˜I would live forever if I could, but not like this- Unknown˜

True P.O.V

I woke in a room that was completely white. I couldn't hear anything for the first couple minutes until a continuous beeping noise, and I knew instantly that I was in a hospital, at that moment I knew I failed my attempt, I hadn't succeeded I had failed. I didn't die, why didn't I die?

I closed my eyes when the white lights became too much, and I had a blinding headache forming. I didn't want to be here. My stomach was hurting along with minor chest pains and it made me want to just vomit. The lights surely weren't helping either.

I was so sure I had taken enough pills so what failed, who would have saved me, no one inside the house would have even come into my room, well unless it was Bryan and I sure hope my baby brother didn't have to see that, but deep down I had a feeling he just happened to be the one who found me.

I kept my breathing calm so that the heart rate monitor wouldn't jump up and alert the medical staff who worked here that I had wakened up because I didn't really feel awake, more of numb compared to anything else right now.

I could feel the light trying to come through my eyelids and I felt a wave of an everyday headache and a possible migraine coming as well. God, why couldn't I just have died? That would have been so much better than this, I'd be free. I'd no longer have to live with pain or the fear that I had already.

I must have laid there for who knows how long before I even opened my eyes again, and I only opened my eyes because the pain that once filled my head disappeared. When I opened my eyes again, I got better detail of the hospital room I was in. I was in the middle of a hospital room, and I knew it was just me inside as there wasn't a curtain to separate the already small room. The ceiling was white, but the walls were grey, and the flooring was tiled with grey, white, and black, a more classical design compared to other hospital rooms and that was when I was sure that I was in a private room.

I looked over to my left and saw the heart rate monitor, the annoying thing it is, and I really wanted to destroy it, or make the noise go away, and I knew a way to do that, by yanking the IV that attached me to the heart rate monitor, but then it would look like I died and then doctors and nurses would rush into the room and I really don't need or want that to happen.

I knew a lot of bandages on my body, I had a cast wrapped around my upper chest, I knew I had broken a rib at least once within the last couple months I had felt pain there continuously since it first happened but that might have started because the continuous abuse and bullying wouldn't really let the wounds heal.

My leg was wrapped up as well, and prompted up a little as well with a pillow, I also had a big cast like wrapping was wrapped around my lower stomach where I felt the wrapping digging into my stomach where I had the glass shoved into my stomach by dumb and dumber. My throat felt like it was itching, making me want to cough and occasionally I would wheeze but I considered that, that was mainly because of the surgery my body had gone through. Yeah, I realized that they had done a nasogastric tube suction. Yeah, the pumped my stomach to get all the pills out of my system.

I looked out a window to the right of my bed, it was raining outside like light raining not heavy almost like it was a peaceful rain because the trees outside the window weren't shaking drastically like it would if it was a storm. It was almost peaceful, it would have been the greatest to sit outside, under a protective tree and read, or inside my room reading in the darkness or talking to Kiena.

I sighed, as I leaned my head back against the pillow and maneuvered my body to prompt the pillow up so I was no longer laying down, and I almost regretted it when my entire body did a flip like movement. I let out a quiet hiss, as my stomach screamed a loud "NO!" at me. I regretted moving but once I was prompted up I got comfortable and I remained comfortable as long as I didn't move my stomach too much. I had to move the pillow that prompted my leg up slightly.

I continued to look out the window when the door open, and out of the corner of my eye, I was a nurse standing at the door looking down at a clipboard before looking up and jumping when she saw me looking at her, awake.

Just as quickly as she came in, she rushed out probably to inform the doctors that I'm awake and after they come talk to me, check my injuries, and then tell my family that I'm awake more than likely the doctors would have to call them to inform them, and I'd probably never see them step foot inside this hospital.

I was right, after about a minute a doctor came in, along with Karin. Karin was wearing her hospital attire a much better than the doctor next to her, and I was going to guess that the doctor next to Karin had a lower medical knowledge. I was just going to assume my guess is correct because he looked excited to be standing next to Karin, or excuse me, Doctor Draves.

"You're awake," Karin stated, and I nodded in response. I looked at the other doctor not feeling very comfortable with him being in here, I didn't know him, so I didn't really trust him. Karin seemed to notice my cautious glance in the doctor's direction, and shooed him out of my hospital room. Karin walked over to me, a small smile on her face. She didn't want to spook me. I could tell.

She was being much more cautious around me at the moment.

"Kyle wanted to come see you," Karin said calmly. I felt my throat tighten for a moment, before calming myself again. She was looking at me calmly but there was questioning in her eyes, I was glad that I didn't see a hint of pity. I don't want nor need pity.

I didn't need to verbally respond to Karin, who was checking my IV to make sure everything was doing what it was supposed to. When she finished she stepped back. She looked at me. Her eyes definitely held wonder. Her eyes were asking, what's your story. A story that will most likely never be told. It didn't deserve to be told.

"So," Karin started, after moving to sitting next to my bed, in a moving chair that they usually hid under small tables. "How are you feeling?" She asked with concern in her voice. This is why I wanted her in here, the other doctor doesn't and wouldn't give two shits about how I was actually doing.

I look over at Karin, look her dead in the eyes and, I lied.