Chapter 30:

Jalal's state of mind

Why did I get upset with Jodha? Don't I doubt Badi Ammi?

Then, Why am I disappointed when Jodha questioned? She has a valid reason to doubt Badi Ammi. I also suspected Badi Ammi, not once but many times. However, I never found any concrete evidence or proof against her. I tried to discover who had conspired against Jodha. Who wrote that letter to Sujamal, her brother??? In that instance, my first suspected Badi Ammi. She is the one who receives all the messages first, but the letter handwriting didn't match with Badi Ammi's; someone else wrote that letter. It was odd how suddenly, all of the gatemen disappeared then died before anyone could get to them. Whoever did this conspiracy cleaned all the evidence very cleverly. In the middle of the night, Badi Ammi informed me about Jodha leaving the palace and how she poisoned my mind against Jodha and reacted too harshly. I have not forgotten that, but I can't blame Badi Ammi for such a big conspiracy without any substantial evidence.

I had also inquired about the night when I passed out; I didn't want you to worry about it, so I kept it to myself. I have mistrust not only Badi Ammi but Rukaiya as well. My first suspicion was on Rukaiya because she was the one who challenged you, but a few days later, when I asked her about the night. I realized she was also shocked about me passing out suddenly. She even called the healer to make sure I was well. I summoned the healer (Hakim) to inquire further as, why abruptly I passed out. The healer smelled a potent sleeping herb in my breath. The healer mentioned the same type of drug used when someone in extreme pain. When she disclosed, Vajire Aliya requested that drug the same day. I instantly went to Badi Ammi to inquire why she needed that medicine. Without flinching a bit, she took me to the dungeon and proved that she gave the drug to an injured prisoner who was beaten ruthlessly by Adham. She again proved innocent, but I still suspect her because she is no mercy for prisoners.

My mind has doubted her intentions serval incidents. Just because of her position and power ambitions, I know she has committed some unforgivable crimes. I had a strong suspicion about her when Khan baba got murdered. First, she played with my mind politically and created a massive rift between me and Behram Khan baba. I broke his heart and trust in me by pulling my sword against him. He instantly backed down and decided to walk out of my life even after I pleaded with him not to leave me. She indirectly slowly poisoned my mind by pointing out he was the one who was ruling the entire sultanate, and my young blood strived for freedom from him. I was played and manipulated, I didn't understand that time, but I can see what happened in the past. I knew there was a big conspiracy behind his death, but again no evidence and her love dominated me. To hide Adham's crimes and mistakes, she has played many games. I have ignored all of them. My mind always warned me of her witty and sometimes evil intentions. Even today, in Diwan E Khas, I saw her expression; she was upset and angry with the announcement. When I met her today, she completely changed her attitude. She can be a sweet & cruel person at the same time. I know very well, she hates Hindu people and specially Jodha. Though he was persistent in his trust for her, it got thinned given the situation.

Queen Jodha, I know you are not wrong, but my heart doesn't like anyone else condemning Badi Ammi. Deep down in my heart, I believe that she will not betray my trust, and she will never hurt me. She can manipulate me to gain more power, but I am sure her heart beats for me. She loves me more than her own son. Her sacrifices for me are much more valuable in my life than these doubts. She will always stand by me whenever I need her.

He always consoled his restless heart, dwell on that Badi Ammi loves him and will never betray him.

Jodha's Inner talk

Jodha was shocked by Jalal's behavior. She never thought Jalal would compare Hamida begum with Maham, and He loved Maham more. She realized that she has unintentionally hurt him deeply. She accused the person who he respects the most. Is my thinking about Maham wrong? Am I wrong? Why I always feel that she has evil intentions? Is it because she doesn't like me? Have I just built up the false image of her in my mind? Maybe Shahenshah is right; I shouldn't have accused her without factual proof.

Jalal's change of attitude towards Hamida & inner talk

While walking towards Diwan E, Khaas Jalal saw his mother, Mariam Makhani, Hamida Banu, sitting on the bench peacefully with closed eyes. He felt content seeing immense serenity on her face. Rays of the sun were making her appearance glorious. His feet stopped unconsciously, seeing her resting. He was astonished; he had never seen his Ammi Jaan easing like this. He has always seen her running around to finish different errands; her schedule and responsibilities were sometimes more prominent than his. She was not only active in political matters but also helped Rukaiya in the harem. After Jalal took over, Her highest priority was social work, serving Aawam. She was the first one who pointed out how young girls under fourteen were forcefully getting married to older men against their wishes. She firmly stood in Diwan E Khaas to build a law against this brutality towards little girls. She never mentioned, but herself got married at a very young age of twelve to a thirty-two-year man (Humayun). She never showed her loneliness and pain to anyone.

Jalal never appreciated her hard work directly, but he always knew she had devoted her life to this sultanate. He knew she worked till late nights and woke up early in the morning. He never saw her doing anything for her enjoyment. After seeing her resting in the afternoon, a little surprising smile smeared his face. He was standing there and gazing at his mother's angelic face and probably admiring her for the first time.

While watching her, he got lost in deep thoughts. He realized how slowly everything has changed since Jodha came into his life. Suddenly his views have changed, and now he can see everything so clearly. Hamida's unbreakable trust in Jodha was one reason Jalal was feeling much closer to her than ever before. Little by little, he was getting detached from Maham and coming closer to his Ammi Jaan. The realization came with a curbed desire. He thought, I always maintained a distance from my Ammi Jaan, but why is something pulling me towards her today? Since I was a child, I always felt Ammi Jaan doesn't love me. She ignored me, but I don't know when and why; I started comparing her with (Maham)Badi Ammi. Little by little, I closed my heart with bitterness towards Ammi Jana. It always hurt me; she picked her duty first, then her children; I always thought she was selfish, but lately, it feels what she did was right. My vision has changed now; my heart understands her sacrifice and her love. Everything is so crystal clear now. I can see that she is a selfless person who has sacrificed her motherhood and took hatred from her kids for their betterment. I still remember her helpless, vulnerable eyes when she went out for weeks, leaving us in the palace. She always juggled between her kids and her duty towards the sultanate. I have never given her the love and importance which she deserves.

Jalal reminisced her anxious and concerned face when he was injured. He recalled her cheerful face with tears with grateful expression in DWK earlier today when he made the announcement. He had never seen this much contentment on her face before. The way she was relaxing felt like she took a withdrawal from her duty. Suddenly he had an intense craving and desire for her motherly love. All at once, his curbed hunger blossomed for maternal warmth.

Innocently... Magnetically... his heart moved towards her. He walked by the bench very slowly. Once again, he smiled, seeing her angelic peaceful sleep. He hesitantly sat on the floor in front of her with his knees bent down. He couldn't suppress his strong desire. He gently kept his head on her lap like a little child and wrapped his hands on her legs.

Hamida opened her eyes with a little shock, and with a pleasant glee, she saw her son resting on her lap. Her heart started to beat profoundly fast, seeing and feeling this unforeseen, astonishing moment. At the same time, she held her breath to comprehend what was happening. It was an unexpected shock for her; blissful tears dribbled down from her cheeks. She couldn't understand how to react to this, how to act. She was feeling overwhelmed by his warmth.

Slowly, she kept her hand on his head and started to caress his hair for a minute. She was longing for this moment for ages. Her unsatisfied, dried motherhood feelings awoke after ages with hopes. She had never anticipated receiving love from her son. She never thought, not even in her dream, that he will come back to her one day like this. She knew that he had started to respect her, but she had no hope for love from him. She slowly lifted his face to see in his eyes. Both of them looked at each other with profound love. She found a ten-year-old lost son in his innocent eyes, who was longing for her mother for years. She could see regret and pain in his sad eyes; his piercing gaze gave a pinch in her heart. Her lonely life all of a sudden bloomed with love. All these years, she was alone and lonely, starving for his son's acceptance, approval. She lost her husband years ago, and responsibility took her kids away from her. After many years, she had accepted this was her destiny.

Finally, Jalal broke their silence, and with his thick emotional tone, he asked with care and love, "Ammi Jaan, Are you alright?

Hamida responded in an emotional tone, "I have never felt better. I am overwhelmed with joy. I am scared; I feel like soon I will wake up and come out of this beautiful dream, and I will be left with lonely hands. It is not easy to believe my son is resting in my lap. At last, God has shown his mercy on me; I still can't believe this."

Jalal responded in an emotional tone, "Ammi Jaan, Please forgive me. I wish I could've seen and understood what I understand today fifteen years back. Now it is so clearly visible to me, and I have realized the sacrifices you have made for us. I don't remember how, when, and why I became like a stone towards you, and slowly we got detached." Two drops of tears dribbled out from his eyes.

Seeing his son's remorse and tears, Hamida's curbed tears flood out candidly. She wiped his tears softly and said, "Jalal, Promise me you will never hate me again. You probably never realized, but I avoided to see in your eyes. Your hatred look poured acid on my heart. I have never said, but I am too lonely, my child. I craved for you every day, my son. Promise me you will never leave me alone" She held him from his shoulder, and he got up and sat on the bench next to her. She kissed his forehead. Jalal softly took his mother in his warmth and said, "Ammi Jaan, without your love, I felt incomplete and empty. I need you more than anything in the world." Both of them sat in the warmth of the sun for long in peaceful silence. They both were feeling content and complete.

A few minutes later, Jalal asked curiously, "Ammi Jaan, I have never seen this much calmness on your face... First time in years, I have seen you resting on the bench as if you have withdrawn from everything."

Hamida cheerfully grinned and replied, "You are right, my son. I felt like my goal has been achieved. You probably don't have any notion, today what you did in Diwan E Khaas gave me enormous happiness. I have seen many different shadows behind your decisions, but today for the first time, it was you and only you, Jalal, Today in a true sense, you have become Shahenshah E Hindustan. You have made me so proud; You have not only shocked me but the entire Hindustan with your generosity. You have acted like a father with what you have announced displayed your humanity towards Awwam for the first time. How strongly you stood and firmly gave a message to those against your announcement, it's commendable. Now no one will dare manipulate your mind. I am very proud of you, my son." Hearing praise from his mother, he cheered up and felt a little shy; with blush, he looked at her and crooned, "Thank you, Ammi Jaan."

After a few minutes, Jalal, with a courteous greeting, left to DWK. At the same time, Hamida watched him with full contentment.

Adham's anger

Adham, with extreme fury, entered in Maham's chamber. His blood was boiling. His eyes were turned red. After seeing his intense rage, Maham instructed Resham and other maids to leave her chamber.

Maham asked cautiously, "Adham, Calm down; you look too angry."

He busted at Maham, "How can I be fine? You ask me to calm down, even after seeing how Jalal insulted me in front of the entire court? How could I be okay? See what your beloved son has done to us; what did you achieve after working day and night and sacrificing your life for him? What I got is humiliation and What you have given me is nothing. You loved Jalal instead of me; he was always your priority. I will not spare him and his beloved Rajvanshi bitch. I will kill both of them brutally and rule on this sultanate. Now he will know who Adham is."

Maham's eyes got filled with tears. After hearing Adham's bitter words, she replied in a sad tone, "Adham, do you really think that I don't love you. What do you think? Why am I running behind Jalal? Just for you, so you get respect and a better position. Why do you think? Why I gave more importance to Jalal than you, just because he always bowed down in front of me. Adham, you are my son, and I love you more than my life."

Adham's anger pulped even more after seeing tears in Maham's eyes; he shouted rudely, "Stop your act in front of me. You can play all these manipulative games with your adorable son Jalal. I know you very well; you are the most selfish and disgusting woman I've ever known. I hate you more than I hate Jalal."

Maham lost all of her patience, busted loudly, "You are calling me selfish and dramatic. You think my tears are fake, then listen, my tears...the ones you are calling fake, saved your life today. I have worked so hard to achieve this position. I have tried to explain to you so many times one day; your anger will ruin everything. You are not a king, and unfortunately, you are brainless; you don't know when to talk and show your anger because of your stupidity today; you have nothing left. Your value in this sultanate is nothing, so don't shout at me. I am still Vajir E Aliya (chief minister). When you know, Jalal is crazy about that Rajvanshi even after that you said disgusting words about her in front of the entire court. How stupid of you? You are worse than Javeda."

Adham, with anger, got up from there and screamed, "Enough! Shut your filthy mouth. I am tired of your taunting. I will show you who I am? You will regret it soon. Now it's time for action..." He pushed her harshly and walked out of her chamber, fumingly.

Maham shivered to see his extreme rage. She watched him walking out of her chamber with teary eyes and murmured, 'Adham, I love you more than my life.'

Adham's conspiracy

Jalal was heartbroken seeing most of the Mughal administrators not in favor of his decision. Their silent retort, Jalal could visibly hear it. He could sense the outcome is going to be a big conspiracy against him. He was making a strategy to bring in new administrators; he could feel a few supporting Adham. He was sorting out some names in his mind to replace everyone who supported Adham. After the meeting, he knew he needed to clear-out, or the outcome would be dreadful. Jalal was deeply lost in thoughts while walking towards the weapons house to meet his security team when Abdul came running to him. Seeing his worried face, Jalal asked promptly, "Abdul, what happened ... why do you look so tense?"

With a solemn expression, he replied, "Shahenshah... The matter is very serious and dangerous. Our Secret agents have informed us that Adham is making a conspiracy to kill you, and as per his information, he is thinking about attacking you tonight. But what shocked me is he knows about your confidential scheduled information, that you have planned to visit some villages as a commoner and you are going to pass the river. At that time, he has planned to attack with his troop. You should cancel your visit tonight."

Jalal's eyes widened in anger; he sighed deeply and responded disappointedly, "I can't believe that Adham can stoop this low. I always treated him like my brother, but he doesn't deserve it. I have spared him many instances and forgiven his erroneous mistakes, but enough now, I will not show mercy to him this time." He gritted his teeth in anger; a Few seconds later, he asked Abdul, "How many people have information about my schedule?"

Abdul responded with a question, "Very few Shahenshah, Badi Ammi, Atgha Sahib, Shariffudin, and me. Did you inform anyone else about your plan tonight?"

"No, I haven't even told Queen Jodha yet. We just planned it out a little while ago, and he already got informed."

"Shahenshah ... Do you think Badi Ammi?" Abdul nervously asked.

"I don't know anything right now, but let's focus on the plan to catch him red-handed. First of all, I cannot trust anyone here at this time. It's possible, some of the soldiers and administrators may be involved in this conspiracy." After a pause, Jalal queried, "Abdul, I need to find out how many soldiers you can trust blindly. I need at least forty trustworthy soldiers."

Abdul confidently responded, "Shahenshah, I can manage that very easily."

Jalal instructed Abdul, "Listen carefully, Abdul. I will leave alone first and then send twenty soldiers behind me a few minutes. Make sure you send them very secretly; otherwise, Adham will change his plan. As far as my prediction, he will not attack me until I sit in the boat, so send someone else in my royal clothes, and I will hide there. I will wait for them to attack but ensure you assign a soldier in the boat who is an expert in swimming and wears all protective cover-up. When they attack the boat, we will attack them from behind, and I will catch Adham easily."

Abdul nodded his face with disagreement and replied with an argument, "Shahenshah, I think you are taking a big risk. If something happens to you, then the entire sultanate would be in danger. I am not against your strategy, but why don't you send me instead of you."

Jalal replied in a husky tone, "Abdul, I need to catch Adham red-handed. If this matter involved someone else, then I would have surely listened to your advice, but I will try to be careful."

After instructing Abdul, Jalal jumped on his horse and flew out of the palace towards the river. Abdul went to prepare the team of soldiers to be sent behind Jalal secretly after few minutes.