Open letter

How do you figure out your feelings once that someone is not by your side anymore? Maybe it is a bad luck in love or a simple disinterested. I wish sometimes I could go back in time and not to change your decision but to change something specific. It might sound like I'm contradicting myself but that's the only thing I wish for. So many things could have been better if I stand up for myself and for what I wanted. And who I wanted. I guess no one told me that love could be so effortless and that it could slipped easily from my hands. I could say that I wish things were different but I don't think that this love was meant to be.

In movies You see beautiful scenes and you dream about it with someone. You wish it would happen to you. Just like a simple date at the beach watching sunset. Wouldn't it be romantic enough?

I have my ways to cope with what I think could have happened wouldn't be so different. But the only thing I want at this moment is to go back in time and do things differently.

Like... do you remember the first time we met? It felt like a dream come true. At least for me. I don't know about you. See.. here is where I would do things different. I had never asked you what did you think when you first saw me. I have never asked you what was your feelings when i told you i like you. If only our communication were clearer, I wouldn't be here having all these questions in my head and only for myself. Like a conversation with myself feeling like I'm stupid. I know now you are happy with the one you made your wife. I don't wanna come out selfish but I was too late or maybe i didn't insist. But I respect your decision because our destiny wasn't in our hands. If i could had a time machine I would have change that.

not for you to choose me but at least I could have a moment with you. Make memories that I would never forget.

For this weird future i wish this feeling was never here so we can meet again. So we can talk like two normal people. I don't ask you to be friends but at least we can catch up some time. Oh by the way, I still feel guilty to make you feel like you hurt me. But it wasn't your fault. It's only me. I'm the only one that felt this way. Maybe I was dreaming too much. A fantasy world that this world can never archive. Simulation of a movie scene, too beautiful to become reality. As deep as it might feel, i thank you for snapping me out of it and bringing me back to this reality.

I wonder how you are and if you think of me. I have so many questions to ask but that is only if we meet again.

~TINS~