True P.O.V

I walked home lost in thought. The dance didn't start for another couple hours, though some kids decided to stay after school, though most of them were on the planning committee and had to help set up the gym for the dance, and it was moments like this I was glad I didn't do shit in this school.

I walked looking down at my feet, my thoughts on what Union might do.

Some of them were like publicly embarrassing me like stripping me and tapping me to a locker, that would be awful but there were other things that flurried through my brain, worse things. I should probably hope for the better, something in the pit of my stomach was just telling me it wouldn't end well. Especially for me.

I kick a rock at my feet, all my anger going against the rock. A quiet thought in the back of my head, what did that rock ever do to you? The rock skipped into the street before the motion stopped and the rock sat, in the middle of the empty street.

I sighed, feeling like the rock momentarily, then I scuffed not liking that I was comparing myself to a rock.

That was just ignorant.

I walked up to my house, yes, walked, I left my bike at school. I didn't feel like driving and I needed time to clear my head. I had to plan and prepare for the worst.

I needed to keep my phone audio recorder on all night during the dance, I rather have proof of everything on audio just in case something bad happened, I'd need it on audio. Or use it as blackmail, it depended on what Union was going to do.

During lunch, I found out Kyle was going to the dance, simply because Luke had wanted him to. I knew my brother was going, is one of the kings of the school, he simply had to attend. But I knew he was going to find a girl to bang tonight. I simply knew my brother that well.

Not that he knew that I knew that. If you catch my drift.

I stumbled towards the back door, not wanting to walk in through the front door, not sure who was home or not, though I was very sure most of my younger siblings were.

I walk past the garden gate, which was painted a clear white color at least once a month by our gardeners. I don't talk to the gardeners, they don't want to talk to me so I don't want to talk to them either.

I close the gate behind me, a sigh leaving my lips. Damn . . . I sigh a lot.

I walk past bushes and flowers surrounded by red mulch. I see trees that had been very well trimmed. I don't remember there ever being a leaf on the lawn, I don't think my parents allow it.

Control freaks . . .

I walk into my house being as cautious as ever. I hear Madisyn upstairs with some of her friends talking loudly with Taylor Swift playing in the background. I walk into the kitchen and was surprised to see Michael sitting at the counter, with his headphones in his ears listening to Spotify, I could see his phone screen. I walk past him, him not looking up.

I walk towards the stairs passing the living room, seeing Chris watching the large 80" inch television that had high-definition. I shake my head before walking up the stairs quietly.

I pass Bryan's room, hearing him and mom.

"I know Bryan, let me get the hat." Mom said inside Bryan's room obviously getting him ready for trick-or-treating. I knew mom would be taking him but what Bryan didn't know is that guards would be following them, protecting them both at all costs. I didn't have guards, that showed that my father simply didn't love me enough to have someone protect me.

I walk past Bryan and Madisyn's room and walk into mine, closing the door quietly behind me.

I walk over to my closet, dressing myself up for the dance, I wasn't going to go crazy for a Halloween outfit.

I was going to go as a shadow, all black, simply outfit except I would put skin paint on my hands making them look smoky, and add eyeliner around my eyes.

I grab the black clothes, before walking into the bathroom, which was empty, surprisingly.

I close and lock the door behind me, I didn't want one of my siblings to walk in on me changing. I look at myself in the mirror before taking my shirt off and looking at my bruises surprised to see them mostly faded, which made me feel a little better about myself.

I smile for a slight moment but then stopped grabbing my black long sleeved shirt. It had buttons along the middle giving me a classy look. I pull my jeans off and slip on the black skinny jeans, which wrapped around me in all the right places.

I smile at myself in the mirror, thinking how fake that smile is.

I grab my Halloween kit, which looked like a make-up bag, it was.

I unzip the bag and grab the bottle of black paint, which always looked smoky. I grabbed the sponge that would give me the look I wanted. I pour some of the paint onto my sponge, before putting it on my skin. After a couple minutes, it looked like I had dusted my hands in ash, perfect.

I grabbed my eyeliner, and applying it carefully. Once I finished that I looked at myself overall in the mirror.

I approve.

I nod my head before unlocking the bathroom door and walking out. I walk back into my room and glancing at the clock, before sighing, now was as good a time as ever to leave.

I turn the lights off and walk out the room, disappointed in myself. I walk down the stairs already seeing the sun begin to go down and pumpkins carved by families and children with tiny candles lit inside.

I walk out the back-door seeing that most of my family was in the kitchen or living room.

Walking past and out the back-door I heard Michael start talking to mom, "Mom can I have 20 bucks?" I laugh on the inside, that was one of the few times Michael actually talks, to ask for money.

I walk out the back-door none of my family members look up, or even care I left, I think they knew it was me, not even bothering to care.

I walk out of the garden the same way I came in an hour ago.

I see children walking with their parents walking up door to door for Halloween candy, I see mom walking out the front door with Bryan both smiling wide. I never got to do this, trick-or-treating. Mom would never take me and I knew Chris wouldn't he was usually to busy to realize his younger brother never went trick-or-treating before.

It's kinda sad.

No, it's really sad. Everyone I know has gone at least once, and most of them, especially the older ones would rather play video-games in their rooms than trick-or-treating, something I wish I had the ability to say I've done it without lying through my teeth. How sad . . .

I walk onto the sidewalk passing families and pre-teen's who've been allowed outside without parental supervision, I see groups of teens or a couple. I know Kyle's done this, with Karin, and Nika, you'd think upon looking at my large family I would have done it too, too bad I haven't. The last year I tried to go, my dad had locked me in the dreadful basement.

I walk quietly my phone in my pocket, the voice recorder already turned on and recording everything. It was simply for safety reasons.

I pass some people I've seen at school, I even saw Nika, she was with her group of friends, a group of nerdy girls, her best friends. She didn't see me which I was thankful for, that girl paid to much attention when I was around, she knew about my abuse, and I knew she was a secret cutter, not at a suicidal point but she has it in her head that it's her fault her, Karin's, and Kyle's mother left them. I'm the only one that knows this though, and I promised to keep it a secret. I keep promises. Well, most of them, I promised Kyle I'd stick around, not kill myself, but the longer I was alive, the more I felt like the world wants me gone.

I see the school come into view, the gym windows having neon colors blaring out, high school students filling into the school gym.

You see, they're only letting high school students in, so you have to have a school id, I have mine, it's on my phone, yes the id's are digital, in fact, most of them are.

I walk towards the mass of children, I pull my phone out and show one of the people, a nice girl in my 5th period named Mandy. She ushered me in with a smile on her face.

I walk into a crowded gym, with no teacher supervision, my peers were grinding against each other and drinking, I could smell the alcohol from here. Red solo cups in teen's hands, it seemed like a blast, for most people. Some of the people obviously had to much to drink because they were doing things they wouldn't do sober, I saw a girl in the corner of my sight, taking her dress off and showing everyone her underwear and bra. Her boyfriend seemed to love it, pervert. To think this was okay, someone should call her parents to take her home or something.

I walk further into the gym, near the back and the doors that lead into the actual school. Then I saw Kyle, who was dancing with Luke, Kyle was smiling and so was Luke, but it wasn't an evil smile, it was a smile full of love. Kyle saw me and attempted to wave me over but I shook my head and smiled at him, telling him to keep dancing, that he should enjoy his night. He seemed to understand the message I sent with my eyes because he turned back to Luke, and they began to make out with each other.

I knew Kyle was most definitely drunk, even if he wasn't drunk, he was most definitely not sober.

I was swaying my hips slightly to the song All Night.

"I've been up all night, no sleep, cause I feel like I'm always dreamin"

"Wide awake, that's okay as long as I'm with you."

I feel at peace for a moment. That moment didn't last very long.

An arm wrapped around my waist, causing my swaying to the music to halt and for me to jump at the contact and try to get out of whoever's reach.

Another hand slam's against my mouth, my eye's feel like bulging out of their sockets.

"Stop struggling." A familiar voice whispers into my ear halting my movement. Union. Oh, god . . .

He begins to pull me away from the crowd, all a while I'm looking out into the crowd hoping somebody anybody would look over and see this, looking for Chris, Kyle, even Claire. I see Chris' back to me flirting with a pretty girl, Kyle and Luke flirting, Claire sitting on the floor talking to a girl, not even looking in this direction.

He drags me to the doors that lead into the school and no one gave us a second look, everyone too drunk to see me being dragged away by Union. He pushes the doors into the school open with his back, dragging me along with him. Each step causes me more and more panic. The song Not Easy was becoming more and more distant as Union dragged me somewhere in the school.

He eventually stopped walking taking his hand off my mouth to open a door.

˜

I climbed off the couch, my back instantly resisting the motion but managed to get over to my stuff. I pulled on my skinny jeans grabbing my phone and unlocking it, wripping the tears with my fist.

I look down at the texts, a unfamiliar anger filled me. How could he be drunk, probably happy at home, while I had just been used. My own brother had been flirting with a girl while I was being dragged off!

If my father cared about me like he did my siblings I'd have guards watching over me! If I had guards this wouldn't have had happened.

I stamped the anger down. How could they have known? Every single one of them had their own lives to live, to busy to care about mine.

And that was fine. I wouldn't be around that much longer anyway.

I pulled my underwear back on, my body aching from the motion but still did it. I somehow managed to pull my skinny jeans on. I grabbed my phone to check the time, 12:11 a.m. so the dance would still be going on.

I put my phone in my pocket, slipping on my combat boots, that I don't remember Union taking off. I walk towards the door, myself shaking ever so slightly.

I slip out of the lounge, never wanting to step foot into the room ever again. I felt disgusted, I am disgusted.

I walk out the main doors not wanting anyone from school to see me.

The street lights were on, but teen's occasionally walked, more like stumbled out the gym doors, some in pairs, most giggling from whatever they drank.

I turned and began walking home, not feeling like driving my bike, not feeling like doing anything at all.

Each step was forced, my body felt like slowing down, like giving up. To simply stop.

I walked in a haze, my mind not really there, but not completely gone either.

Then my house came into sight, the large place it was. I walked slowly, trying to keep my breathing even and stop my shiver, and shaking. It worked a little. I had somehow managed to stop crying but I knew the tears would come back.

I walked around the back of the house and in through the back door, closing the gate as always behind me. I walk through the back-door and into the living room, seeing my brother making out with the girl from earlier. The tears sprang back into my eyes and I ran up the stairs knowing Chris was to catch up in the thought of sex with the blonde bitch to notice me. No one ever notices me.

I rushed into my room, closing the door behind me, collapsing onto my bed, crying silently, holding back sobs and tears.