends and perfect scores." Holly wiped her nose.

"No baby, she loves you. Even before leaving today, she asked me to keep an eye on you, she loves you and Polly equally. Polly is different Holly. And well I don't know about her, but I do love you more." I said.

Her eyes shone.

"Really dad? Is it because she's not your . . . ?"

"I don't think so. I've always felt negative vibes from her. I'd take a bullet for her and I do love her, but with you there's a connection." I smiled and shook her head.

Polly wasn't mine, when I met Gillian we were 16 and she was pregnant with Polly. Some guy used her and left her when she was pregnant. I didn't mind though, I loved Gillian how she was. But as I grew older, I realised that I wasn't into girls older than me or girls my age anymore, I liked smaller girls. Girls who were innocent, who didn't know anything about the world. I haven't got a kink, no. Not even pedophillia, atleast according to me but I just have a thing for younger girls.

"Dad can I tell you something? Promise me you'll not disown me." Holly said as she fiddled with her fingers.

"Of course."

"Don't tell mom this, at least for now. Because she will surely disown me."

I nodded.

"Dad - um - I think . . . No actually I know that" She stuttered.

"Holly, say it. I'm not going to burst." I said and rubbed my hands on her back.

"Dad I think that I'm Gay."

"As in happy?" I asked, my voice coming out more like a squeal.

"No dad. Like - gay gay." She said biting her lip.

Okay. It's okay. She has her sexual preference, it's fine, isn't it? Yes it's fine Luke, you haven't personally faced this or known anyone gay but it's okay.

My daughter was a lesbian. Hum, I should get used to this rolling off my tongue. Right now it feels weird I need to process it.

"But didn't you have a crush on that boy?"

"No dad, it was a lie. All of it was." She said.

"You know your mom's a -" I said when she stopped me.

"Homophobe I know. That's why I was afraid. I was afraid you'd tell her. Because of me being like this, I get bullied at school too. That's why I wanted to change schools." She said.

I pulled her in for a hug, my 16 year old was struggling and I didn't even know.

"I'm here for you. I'll fight anyone. And I accept you. Sure the idea is new to me but it's not bad. Never feel bad about yourself, I like you for the person you are not because of you gender. Okay?"

She nodded and hugged me back

****