˜I tried really hard,˜

I promise. But one day I just woke up and I couldn't handle it ˜anymore- Unknown˜

True P.O.V

I glance at the pills sitting in the medicine cabinet, the urge to grab the pills and chug them all and never wake up again. I couldn't grab the pills, I couldn't force myself to grab those pills.

Something always held me back, and right now only two things did, Bryan and Kyle. Those were the only two things in my life even remotely worth living.

I close the medicine cabinet with a heavy sigh not wanting to close it and simply die here and now and not have to deal with my lives bullshit.

I look at myself in the mirror finding myself slightly disgusted with what I see. I had dead looking pale skin, ugly green eyes, and bleachy looking blonde hair that legit doesn't look natural but somehow it is. This is why I don't like looking at myself in the mirror when it isn't necessary. This wasn't necessary, it was almost never necessary.

I look away from the mirror, a look of disgust plastered on my face because I hated looking at myself. It probably started when the bullying got really bad when the bullying went past just being words spoke. When the bullying got past that and into the abuse area and portion of bullying.

That is where my insecurity started. The bullying, the abuse at home, and everything else in my life combined.

"Hurry up!" A loud banging noise on the bathroom door startled me out of my self-disgust train of thought and turned towards the door where Chris was banging at me loudly. "I'm not going to be late because of your pathetic ass!!"

Subtle brother, really.

I legit can feel the love.

I turn towards the door and walk towards it with my shoulders slumped, as I was already having a bad day and the day has just begun.

I open the door and walk out, but not without a nice loving, hard shove from my only older sibling. If I had been shoved any harder I would have fallen but thank god I managed to catch myself.

I gave Chris a slight frown and I knew my eyes were revealing more than they should, before I dropped my gaze and walked back to my room, no longer wanting to be in his presence any longer than I have to and that time limit is going on longer than I would usually allow. In return, Chris removes himself from my presence by entering the bathroom.

Downstairs I could hear faint singing of my mom and Madisyn, both of which could work on there singing. I used to do that with mom. I hadn't been that old but I remembered it. Me and mom, together, singing songs that played during the television movies that mom loved.

I missed those days, the days before I turned five, the days I actually felt like I actually belonged in this family, and the days before my bullying started, before Union and everyone else came along and ruined everything. At that age, the twins had been maybe approaching a year old, probably slightly younger than that.

I wish those days were still around but I know they aren't. Those days are long gone. Those days will more than likely never be seen again. My family is never going to change, why would they? They have no reason to want to change themselves, their happy with how things are currently going, and I? No absolutely not, I'd love to be considered anything other than a mistake but I've grown used to it, I mean who doesn't? Over time everything begins to blur together and that's what's currently happening to me, once you reply the same things over and over again you slowly become numb to it all, but it still rips the wound open a little more regardless of the fact you can't feel it anymore.

I walk into my small bedroom, seeing my backpack lying next to the door exactly where I left it before. I liked having my room perfectly clean as it was already a small room, nothing seemed out of place to me so I grabbed the backpack, and slung it over one of my shoulders, I never wear it on both because it's easier to yank someone when you have both straps on both shoulders.

I glance once more around my room, the odd feeling that something was out of place that I should be seeing something that wasn't where it was meant to be. I didn't see it, so I thought I was just being cautious and slightly anxious about my parents or siblings coming in here and taking something.

I sighed when I realized I was simply being too paranoid. I simply shake my head, tightening my hand grip on the backpack string, before turning around and walking out of my room and closing the door behind me, making sure the door is closed successfully behind me, not wanting anyone to be inside my room.

I walked slowly down the stairs, hearing for my other family members, hearing mom and Madisyn still talking in the kitchen. I didn't know where Michael was, as he was one of my quietest siblings and Michael being Michael he probably had his headphones on and blaring who knows what into his skull potentially killing his eardrums and a chance at becoming deaf.

Bryan was probably still in his room, mom was probably going to take him to school, it was Wednesday, I didn't take him to school on Wednesdays or generally at all but I do take him on some occasions when I deem it necessary, like mom's forgotten, he's going to be late, etc. Just proves that I'm a good big brother. I would take him today, but I don't feel like it and he has such a bright bubbly personality that it literally burns my skin. He's like the sun and I'm a vampire, it's deadly to me.

I pass by the hallway that leads to the main door and sees dad's office door closed and a light coming from inside. I knew dad was inside that office, doing who knows what inside, probably something that had to do with his job, aka the mafia.

I hurried past the kitchen door, hearing mom and Madisyn laughing together. That was what I once had and know it was taken from me and given to my younger siblings, especially Madisyn, who was the next born after me. It hurts to know I've been replaced for the next model but I understand. Madisyn is better than me in almost every way. She may not have the blonde hair or green eyes, but she looks a whole hell a lot like mom, though I had the same hair, eyes, generally, the same facial situation but yeah, Madisyn was better than me, and she probably would always be.

I opened the front door and closed it quietly behind me, a sigh escaping my lips as I hurried out of the house and towards the right side of the large mansion I just so happen to call home. I hurried to the side where a bush was, and it was what kept my motorcycle hidden from the all-seeing people of my greedy family. I pulled my bike out of the bush and pushed it slightly hoping on, and starting the bike before driving off towards the one place I despised.

School.

I slowly watched as trees went by and saw the same buildings I see every single day, it still doesn't get old, these trees, these houses, the buses that drive by picking up kids to take them to the same place I'm currently going.

I would never get old of this because the trees, because of the kids that get on the bus, because of the noises and people I see every day on this trip to school, these few things may mean absolutely nothing to the majority of people, these things mean almost everything to me.

They make me feel alive.

I continue to drive towards the school and when I see the hellhole in the distance. I heard chatter the closer I got until I was right across from the school. I never parked where the other kids did because it would lead them to where my bike was, and if they found my bike they'd destroy it.

I parked across the street of the school at the small cafe that allowed me to park my bike there, but I used a fake excuse on why though, I didn't want someone knowing why I absolutely hated parking at school.

I get off my bike, get the chain out of my backpack and lock it to the bike rack. I made sure I knew the combination before I ever even used the lock so I knew it would keep my bike protected.

I cross the road when I was sure the road was clear, and hurried towards the main doors, not wanting to be around the people who absolutely hated me. I could hear my name occasionally whispered, and I knew none of them were good things. Everyone inside this school absolutely hated me. I mean it isn't hard to hate me, I hate myself.

I hurried down the school hallway, glancing up every other second trying to keep an eye out for my bullies.

I was almost completely sure that I had passed all my bullies, I go straight to my locker and open it before opening my backpack and was going to get ready for school when a large hand slammed against the locker next to my head. Oh shit.

I turned my head towards whoever had the hands that were currently slammed on the locker, and I automatically knew who it was before I even saw their face. Union fucking Graves.

This was something that happened a lot. It wasn't new. And nobody ever seemed to care. They'd all ignore it and watch it all happen instead of helping because why help what you hate? They hate me, they'd rather me be dead but if they couldn't have me killed they go for seeing me being punched and kicked and physically harmed forever.

At this point, those who'd even consider helping me have given up. They've all grown so used to this situation, this game like thing Union continued to do that everyone knew, well everyone but Chris. Chris may not be the best brother but if he knew, Union would be dead on a kill order directly from my dad's branch of the mafia, no hesitation. Dad may hate me, but he loves Chris.

And that's something I'm not jealous of.

The hand re-slams against the locker, and turn completely around and face Union, who had a smirk on his face. Oh, how I hate this man.

"Lookie lookie, the pitiful little waste of space is all alone," He trailed off, his other hand pinning mine to the locker. "Like fucking always," Union said as the bell went off overhead. I was actually kind of confused, usually, he'd have punched me or harmed me by now but he hasn't.

I personally hoped he'd get it over with because I was already used to the pain I generally felt when I was punched or harmed. I was thankful for the fact that I knew the nurse personally well. It was probably because I visited her a lot more often than a majority of my other peers. Then again, a majority of my other peers don't have lifetime bullies that continuously harass you.

So yeah, you get used to having to visit the nurse, especially if you are me. I kind of got used to it. Everyone shuttered out of the hallway and into the classrooms and yet Union continued to pin me against the wall, breathing on my face, making me feel even more anxious than before. Why wasn't he hurting me, I mean besides the painful grip he has on my hands, he isn't exactly harming me.

It was bothering me, I mean I don't want him to hurt me, but why isn't he? Is he broken?

Union leaned in slightly making me want to lean further into the cold metal behind me.

"Now that were alone . . . " Union trailed off, his eyes narrowing on me with a glint that I simply didn't like. I was about to snap at him when he pushes his whole body up against mine, making all the nerves in my body spike and a deadly, breathtaking fear setting in.

My eyes widened. I noticed that Union didn't have his friends with him and usually those guys were like lost puppies following their owner, via Union, it was odd that he didn't have his little trail behind him.

I was continuing to ponder why his friends weren't here when I felt something that made my heart freeze.

His bulge.

Why the world does he have a bulge??

Wh-

Union slammed his lips on mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth with my gasp, which made me want to wash my mouth out with bleach . . . and then swallow the bleach because that's the only thing that ever makes sense.

"What the fuck are you doing?!?!?" A familiar voice that I know so well yelled at us. "Let fucking go of him!" My best friend Kyle yelled at us which made Union release himself from his forceful kiss, and scowled at Kyle who looked like he was about to shoot steam out of his ears before turning to me and giving me an evil grin, which I considered to be more of a smirk. He releases me and turned and left and just like that Union was gone, and I, as stupid as it sounds, was fucking frozen in place.

It wasn't that the kiss made me believe Union was my long lost lifetime mate. The exact opposite really, it made me want to kill myself even more than before. The disgust was so strong that I wanted to vomit up anything, if anything, that I had eaten within the last 24 hours.

"True?" Kyle said rushing to me, wanting to make sure I was okay, being that kind of a best friend.

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked when I didn't answer. "What happened?" He asked when I didn't answer again.

"H-he . . ." I tried to say it but it made me so disgusted that the words simply wouldn't come out. Kyle sighed but excepted it. Kyle was slightly overprotective as I was a little younger and he felt the need to be responsible.

With the sigh, Kyle helps me get my stuff up and we walk away from my locker, which was now closed and heads to hell.

Wait, I mean Science.

My bad.