《If It Never Happened ⚣》Chapter 35: November 11th 2016
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True P.O.V
I sat down on my bed, sighing, glad the day was finally over, I couldn't take much more of school. I didn't sit with Kyle at lunch because he was sitting with Luke, and I didn't like sitting at that table with him, especially when Luke has mafia members at his table, I swear I've beat one of them up before, and I don't want to recharge his memories but sitting with him.
Nope, no thank you.
I had gone to school with Ian, to save me from walking, but we arrived early so no one knew I came to school with him. I smiled, pulling my side bag around and pulled my computer out, and open FaceTime and look at my contacts seeing who was on and saw who I wanted.
Kiena.
Kiena is one of my private friends who no one knows about and she likes it that way. She was once in the situation I was in, but she got out. Both her birth parents had been abusive and she was young, like under eleven for most of the abuse, someone finally contacted the police and they had put Kiena into the foster system, she eventually got adopted and brought to America, she was originally born in England, but her foster parents lived here in New York.
But things still went bad, her foster parents got in a car crash, it killed her foster father and her foster mom is currently in a coma, and Kiena visits her every single day. Kiena still lived in the house, since she was 16, and the government simply didn't want to put her back in the system if she'd be out in a couple months.
Because her foster parents were rich she didn't have to worry about money, her foster parents owned some big company but they had people to run it for them, and still made a ton of money, millions, like my family, except my family didn't own a company, and they weren't in a coma.
Sadly, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my father was in a coma, how would my family react? To me, it wouldn't do shit, but I know it would break this already fragile family into two. My younger siblings would be heartbroken and Chris would take over dad's current . . . career and mom, oh mom would snap. That or she'd find some way to blame dad's death on me.
But back to Kiena, I click on her name and the ring noise pops up and I make sure my camera is clean by rubbing my thumb on it, I am not one to believe the government watches us throughout computer cameras, that would take a lot of hacking and honestly most people don't have anything to hide, so they shouldn't be suspicious of the government watching them.
Why would they look at me? I mean I'm as innocent as they come.
Kiena's face popped onto my computer, her black hair curling into a blue. Her light blue eyes with a dash of grey are her sparkling eyes.
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"Hey!" She said giving me a small wave, she was in a hospital room, her step-mothers hospital room, and she was sitting on the floor, in front of the bed, smiling sadly, she was happy to see me, but she was sad her foster mother was still in a coma.
I smiled back at her, a fake smile on my face as well, because we both knew, we both understood what this life was like, it was torturous, it was regretful, it made you want to just end it all, and I have pondered what would happen if I said fuck this, and kill myself. But regardless, I fight to stay here, though I don't know why, it's not really worth it, I continue and continue see that waiting, and wait as I may, it simply isn't getting better.
It never will.
I pull my legs into my chest, and rest my chin on my left leg, wishing I wasn't in this small room, that I was with my family, who was currently out for dinner, probably laughing with each other, enjoying each others company. I could kill myself right now, and they most certainly wouldn't care, it would be simple, not a soul would give a fuck because that's simply how it worked.
I would be forgotten in an instant, and no one would care, or even bother to care, it would be almost peaceful, I probably wouldn't have a funeral, which would be nice, I rather be forgotten than remembered as something bad that shouldn't have existed in the beginning.
"What going on in your life?" I ask the computer, knowing Kiena heard me. She smiled at me. She was a year older but she was like a girl version of me without the mafia involved, and her abuse was mostly over, the only thing ruining her life now was the fact her foster mom was unconscious in a hospital bed.
All Kiena wanted was her foster mom to wake up, so she could have a family again, and all I wanted was my family to act like a family with me.
But we all know that isn't going to happen.
"Well, a boy asked me out yesterday." She said, catching my attention instantly and I looked over to her instantly, cautious for her, knowing she'd let someone in really easy to fill the hole inside her that wants some company, and it will bite her back before she knew it. She'd be hurt, again, and she'd do it over and over again. It would become a never-ending cycle because the person she'd date would make her think she was useless without him, and she'd always come running back, and it would hurt her because she'd be trapped in between a rock and a hard place.
"Kiena-" I started but she cut me off. She had a knowing smile on her face.
"I know what your thinking Truth, it's okay, I trust him, he's one of my friends, you remember George?" She asked and I had to think about it, yes I remember her talking about a boy named George, she had liked him for a while. She said he had brown hair and dashing hazel eyes. But those are her words, not mine.
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"I think I remember George, brown hair, hazel eyes?" I ask and she nods, a loving smile appearing on her face, oh lord she's smitten, but if he does treat her right, it will be a big step for her, to show her not everyone is evil, that not everyone will hurt her like her parents.
"Yeah, that's George, but trust me Truth, he isn't going to hurt me like . . . they did." She shuttered thinking about her family. I was pitying her, and I shouldn't be, especially since I was living her old life, I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of abuse and pain, and mostly self-hate.
That's simply how my life is, and I don't see it getting any better any time soon.
"So what's going on with you?" Kiena asked looking interested, so I sigh.
"Something bad happened," I state and her face turns to one of concern, she knew how bad this abuse can go, she was raped by her birth father when she was ten, so she'd understand, and she wouldn't tell anyone either, she understands how this goes, how you can't tell anyone because it could get worse.
"What happened?" Her voice dripping with concern, I saw a slight haze over her eyes of fear, she was hoping it wasn't what she was thinking, hoping I hadn't gone through what she had. I now understood what she meant when she said it made you feel worthless, disgusted, alone.
"You remember my bully Union?" I ask, deciding I'd trust her with what happened, I trusted her more than I trusted someone else, like my family, I mean, I trusted Kyle but I knew he'd try to get me to get help, Kiena, Kiena would not, she'd respect that I didn't want anybody to know, why would I admit to them that I had been raped and used by someone who beat me up and no one knew that I had been raped, and I rather them not know, I didn't want anyone to know. That and Union would beat my ass if he found out I told someone.
"Well, he-"
"TRUE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!!!" My father's voice cut me off, and fear instantly coated my features. I looked back down at my computer.
"I gotta go," I say in a rush, and canceled our call before she had a chance to say goodbye.
I shut my laptop and shoved it into my bag and shoved my bag under my bed, hiding it. I needed to protect my computer, and I couldn't let them know I had one.
I rush up and out of my room, seeing Michael's head popping out of his room, concern etched onto his sweet face, I simply give him a faint smile, his eyes started to water slightly, before he darted back into his room, closing the door quietly behind him. I wonder what he'd do if he knew how far dad took the abuse, I don't even think mom know's how bad it is. I think she thinks it simply punches and that's all, it's so much worse.
I rush down the steps, not wanting to keep dad any longer than necessary, I didn't want to anger him, well, any more than I already have, because that man always seemed to be upset with me. I will never be able to make him proud of me, but why would I want him to be, he was an awful man for abusing his own flesh and blood, and for what?! I don't know why he hates me so much, what pushes him to want to harm me so much that I no longer want to be alive?
What makes my dad tick?
I rush into the living room, where my father, stood, his arms across his chest, a scowl on his face. But that wasn't what I was focused on, it was how many people were in the living room, all male, but they seemed, well mafia-like. I had warning sirens blaring in the back of my mind, I was to take caution, more importantly, I was afraid. I was scared. Not that my dad cared.
They were drinking, and my dad had a beer in his hand, even though it was brought up to his chest I could tell he wasn't sober, and a drunk dad was worse than a sober one.
"Hey, Harvis, Sam, come here," Dad said and two men stood up from the couches.
One had an Asian look to him, with light blue eyes. The other was a tall normal looking man, with a strong jawline and dark brown hair, both of them gave me chills of fear, but that wasn't what scared me, it was the look the Asian one was giving me.
"Yes, Jamion?" The tall one asked. The Asian one kept his eyes on me, and I shiver when I saw lust in his eyes.
"Come with me," Dad said to them, walking up, grabbing my arm roughly before walking through the kitchen, then the bad panic kicked in. I don't want to go to the basement.
But that's where we were headed.
At that moment, I hadn't know what was in store for me, but it didn't need to be remember, because the drunk members of the house wouldn't recall the things that happened that night, I would though. It would follow me for the rest of my life.
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