For a mother who always seemed so wrapped up in herself, I was incredibly surprised by my mother's intuition after I had returned from Birmingham. She just knew that I'd slept with Brandon. She said that she just sensed that I had lost my virginity.

I think she also sensed that I had become embroiled in something that she knew I would have real trouble handling. Which was why, she said that if I was to go to London to see Brandon again, that she would be accompanying me.

I had reluctantly agreed.

I'd never been to London. I would also be meeting the girls that myself and Sian had met in the hotel loo in Birmingham. It was a crazy time, it really was. A senseless but exciting time.

The trip to London was one, that I didn't know how it would go. I just knew that I had to see Brandon again, because the London shows were to be the last of the European tour for his brother and the rest of the band. After London, Brandon would be returning to America.

So, myself and my mum, we met the girls in London, for the next part of my Brandon Buchanan adventure.

That adventure led me to The Docklands. Even though I didn't have tickets to see the show, I just wanted to see Brandon himself. After hours of waiting around, some of the crew recognised me, and told Brandon as soon as he had arrived at the venue. You should have seen the faces of the fans, when he sent security men to come and get me. Their mouths nearly dropped to the floor, as I was lifted over gate after gate.

"Hey, it's good to see you." Brandon warmly had told me, before giving me a very hearty hug. "The security is crazy here, so I don't think I'll be able to get you into the concert later, but will you meet me at the hotel later on?"

Just pleased to see him, to be back in his arms again, had made me happy. I had worried that after us having sex, that he would ignore me. So for him to have still wanted to see me, allayed all of those fears. For a short while, we talked and cuddled. Brandon gave me the telephone number to his hotel room, and we had made plans to see each other later that night.

But you know how I said the universe often felt like it was trying to stop me from being with Brandon? Yeah, well I think it really was.

That night, I had slipped down the hotel stairs that I was staying at. From top to bottom, I had slid down each curved and carpeted step; ending up with my face smushed up against a wall.

My friend from Nuneaton was on the phone to her mum at the time, and had watched the entire thing happen with wide open eyes and a shocked mouth. "God, are you okay, Mary Rose?" Keely had asked with lilted panic.

The result?

A badly sprained ankle. So badly sprained, that I had to call Brandon that night, to tell him that I couldn't meet him. He did sound disappointed, but I honestly couldn't stand on my injured foot. "Rest it up, then come and see me tomorrow morning, okay?"

Just as disappointed as he was, I quietly had agreed. "Okay."

After sleeping with my foot high on pillows, I put on a dress that I had bought especially for Brandon, on that sunny Sunday morning, before I had limped my way to see him in the London hotel. What a sight I must have been with my heavily bandaged foot!

Escorted in by security, I was taken up to Brandon's room. With excited nerves, I had tapped a couple of times on the door. When it opened, I was greeted with a still-wet and half-naked sight. "I've missed you!" He eagerly welcomed me inside.

With only a white towel wrapped his soaked body, Brandon hugged me really hard. It was then, that I was able to feel just how much he had really missed me. "I can see that for myself." I had joked, unable to drag my eyes away from his tented erection beneath the fluffy towel.

Kissing me, but with far less gentleness and patience, Brandon unexpectedly threw me onto the bed. "Owwww!" I had cried out, wincing at the pains that had shot up through my injured ankle. "What are you doing, Brandon?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your ankle, but today will be our last day together."

Removing myself from the large, unmade hotel bed, I was angry. "I haven't come here for that, Brandon. I just thought we could spend some time together?"

Once he knew that sex was most certainly off the table, his whole demeanour changed towards me. "Sure, but I don't have long. We are all going out to do a bit of sight-seeing, then we've got the wrap party here, later on." He was talking, but no longer looking at me.

"I won't be able to make the wrap party, as my train is this afternoon." I told him, feeling kind of gutted inside.

"Can't you get the train back tomorrow?" He had asked so sulkily.

Knowing that my mum had already had enough of London, I could only shake my head with sad regret. "I can't, my mum wants to get back."

It was here that I wanted Brandon to offer up some kind of an alternative... something, just to make the already shitty morning better than it so disappointingly was. "That's a shame." Was all that he glumly gave to me. That, and an unsaid dismissing of me.

Clinging to a morsel of optimism, I had stepped nearer to him. "Can we stay in touch? I mean, I'm not expecting wedding bells and a white picket fence or anything, but I'd really love to be able to write to you, maybe?" My question to Brandon was loaded with some regret. Weighted with much more hope.

He smiled. "Yeah, sure." For a moment, my heart had happily soared, only to bitterly then fall. On a scrappy piece of paper, I had to watch while Brandon was writing down the information of his brother's fan club address. With an immature aloofness, he then gave it to me. "There you go."

Him doing that, it hurt like hell.

Him doing that, made me realise the real, and the only reason why, I had been asked to go to that hotel room on that morning.

With hurt and disappointment in my tear-stained eyes, I simply screwed up the address in my hand and shakily then said. "Bye, Brandon."

I remember walking out of that hotel room, then being escorted by a security man out of the hotel, with hurt burning the entire insides of my being. The realisation that I had given my virginity to someone who didn't ever deserve it, had sown a self destruct seed in the core of my wounded soul.

Whilst I was being comforted outside by my newest of friends, Brandon came out of the hotel. The fans in London were even more crazy and loud than they'd ever been in Brighton and Birmingham—and didn't he just love that!

Just as I had been previously warned, Brandon wasn't the famous Buchanan, yet he acted like he was. I watched him strut out of that hotel, like he was a somebody...and that made me feel like an invisible nothing.

I couldn't fall apart on the train back home with my mum, but as soon as I was within the safety of my four bedroom walls, I completely did. I fell apart, and I didn't know how I would ever fix myself again.

The girls I had met in London, each kindly called to check on me the very next day. They also had some gossip that they individually wanted to share with me. Somehow, they had managed to get into the hotel by befriending an adopted brother of one of the other band members. The wrap party had finished, but the celebrating hadn't. It was then, that they all saw Brandon. He was ridiculously drunk, and apparently, was feeling very sorry for himself. When the girls told him that they were my friends, and that they weren't happy with how he had treated me, his slurred reply was. "I liked Mary Rose, I liked her a lot...but I messed it all up."

Yeah Brandon, I think we were both very guilty of that.