Chapter – 16

It was pitched dark, gloomy night; Six horses ran from the middle of the deep jungle at the speed of a ray. The roar of the tiger frighten Jalal; he knew time was slipping from his hand. He was not scared of a tiger, but every passing minute was scaring him. While riding his recalled her word, 'Many times, thoughts emerged in my mind to end my worthless life.' He cursed himself for not reading her silence. He wanted to reach as fast as possible.

Finally, they reached Pandit Raghavendra's Hermitage. Jalal carried Jodha in his arms; her pulses were dropping precariously. Even in her unconscious state, it was clearly visible that she was struggling to breathe. Her face turned ashen, and her lips turned white. He was losing his patience and senses with each passing second. Soon nervousness and panic captured his intellectual stability.

Jalal impatiently yelled at the top of his voice, "Open the door." He waited for an answer for a few seconds, but instantly he got aggravated. He was not ready to wait any longer for a response, so he kicked the door in an alarming thrust. It was the middle of the night; everyone in the Ashram was sleeping peacefully.

Jalal shouted once again with his piercing screech, "HELP... Can someone help?" his roar awakened every person with a sudden shock. The Hermitage's chief Pandit almost ran in horrified tremor towards the door and glowered at Jalal with little resentment, but soon he understood the situation when he saw Jodha in his arms. Fortunately, Jodha was one of his students; he recognized her immediately.

Jalal anxiously pleaded, "I have no time to explain the details panditji, she requires medical attention quickly. Do you have any Hakim (doctor) in your Hermitage? My wife has drunk poison, and she does not have much time left." He took a brief pause to see Pandit's reaction; when he didn't receive any response from him, he continued in a begging tone, "Please help me, I will give you anything you want, you can take my life, but please cure my queen." Pandit looked at Jalal with a confused expression. His tears and vulnerable condition was painful to see.

Pandit replied in composing tones, "Please calm down, child, put Jodha on the bed; I will try my best to save her." Jalal got surprised to hear her name, but at that moment, he had no interest in finding out how he knows her name or have any other conversation.

"Do you know how many hours ago she took poison and when she lost her consciousness?" Pandit inquired in a composed manner.

"About three hours ago," Promptly, he responded while staggering with anxiety; his entire body was shivering out of fear. For a while, he had forgotten that he was a king and acted like a common man trying to save his wife. At that moment, he did not care to mask his emotions.

First, Pandit checked her pulse and eyes to see how deeply poison has impacted; his calm and impassive face filled with fearful expressions after checking her vitals.

A graceful old lady Trishla, Pandit's wife, and some students stand near the door, watching Jalal and Jodha. Seeing Pandit's expression, she could tell that Jodha's condition was critical. She was shocked to see a strong man shivering and frightened, Lady Trishla instantly got a glass of water to calm him, but Jalal denied it.

Jalal could see she was sinking; her breathing was too short, and she was struggling to gulp air. She looked in terrible pain; he never felt this scared before in his life; he felt like everything had vanished. His heartbeats were so rapid that his ears began to ring with that. His hands were shaking, and unstoppable tears were flooding out. He did not care that he was crying in front of ordinary people. As always, when it comes to Jodha, he forgot his wits and lost senses; he never imagined, not even in his dreams, that she could take such a drastic step.

A few minutes later, he took a little control over himself, gradually his wisdom came back, and he skimmed through the people and surroundings. His eyes fall on a small Krishna temple in the corner of the room. Right away, he instructed Abdul to take off his shoes out, and he also went out of the room to take off his shoes.

He came inside and sat in front of the Hindu temple, which surprised Abdul. He folded his hands and bent down; his eyes were filled with remorse and tears. He recalled how Jodha lit Diya before praying, so he first lit the Diya (candle) with divine faith and began to pray. In a pleading tone, he prayed, "Lord Krishna, Now Jodha's life is in your hand, so please cure her. She has worshiped you day and night, and also, she has immense faith in you; I am begging you; If you have to take someone's life, then take mine instead of her. I am the one who is the culprit; I deserve to die, not her."

Pandit stopped for a moment when he saw his intense repent in front of God. Abdul was shocked seeing Jalal praying to a Hindu god.

After the prayer, his mind again got diverted towards Jodha. Her condition was getting worse and worse with every passing second. He silently slurred, "Ohh... Jodha, why have you done this? I will never forgive you for this senseless and scary foolishness."

He was walking back and forth, running his hand through his soft, tousled black hair. He was repetitively blabbering and asking Pandit again and again about her condition in a panicked tone."

Abdul was horrified, but he was surprised to see Jalal's condition; he couldn't believe that this is the same person he knew from his childhood. Who always stayed calm and controlled under challenging times; even when his father died, he was not this terrified and concerned. Jalal, who always acted as per preplanned strategy and always balanced, was almost awful and unbelievable to see him out of his mind and carried away wholly. His face... His walk... His talk... His fear... everything was obviously visible on his face. None of his emotions were masked. An enormous impatience and nervousness in his sound were freaking him. Abdul was concerned for Queen Jodha, but more for Jalal.

Pandit gave Jodha an ark, so she began to spit out poison and blood from her mouth.

Seeing more blood flooding out from her mouth, Jalal's eyes filled with terror; he sat next to her and murmured while holding her hand tenderly, "Why didn't you kill me instead of punishing me this way. I'd rather die than go through this pain. It feels like my heart is going to burst anytime. Jodha, I am so feared that I am losing all my senses; what if something happens to you? I cannot bear to see you fading. Without you, I will not survive; once again, I will be empty and soulless. Oh god, I don't know why I was cruel; Why I can't control my anger when it comes to you. I guess because you are the only one who has touched my soul and became part of my heart, so I expect more from you. Please come back and forgive me; I will never hurt you like this again. For God, sake, wake up." He burst out with sobbing and tears.

Three hours had passed, but there was no sign of improvement in Jodha. Panditji made Jodha throw up the poison with the help of medications, but still, there was no improvement.

Jalaal was asking Panditji repeatedly and impatiently about her condition; he could read evidently that his hopes were sinking as the time passed. Another thirty minutes passed. Jalal began to feel suffocated; his headache increased with extreme pain. He felt like his head is going to explode soon; suddenly, his body was covered with beads of sweat. Due to severe stress, his heartbeat rapidly increased. His own words began to haunt his ears louder than before. 'Talaq (Divorce)' He sensed his body his giving up slowly.

By every passing second, he was losing his little leftover patience. For a few times, he even lost his temper and manners when he noticed no improvement and has not only shouted, but threatened Pandit, "If something happens to Jodha, I will not spare you." and then a few seconds later, he apologized for his action. Lastly, Panditji stopped paying attention to Jalal. He could see that he is nervous and worrying about the unknown. Panditji, without any response to Jalal's acts, was quietly doing his best, treating Jodha. It was still dark but close to morning. After six hours of treatment, there was no improvement in her condition; even it got worse to a point Pandit was counting silently her last few breaths left. Her breathing became extremely slow; her pulse was almost nil. She was not indeed struggling to breathe; her chest slowly moved up and down; as if no strength was left to proceed further.

Panditji, with a frightened and troubled expression, at last, he declared in a low tone, "I don't think I will be able to do anything more. I have given her anti-poison medication to reverse the effects of poison, but I don't see any effect so far. It seems like she has given up; her inner strength and desire to fight has died. Seems like she has only a few more breath left. Unfortunately, it is out of my hands to save her now."

Jalal couldn't believe what he heard and saw; his heart started beating faster, his blood boiled up with worry; his anxiety was at an extreme. He started feeling short of breathing. He said in a stammering tone, "No... Jodha...No Jodha... You cannot leave me. I will not let you go." Suddenly, he lost his balance; he couldn't stand still... his legs felt like jello... his vision began to fade. He could not see Jodha clearly; within seconds, he collapsed next to her bed on the floor.

Abdul and Panditji both got terrified seeing Jalal's condition. Pandit loudly said, "He got a panic attack." He instructed Abdul to start rubbing his legs and loosen up his clothes.

As soon as he lost consciousness from the real world, he saw a vision in his unconscious state; he was running frightened in a very dark cave-like a crazy man, there was no one around, and he was alone, it was pitch dark, and he was screaming madly "JODHA... JODHA."

His eyes were pouring with unstoppable tears. He just ran aimlessly; Soon, far away, he saw a dim brightness with his low faded vision, ran even faster towards the light, his tears were making his vision blurred. He wiped his tears coarsely to see further. When he saw Jodha, standing close to the light waiting for him to catch up, once again, he felt his heart began to beat. He ran as fast as he could towards the bright radiance of his life. He could see she didn't cross towards the light as she was waiting for him precisely between dark and light crossover. Instantly he realized that, once she crossover, he will lose her forever. He knew she was going away from him to an unseen world. He shouted out loudly, "Jodha, wait for me," she was fighting and struggling to wait for him, but some unknown force was pulling her to cross over. She heard his loud sound; she turned back with teary eyes and stopped for a second and shouted so Jalal could listen to her. "Jalal, I don't want to go."

He reached near her and tried to grab her hands, but she was out of his reach. They were able to see each other clearly. In a pleading tone, Jalal said, "Jodha, Please don't leave me alone here; please don't go."

With enormous tears, she responded in a pained tone, "Jalal, I am trying, but I can't come back from here. I have no strength left to come back, but I will be right here waiting for you till you come; you have to go back; you have so many responsibilities to fulfill, but before you go back, I want to tell you something." after a brief pause she confessed, "Jalal, I love you, I love you more than my life. My heart and my soul belongs to you only, and I will wait for you till eternity."

Jalal roared with anger, "Jodha, I am tired of you... Why everything has to be decided by you? If you are leaving, then I will cross over with you. You can't leave me in the middle. You have to come back for me; what we share with each other is love. A deep, profound love; what I feel... there is nothing that possibly can be deeper than this. I cannot live without you; if this is called love, then yes, I love you; I love you more than anything else in the world. Your powerful love has transformed me; I will leave everything to be with you; nothing matters more compared to your love. I have a heart, and that belongs to you only. Jodha, please come back; come back for your Jalal; Or I will cross over with you. Please try harder to come back to me; he forwarded his hands and said, give me your hand; I will pull you back, and if I can't, then you have to take me with you."

His words suddenly gave her immense energy; with all the strength, she gathered herself and advanced her hands towards him, and Jalal swiftly grabbed her hands and pulled her in his embrace.

Jalal felt water on his face and heard Abdul yelling, "Shahenshah."

Jalal came back to sense and saw Abdul's worried face. He realizes he had lost consciousness, and then he recalled what happened in his dream. He immediately realized Jalal with anxious expressions and got up to see Jodha with all his strength.

Panditji calmly asked, "Shahenshah, How are you feeling?"

Jalal had no interest in responding to his question; he asked him impatiently, "How is Jodha?"

Panditji, with a cheerful and surprising tone, replied, "Shahenshah, this is a miracle. Jodha came back from another world. She had stopped breathing, and her pulse was nil for more than five minutes. Suddenly, she began to breathe again, and the medicine has also started working; her heartbeats are also absolutely normal now. With God's blessing, she has survived, and she should be awake within a few hours."

Jalal's stress was relieved, and with a content feeling, he folded his hands with teary eyes and said, "Panditji, You have saved my life today. I will be obliged to you my entire life. Please, tell me what I can do for you? You will get anything you ask for."

Panditji cheerfully replied, "Shahenshah, thank you for this honor, but I don't want anything. I have minimal needs, and they're already fulfilled. Also, I can't take anything from you since Jodha was my student. I have to save her life." then Panditji put his hand on Jalal's shoulder with a smile and walked out of the room with Abdul to arrange for medicine and their stay for the night.

Jalal sat beside Jodha; he pressed his perfectly shaped lips against her lifeless pale cheek. Jalal was still shocked by Jodha's suicide attempt. He was feeling agitated at Jodha for this drastic crazy decision. Many thoughts roamed around his mind while waiting for her to come back to consciousness.

Finally, after an hour, early morning, Jodha's hand moved slightly. Jalal was sitting on the floor beside her bed while resting his head on her bed. When he felt a small movement, his heart began to beat briskly. He instantly grabbed her hand, sat beside her on the bed, and waited for her to open her eyes.

She felt her eyelids were heavy to lift; after some struggle, she slowly opened her eyes. After a few seconds, her fuzzy vision got cleared, and she saw Jalal sitting beside her, holding her hand with his dreadful face. It didn't take her long to comprehend that she has survived the suicide. He's furious and angry eyes were staring at her without a blink with piercing gaze mixed with extreme love, care, and resentment. After a few seconds, her face strained with a line of fear. She didn't understand how to react to this situation. Out of guilt, she was not able to see in his captivating eyes for long.

Eventually, Jalal broke the silence while controlling his extreme fury. In a bitter, sarcastic tone, he said, "Welcome back to your HELL life, queen Jodha."

Jodha pulled her hand away from him, and slowly with her hand support, she sat on the bed. "Why did you save my life?" She blurted frustratingly

The way she asked, her tone annoyed him further. He lost all of his control, and his temper went out of the roof. His major weakness, his anger, again took control over him; before thinking further, he got up from the bed and slapped Jodha on her face, then loudly yelled, " What do you think of yourself? How could you take this drastic decision? How dare you? You are the most stupid, senseless, crazy person I have ever known; you didn't think once about me, do you even realize that you have almost killed me? You have hurt me the worst way you could today. I have never felt this much pain in my life."

He paused for a moment, realizing what he did; he exasperatingly rolled his hand in messy hair and continued in composed but in a grumpy tone, "Do you know Jodha, in our relationship you have always decided everything from the beginning. I know I have made many mistakes, but I have always apologized. And let me tell you something; I wish you would have understood my unspoken words. Your space in my life is very distinct, and yes, you are the only one capable of making me cry, smile, and hate. Every small action of yours has an impact on my life. Today successfully, you broke me into million pieces. Not once, but I have died many times in the past few hours. Once again, I apologize for everything I have done, including saving your life, and in the future, I will have no expectations from you. I will never request you for my rights. You can live your life the way you want. You decide everything." Jalal moved back two steps away from her with moist eyes; he looked utterly broken and shattered. He instantly turned around and began to walk towards the door.

Before he could walk out, with all her strength, she got up from the bed quickly, and with teary eyes, she regretfully called, "Shahenshah...please... wait." Her sound was trembling with hesitation; she was feeling fragile and was not able to stand correctly.

Jalal heard her unsteady sound and realized she had gotten up from the bed; he swiftly turned back and walked towards her to keep her from falling. He wrapped his hand around her waist to support her from falling. Jodha slowly opened her eyes and gazed into his eyes with love without a blink; after a few seconds, she said in a faint tone, "Forgive Me." with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes, she understood his discomfort, anger, and pain she caused him. Seeing him in this condition, she realized that she was utterly wrong to take this drastic step. How vulnerable and helpless he sounded in his anger; even though he slapped her, she could feel how angry but sad he was. To comfort his pain and deep wounds, she straightened up and hugged him tightly with all her strength, which somewhat surprised him. Jalal gulped his tears while crushing her inside him. After a long cuddle, duo apart with relief.

"Shahenshah, Please forgive me; I don't know what had happened to me; when I saw you flirting with Kanika, deep down, that pinched my heart, and when you ignored me, my brain stopped working, and on top of it, you asked for Talak (divorce) and gave me an ultimatum to accept or leave you. Which tore me apart completely; I never thought that you could leave me just like that. I got aggravated, thinking about how you could force me to accept you. You don't care about my feelings, or maybe you want to get rid of me. I felt I had no option left; nothing was in my control; that is why I took this drastic step." She tried to defend herself for her action.