True P.O.V

I woke with a small smile on my face, and to be honest I haven't woken with a smile in a very long time. Yesturday I turned in the flash-drive and I know very well that something will be done, at the minimum he'll be called in and question and if it went the way I wanted it to, he'd end up behind bars for the rest of his life, I just need some of my peers to stand up and help me, we need some of my peers to vouch that this stuff actually happens because it truly happens.

I pulled myself off of my bed, a sigh escaping my lips, I truly wish Jessica hadn't been the one who had to be the person I happened to use to catch Mr. Troy on camera, but in the end this is for the better, for the future at this one point in life, it is for those who will one day walk through those doors and enter this high school, to protect them, like I wish someone would have protected me when I needed them to. If I had had one person to be there for me when I needed them, then I would have maybe been protected from everything that's happened to me.

Maybe if someone noticed . . . I wonder how much it would have changed, I wonder if anyone would have truly cared. Maybe . . . Maybe not.

I heard a loud crash from downstairs and I knew it was mom, since the crashing was the sound of a falling pan. She had begun to cook us breakfast, healthy breakfast's at that, since Bryan's doctor recommended a better food pattern, don't really know why since Bryan is the perfect weight for his age, at his age I had been under weight.

I pushed myself off my bed, climbing out of it, and grabbed the tote and started to pick out my clothes for the day when a knocking noise snapped me out of my train of thought.

"Come in!" I yell through the door, and look back down at the tote, and not looking up when the door actually opened.

"Damn, I forgot how small your room is . . . it's been forever since I've been in here." I look up to see Chris, and indeed it had been forever since he had been in this room. In all honesty I hadn't always lived in a room this small, but after I turned about seven dad moved me into this room and my other room was boarded up, before being renovated and it became a gaming room, a gaming room I wasn't allowed to go into. Even with dad being gone I'm to scared to go into the gaming room, afraid that I'll walk in and dad was going to come back from the dead to give me a beating that would kill me. I remember when I was younger, sitting outside the doors of the gaming room, and simply watching my siblings have the time of their lives while I was doing nothing but watching.

Watching got fucking old very fucking quick.

I slowly stopped watching and just stayed in my room and read books instead, that was something dad couldn't prevent me from doing that, so I developed a safe haven within books where the characters got the happily ever afters that I could only wish to achieve. Multiple times when I was younger I wished to be one of the characters, the ones who save the day, or overcome all the demons who are attempted to drag them down. If only I could be like them.

One step at a time I guess.

"Yeah . . . ." I say not looking up.

"So . . . what are you doing?" He asked obviously confused as to why I was looking in a tote.

"Picking out my clothes," I stop and look up, sensing he wanted something which is why he's here. "Is there something you need?" I asked giving him my attention since I knew he would feel uncomfortable with me not looking at him, it makes him feel like he's being ignored or pushed away, we never were given alot of attention in our youth and that even went as far to Chris, since he was the oldest and our parents focused on the younger ones.

So yeah, attention wasn't something we got as I'm used to not being given a lot of attention, I don't think I'd ever be used to a lot of attention.

"Yeah, um, do you want to spend the afternoon with me to hang out like we used to?" He said with a look of hope, but underneath that hope was a hint of the fear of rejection.

"Sure, I guess . . ." I said looking back down feeling slightly awkward all ready, but didn't want to disappoint Chris.

"Great, see you after school!" He said turning around and walking out of the door, a smile on his face made me feel slightly better. I continued to look at his back until my door was closed and I continued to look for my outfit.

I pulled out a dark blue shirt and some black jeans, and a light blue hoodie which I pulled over the shirt, I grabbed some socks and slipped on my combat boots, making sure my throwing knives were slide in there where they are suppost to be.

I push the tote back under my bed and get up and walk out of my room, closing the door behind me and hurrying to get to school and out of this house full of awkward silences. I still don't eat meals with my family, it's simply to awkward for me, because eventually the question of why I wanted to kill myself would come up and I don't think I could force myself to tell them I was raped. I don't want them to know that, it really isn't there business, it's past me.

Some parts of me say it really isn't and that it will effect me for the rest of my life and I know it probably will but I have faith that I will be free of the pain and fear.

I walk down the stairs quietly and saw mom cooking what looked like a attempt at making pancakes and considering I wasn't hungry I decided to skip the breakfast and was going to take my motorcycle to school today instead of having mom drive me because car rides end up being awkward as fuck. I walk quickly past the kitchen doors and make it out of the house without anyone in my family noticing, and got on my bike, hope in my heart for the day, and I drove off towards the school.