《If It Never Happened ⚣》Chapter 86: February 15th 2017
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True P.O.V
-"Why? Why shouldn't I just jump, just let go?"-
I took a deep breath as I stood outside the mansion I had unfairly run from the day before. It . . . was different. Not in physical ways, on the outside, it was the exact same. It was more of the feels I got from the building. It was darker outside, large stormy clouds surrounded the sky above, lurking above, waiting for the real storm to begin. I was afraid of how Alister would react to me showing back up. I didn't message him, I deleted the message I had spent simple moments working on before chickened out of sending it. A message, a simple little bubble that pops up on a screen wasn't enough. I needed to face it in person. I wasn't going to be a coward, as much as I wanted to be deep down. He deserved more than a coward. I knew that, and he should know it too.
I looked back down at my phone, running my finger over the screen in an attempt to calm my anxiety down. It somewhat worked but also didn't considering the fact that what I was about to do had a fifty-fifty effect.
I was going to try to convince Alister to find someone better.
All I was, was a pitiful boy with so many mental scars and issues, that you could write a book filled with every little flaw I've ever made. He deserved someone who wasn't . . . tainted. As much as I didn't want to stop dating him, even though we've only been dating a short while, it feels like it's been longer. The small moments of connection we had before all the chaos kicked in, that made our relationship seem more important, less like a one-week relationship, and more like a half year type of thing.
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I slide my phone back into my pocket, taking a step away from my motorcycle, which I had used to drive here. I probably should have walked, but then again, I would hate to walk away. That and driving was quicker.
I walked slowly up to the door, resting my head against the wooden door, my knuckle against my head, resting as well, waiting for my brain to command it to knock. To set off the chain of events. My fist was shaking as I knocked it against the door. Stepping back because it made me feel better.
I took a minute before the door opened and the face that opened the door wasn't a face at all. It was a gun.
I seriously sometimes forget that Alister has a target on his back like all the time.
Once Alister, who opened the door, realized who it was, he dropped the gun, and hid it behind his back, as if he hadn't held it up to my face at all.
He stepped back allowing me in but he had an obvious amount of relief in his eyes. It warmed my heart to see that he truly did care, but the fact that he cared hurt even more. He shouldn't be caring about someone like me. He should be caring about literally anyone else. Someone smarter. From a better background. Innocent. Sweet. Caring. All the things I literally could never claim as myself. I'll never be as innocent as a flower. Sweet, no thank you. Caring, it isn't like a can be in a kill or be killed environment.
He closed the door behind him and turned around opening his mouth to say something before he could, I cut him off. I couldn't let him make me weak with puppy love.
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"Let me explain first," I said looking down at the wooden tiled floor, noticing how nice my blue converses worked with the tone. He looked startled by me speaking first and it showed for about half a second before he cleared his face of all emotion before nodding and gestured in the direction of the living room. We walked into the ever clean room, I took a deep breath as I sat on the couch across from Alister.
"Explain . . . please," Alister said his resolve fading momentarily before he rebuilt his walls up right after. I looked at him, watching his inner turmoil of a battle taking place before nodding my head looking down, twiddling my fingers before speaking the truth.
"I woke up, you weren't here it felt wrong for me to be here without you even being here, let alone anyone else." I sighed looking up at him, looking him in the eyes. "That's not normal, I know it." I let the anxiety being to build up, all the things, the reasons why I thought I wasn't right for Alister came crashing to the front of my mind.
"Anyone else would have cherished being a big house, telling their friends all about it!" I said with enthusiasm in my tone, fake enthusiasm. "It's kind of hard to be enthusiastic when you have only three friends that you could even tell." I thinking how the friends part is somewhat my fault and not at the same time. I could never be friends with the kids inside my school, except Kyle and Claire. Those two are the only two who ever seemed to care inside the retched school.
"You should be with someone who's normal! Who acts like everyone else, who won't break down upon the idea of their parents, or who understand what it's like to be used, someone who wouldn't have trust issues about everything due to their history, you need someone . . . who's not me," I said looking up at Alister just in time to see him stand up, his stance, defensive.
"Stop talking about yourself like that!" He stated loudly.
"Why!?" I asked standing up as well. "Everything I'm saying is true, I shouldn't be with someone like you!"
"NO! I shouldn't be with someone like you! All I ever cause is problems! I'm putting you in danger simply by dating you!" Alister snapped back. I looked at him with wide eyes not expecting this turn. He took steps towards me, pulling me into a gentle hug, hiding my face in his chest.
"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you," He said. I felt the vibrations through the connection between my head and his chest. "Your a fighter, a survivor, stronger than I'd ever be, and you, True Night, are a remarkable human being who I'm lucky to call my boyfriend," Alister said, making my tears branch out.
He tightened his hold on me, pulling me over to the couch, and laid down, pulling me with him, cuddling me against his chest, in both a protective and gentle way.
He, he is amazing.
Who knew? Two fuck-ups truly go together.
3rd person
Unknown to the two resting in a comforting way, connecting to each other, that inside a van parked on the other side of the street was three men, watching with binoculars.
"Everything is going as planned." One of them said, and the other two nodded before they sped off, never being detected, and indeed. Everything was falling exactly as they planned.
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