Kyle P.O.V

The only reason I got out of my bed was because Karin said we were going to the hospital, and the only reason we'd go to the hospital would be to see True, which is exactly what we were going to do. Which is exactly why we were walking towards the car, and the only reason I am out of my bed or not on the couch, which is where I have generally resided on the past few days.

I couldn't actually understand why he tried to kill himself. It didn't make any sense to me, but that was probably because I didn't completely know what was going on in his life, I knew alot, but I didn't know everything, I'd probably never know everything but if True did tell me, I'd never tell another soul. I couldn't think about his suicide very long without bursting into tears which is why I snapped my attention out of the attempted suicide and turned it to climbing into Karin's car.

Karin got into the front seat and Nika got into the back, Nika humming a unknown tone under her breath. I close the door behind me, with a soft click in return. Nika closed her door behind her and buckled up.

I actually had two phones, my original one, the one I had before I started dating Luke, and before he got me the newer expensive one. I had my older one on me and this one was un-trackable thanks to via True. I had this back-up one in case I got mad at Luke and had to leave my new phone, regardless, Luke had this phone's number and he's been using the number.

Bing.

Bing.

I knew it was Luke, but I was ignoring it as I was still mad at him. The asshole. The only reason he started texting this morning was probably because he realized he couldn't find me and that I wasn't coming home anytime soon.

The only way Luke could find me is if he came to the hospital but he'd have to be very, very stupid to do that, and thank god I knew he couldn't stoop that low.

He was stubborn though, I was stubborn too, which is probably why we worked so well together.

Yeah, worked, past tense. He didn't tell me my bestfriend attempted suicide when he knew full fucking well ahead of time and then he lets me find out from the damn people who runned the worst place on Earth with people who has wish death upon me. I hated that, I hated how he let me find out with them. With the people who wanted me and Claire to try and kill ourselves as well. In the end my peers were fucking crazy but that wasn't something new in my opinion.

I lean back into the seat, sighing as I looked out the window, seeing snow fall faintly outside. This could have been a good beautiful day but all this did was remind me of how much True loved snowy weather and how he'd wait to go out and sit in the snow simply because he loved it that much.

In a moments notice I had a grave sense of deja vu taking me over.

Karin was driving the car, snorting at whatever the radio comedian said, making us burst into laughter. True was laughing as well, but quieter and more calmer than necessary. He obviously didn't want us to laugh at the most likely stupid joke that the comedian had said.

I was sipping on the milkshake Karin had just got is, a smile trapped on my face. We were all laughing with each other, giggling at whatever the comedian said, regardless of whether the joke was funny or not, we were set on having fun, getting away from the shittier part of life. We drove around the city a couple times which took over a set of hours but we didn't even realize how much time has passed until the time was gone and at that point we had had to much fun to care about the loss of hours as the hours hadn't been a waste, they hadn't been wasted at all.

By the time we dropped True off, a smile had been locked onto my face, I had had so much fun that I was content with how shitty life truly is. I fell asleep in the car before Karin could even take me back to Luke, giggle escaping Karin as she ended up taking me to her house, a smile locked on my unconscious face.

I don't think I ever really realized it before but thinking back now, True's smile had been so . . . fake. It hadn't been real, it had been broken. He'd already been falling apart and I had been to stupid to notice. What kind of friend am I? The worst kind is what I was thinking. How couldn't I notice that my bestfriend was going to kill himself and how couldn't I see that he needed to be helped? I had been fucking blinded by how nice my life had became that I had overlooked all the signs. I'm such a awful friend.

It makes me think that he hadn't been truly happy that day, he hadn't been happy for a long while. I wanted him to be happy, had thought he was happy, but clearly I was blind, I was so stupid to not see how True had been reaching out to me, reaching out in hope for someone to notice and when no one did, he gave up. He stopped caring for someone to help him, he didn't want someone to save him anymore, he just wanted to fall and never get back up. He'd been hiding his true feelings trapped inside for so long, how long Kyle didn't know but he knew True when he was younger and he could see the difference between then and now. True had never been really happy, not since he was extremely young, not since his family began to be cold and evil towards him.

Karin looks over at me, concern crossing her face before she turned away and went back to focusing on the road, her hands wrapping around the stearing wheel tighter than before, her hands turning pale white as she gripped the wheel as tight as Kyle thought she could. She was concerned about me, I could see that much, but she was one of those people who didn't push when they didn't need to or when they thought it wasn't necessary. At this moment it was necessary to pressure me in her eyes. Karin just happened to be that way but I loved it, she knew me, probably better than I knew myself.

Karin knew that I didn't want to be bothered by anything unless it was True and when I got to that hospital it would be pretty difficult to get me back out.

Visiting True made me wonder how exactly his family was taking him trying to kill himself. Were they upset? Were they hopping he'd die in the middle of the night? Were they crying? I couldn't tell you, they have been so mean and evil to True that I wouldn't put anything past True's family, I know for sure that one of his family members are hurt by what True did. Bryan. It probably scarred that boy, I knew for a fact that it would probably be on that boys mind for a long while.

I know that I would be so hurt if something happened to Karin or Nika, they are the only family that I loved or considered worthy of loving. My mom wasn't a good person and a shitty mother, chosing drugs over her own children, and in the end, ending up in a rehab program and after that she'd probably end up in prison for a while for even possessing drugs.

Maybe that was why I was so hesitant to start dating Luke, since he was in the mafia and I didn't want to drag my family into that dangerous world. My family was too innocent to be able to survive in this part of my life, in the darker side of things. The darker side of New York. I refused to lose them because I wanted to pursue love. I would never be able to forgive myself if me pursueing love ended up killing one of my family members. I would never be able to face anyone ever again. I would leave the mafia because I couldn't risk them for my happiness. And yet I still took the damn risk and fell in love and regardless of everything that's happened I'd still take the same risks all over again. Love does that to you.

Because not all of it was about the sex, though the sex was nice, I hadn't feel in love with Luke solely for the sex, I fell for his charm, his good looks, his smile, his dorkiness that hardly anyone saw, it was those things that made me fall for him. I had fallen in love, and you can't fall in love without feeling guilty or broken when it slowly falls apart.

When music burst from the speakers I jumped, I turned around and saw that it had in fact been Karin who turned it on but what bothered me is that it was playing Major Lazer and JB. I couldn't stand this song. Nika however loved it, instantly singing along with the catchy lyrics and I could only stand it for about thirty seconds before my hand shot out and shut the damn thing off. Nika instantly began to whine but a glare from Karin shut her up real quick and I saw Nika dig in her pocket for earbuds to most likely listen to the damn song. I turned to stare out the window and began to watch the big buildings slowly pass by, as excitement slowly filled me, I was going to see True and that was practically the only thing running through my head through the finally couple minutes of the drive. The closer we got to the hospital, the more excited I felt to see my bestfriend. Karin looked over at me a grin slowly spreading on her face at my excitement.

Karin actually had all of True's medical papers which she was going to deliver to the hospital, since she knew that Mrs. Night had none of True's medical papers, she was such a awful mother. Karin had seven years worth of papers and it was a thick fucking blinder filled with paper after paper about True's medical history. Nika being a pre-teen pulled out her phone and was quickly distracted by Sims 3 on her phone which she's had for less than a month, she just got one. Her phone slowly began to bing and a look of annoyance crossed my face before I sighed and slowly began to ignore the noise as excitement took over the anger at the noise. Then it was my phone as it began to vibrate and Karin shot me and knowing look we both knew who it was and I didn't feel like answering the phone. But curiousity got the best of me, and I grabbed my phone and looked at the texts, I was right it was Luke, he was begging for forgiveness yet again, he was also asking how I blocked my phone from being tracked. Luke looked concerned through the texts but I knew if I went back Luke would lock me inside that large mansion and never let me out. I closed my phone and looked up just in time to see Karin pulling up to the hospital and there large parking area and she got to park in a employee spot as she was a doctor and she was connected to the hospital. The excitement explodes in my chest as I jump out of the car as quickly as I can. I walk towards the main door a fast as I can while Nika stayed near Karin, our childhood had really scarred her and made her generally afraid of most things, call it trauma. She generally only remembers the bad things but it wasn't like I forgot them either, she treats me and Karin like we wouldn't understand but we understand more than she does, we had to live it much longer. We walked towards the elevator and once we were all in it we went to the correct floor, according to Karin and we walked out of the elevator I was instantly hit with the smell of bleach and death, it smelt like a hospital should. Sitting in this floors waiting area was the Night family, excluding True and the father.

Christin and Mrs. Night were talking to a doctor and I couldn't help but want to easedrop. I saw the youngest, Bryan trying to do the same as he was leaning in very slowly trying to get a hint of the conversation. The twins were sitting next to each other Madisyn was on her phone her eyes rimmed with red and Michael was asleep in the weirdest position, I swear he was seconds from falling.

Once we were close enough Chris noticed us, his eyebrows just rose in confusion but it obvious he was exhasted and tired of this situation and wanted to sleep in something other than the shitting chairs. Jenna didn't even give us a second glance as she continued to agrue with the doctor. The doctor was pressuring Jenna on how she didn't have one of her childrens papers, especially when she had all her other childrens papers. Karin deciding to save the woman pulled out the thick folder and handed it to the doctor who obviously looked shocked along with Jenna and Chris. Karin began to converse with the doctor who was looking at Karin with nothing but respect. I could see Chris staring at the binder in shock knowing that it meant True had been hurt alot.

"Can I see him?" I asked quietly but Chris heard me, his head popping up before he nodded.

"Sure but he's still unconscious." Chris said and started walking down the hallway, I didn't care that he wasn't conscious. I just wanted to see him.

Unconscious or not.